December Chit Chat - Page 11 « Back to Group Discussions

[dashley111]

Joanie I hope you were not offended by anything I said.  The failure of our system does not always lie with the psychiatrists and psychologists- it lies within the actually SYSTEM. 

The way they are payed, the paperwork that needs to be filed, the stipulations insurance puts on treatment, the money that has to exchange hands in order for people to be treated.  Its part of our health care system, and our health care system is not too concerned with keeping people healthy.  If you have a heart attack you will be treated and released, but if you have a mental break and become suicidal you do not have guaranteed treatment.  

As far as kids tragically shooting other kids with guns at home-  people are irresponsible with their guns.  People are also irresponsible with their cars, and drive drunk and kill mini vans full of families every day.  We aren't talking about taking cars away, so why use it as an argument to take guns away?  Its not a guns fault that a parent leaves it out, its a parents fault.  Its not a cars fault it is driven drunk, its a drunk drivers. 

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Amanda, that's why I adore you. Even tho I'm pro hunting for food, I am very anti violence.
The thing is, most mass shootings don't happen in schools. And I don't think schizophrenia is totally preventable with gentle parenting. Bipolar disorder certainly isn't. I don't know how we can step up identification and treatment of mental illness.

Forgot to say, "Aw shucks... " to this!

Martial arts is an interesting idea. My brother was similarly a normal level of violent and unsupervised. I was more of a duck and cover girl... spent a lot of time hiding in the locked bathroom! 

I hear the pro-gun arguments, but my judgement is completely clouded. I have a visceral reaction to guns. To me, they represent nothing but violence and destruction. Cars have a useful purpose. Guns (to me) do not. You must update your driver's license. Police do random check points. DUIs are severely punished. I don't know... like I said, I can't discuss it rationally. Typically, I can be rational. But not about guns. I cannot be around one. It's an irrational fear, I'm sure, but there it is. I even feel a bit uncomfortable when there is a police officer around, because they have guns. 

[glassesgirlnj]

Originally Posted by dashley111 

As far as kids tragically shooting other kids with guns at home-  people are irresponsible with their guns.  People are also irresponsible with their cars, and drive drunk and kill mini vans full of families every day.  We aren't talking about taking cars away, so why use it as an argument to take guns away?  Its not a guns fault that a parent leaves it out, its a parents fault.  Its not a cars fault it is driven drunk, its a drunk drivers. 

I think that's actually a very good analogy! 

Driving in the United States is seen as a privilege, not a right.  You have to pass a detailed written test and a practical test in order to get a driver's license. In some states, you have annual or biannual inspections of your car, to make sure it's safe to use.  And, if you abuse the privilege of driving (such as driving drunk, in the example you gave above), it can be taken away from you for a significant amount of time or even permanently.

I have several policemen in my family (part Irish)  ;) , so I know there are many people who care for and secure their guns properly. That being said, I would definitely support a view of gun ownership which likened it more to the process of getting and keeping a driver's license.  Would you agree?

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

I think that's actually a very good analogy! 

Driving in the United States is seen as a privilege, not a right.  You have to pass a detailed written test and a practical test in order to get a driver's license. In some states, you have annual or biannual inspections of your car, to make sure it's safe to use.  And, if you abuse the privilege of driving (such as driving drunk, in the example you gave above), it can be taken away from you for a significant amount of time or even permanently.

I have several policemen in my family (part Irish)  ;) , so I know there are many people who care for and secure their guns properly. That being said, I would definitely support a view of gun ownership which likened it more to the process of getting and keeping a driver's license.  Would you agree?

I absolutely whole heartedly agree!  This is the perfect way to put it.

With so much sadness everywhere, I had the hardest time sending my kids to school this morning. I did not want to tell them that, of course.  The least comforting thing in the world would be hearing your Mom say she doesn't want to send you to school because she fears there are too many crazies in the world, right?  I could not find any logical excuse to keep them home.  I tried.  They wanted to go.

