I have been married to my second husband for nearly 3 years and between us we have four children -- my 2 stepsons who live with us full time (mother deceased) and my own son and daughter children who, until early this year, lived with us the majority of the time (every other weekend and one night a week with their father). This year has been tough because my oldest daughter -- 15yo -- moved to live with her father full time (wanted more independence and less rules), and only sees ME for 1-2 hours a week. Right now she does not spend any time with my husband or her step-brothers (except she has gone with all of us maybe 2-3 weekends this year to visit my parents)... but of course sees her own brother when he goes to visit his dad.
Of course I'm dealing with all sorts of issues right now ... but one of the very minor "weird" things over this holiday season is how to send our Christmas cards. We usually include a photo of all 6 of us and send to both my husband and my family and friends. I don't know whether to try to get my daughter to come take a family photo with us (which my husband is pretty opposed to because of the pain she has caused to me/us over this past year and because she is never here) ... or to send out a card with individual photos of the kids and INCLUDE her (maybe a collage with a photo of my husband and me in one pic, and then individuals of each child) ... or just do a family photo and not include my daughter? Part of me just wants to NOT send Christmas cards this year or just send a non-photo version, but my husband says that his family enjoys seeing how the kids have changed.
If she even lived with us part time ... this would not be an issue ... but since she only spend time with me and my son ... don't know how to address this.