[birdhappy85]

After a distressing weekend grieving for those in the midst of the shooting situation (I internalize things a lot and have a hard time coping with these tragedies...) I did find something positive to come out of the newscasts. I am so glad that several news programs had psychologists and other mental health professionals explain in detail how parents should handle these situations around children. In a world where too much violence is discussed readily around children, it's so important to remind people that children do not have the capacity and understanding to handle things the same way we do. For instance, if they watch the TV showing these images and stories of violence over and over, for children it's like they are reliving it over and over -- it's happening in the present and close to home. As Sora grows up, I want to make a point to not discuss scary things around her. I dealt with that far too much as a child and lived in fear every day. I want my own children to maintain their innocence and have a basic understanding that yes bad things can happen but it's rare and not something they need to live in fear of.

Btw, Ash, not offended at all. 

[seraf]

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 


I even feel a bit uncomfortable when there is a police officer around, because they have guns. 

.

I'm pretty sure I'm uncomfortable because of the many many speeding tickets I got as a teen.

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by dashley111 

As far as kids tragically shooting other kids with guns at home-  people are irresponsible with their guns.  People are also irresponsible with their cars, and drive drunk and kill mini vans full of families every day.  We aren't talking about taking cars away, so why use it as an argument to take guns away?  Its not a guns fault that a parent leaves it out, its a parents fault.  Its not a cars fault it is driven drunk, its a drunk drivers. 

Yes, people are irresponsible with their guns.  Yes it is the person that pulls the trigger.  But this whole "guns don't kill people, people kill people" argument is something I am really tired of hearing.  I just don't buy it.  I don't.  Guns are made to kill things.  Cars are not.  Yes, people can be irresponsible about their cars as well.  But we have more restrictions and regulations in place for cars and driving than we do for guns.   I haven't made it to the place where I'm saying I think we should ban all guns.  I think we should ban most guns- especially these crazy guns made for war (most certainly not hunting or self defense) and large ammo clips.  We need gun education, we need background and mental health checks, and we need these things required every couple of years just like we require our driver's licenses to be renewed.

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 
I hear the pro-gun arguments, but my judgement is completely clouded. I have a visceral reaction to guns. To me, they represent nothing but violence and destruction. Cars have a useful purpose. Guns (to me) do not. You must update your driver's license. Police do random check points. DUIs are severely punished. I don't know... like I said, I can't discuss it rationally.

Yep.

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

I did find something positive to come out of the newscasts. I am so glad that several news programs had psychologists and other mental health professionals explain in detail how parents should handle these situations around children.

Yes, our superintendent even sent out a mass email with tips and links for talking to children and explained what support services the district had in place should anyone need them.  I thought it was a very positive thing to do.

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

Driving in the United States is seen as a privilege, not a right. 

Understood, but the right to bear arms as it was written in 1776 is not being modernized for today's society.  Our forefathers did not write this amendment with weapons capable of mass killings in mind.  I do not believe we are interpreting the intent of the amendment responsibly and it's time to change that.

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

Yes, our superintendent even sent out a mass email with tips and links for talking to children and explained what support services the district had in place should anyone need them.  I thought it was a very positive thing to do.

I realized this morning on my way to work that I should have talked to my 5th grader about this. To me, she (and her 8 yo sister) are too young to know. We also do not have the news on at the house ever, and their internet usage is extremely limited. But, I forgot that not everyone is like that. I'm sure some kid made an inappropriate comment today. Other kids were probably discussing it. Oops. Honestly, my kids are pretty sheltered... I tend to forget that I can't control what they hear at school. Sigh. I guess we will talk when she gets home. I doubt she will be too affected. She is mostly absorbed in anxieties over minor things, like the potential for her pants to not have pockets. No pockets = no 24/7 access to chapstick. And she is obsessed with chapstick. You would be amazed the amount of tears that have been shed over potentially wearing pocketless pants. (FYI- she picks out her clothes and I never force her to wear anything.) 

[seraf]

Amanda, my kids don't know either. And she needs a chapstick necklace. Want my DD to make her one?

[Jaimee]

My kids don't know, but they are also out of state right now, visiting their great grandmother, and will not be in school again until January.  By then people may not be discussing it so much.  I was originally upset that Avalon would be missing this last week of school before the holiday break (she's missing a class party and other fun activities) but now I'm glad she's not there. 

[dashley111]

We had a string of awful things happen in our community this year.  I was not left the choice of bringing it up to my kids because before they even got home they had already heard about the days events at school.  Granted, they were on lock-down two days in a row so it was obvious something was going on both times. 

My son came home from school that day and literally said the words, "Hey, did you know that cop killer shot himself in the face right behind our school?  We saw the SWAT team get out of the helicopter out of the window and we heard the shots."  And all I could think was WHY, OH WHY did they have to explain it to our children without our consent?  Why did nobody shut the freaking blinds?  They did not even address the kids, but the teachers at the school were freely discussing what was going on in front of the children. 

People just have no discretion.  So, this time I made sure to bring it up to my kids so that I could comfort them in the middle of it and talk to them about how safe THEY are even when tragic things happen.  I absolutely did not want it to be told to them by someone so insensitive this time.  I made sure there was no mention of it before I had to send them to school today even though it was practically all that was on my mind.

[CDsMom1031]

I do not have time to read 90 posts that I've missed over the last 6 days, wow! LOL I'll catch up with them tonight.

My sister heads to the hospital in about an hour to get admitted... They're inducing her in the morning.

I officially work two jobs. Yay for my life.

[Jaimee]

Don't worry, Nicole, most of them are about the CT shooting, gun control, mental health, etc. 

Good luck to your sister!

[ZippyGirl]

Thank you everyone for your hugs and kind words.  And Jaimee, your input and wisdom are always appreciated!  One of the little boys who died was buried in my town today.  Such sadness.  My daughter returned to school today (I just couldn't send her to school yesterday).  DH and I are still trying to figure out what to do about DD's schooling for next year.  DD doesn't know what happened, and thankfully all of the parents at her school decided not to tell their children.

Do you all think it would be okay for me to share what her teachers wrote to the parents about how to deal with this kind of event?  I just want to make sure I am not doing anything inappropriate. 

Amanda, aikido might be a helpful form of martial arts (based on Sarah's suggestion).  I think it has a lot to do with deflecting another's aggressive energy rather than attacking someone or hurting someone (even if they are trying to hurt you).

[Abraisme]

Amanda - You don't have to answer this online, but does your DD have digestion issues at all?  I know that you are a vegetarian, but you might consider something like the GAPS diet to help her.  Many children with autism can be totally healed with the right diet.  It's just a thought worth looking into.  The woman that wrote the GAPS book strongly believes that vegetarianism can make disorders like aspergers worse.  

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by Abraisme 

Amanda - You don't have to answer this online, but does your DD have digestion issues at all?  I know that you are a vegetarian, but you might consider something like the GAPS diet to help her.  Many children with autism can be totally healed with the right diet.  It's just a thought worth looking into.  The woman that wrote the GAPS book strongly believes that vegetarianism can make disorders like aspergers worse.  

  Abra is a GAPS cheer leader!  Got an ailment?  GAPS. 

Ok but seriously, I have heard the same thing.  I actually read a book on it at one point when I had taken in one of my nephews who was having some issues.  I cannot remember the book, but it was written by a mom who cured her sons very severe autism with diet changes and different kinds of detox therapy.

[TalkToMeNow]

I wrote two responses, neither of which came out right. So instead I will say, thanks for the suggestions, but I have a different perspective. 

ETA I'm referring to diet and detoxing. 

[seraf]

Amanda, hugs. Many people are helped by dietary changes and many people are not. You guys will find what's best for your family.