so my twin are 23m and my boy has suddenly developed a huge sleeping issue, he has gone from a kids that for about the last 9 months or so has just happy laid down each nap and night after nursing in a chair and rolled over and went to sleep. maybe talks to himself a bit but other than that has always been amazingly low key and easy to sleep.
he moved into his own room with his twin sister at about 13 months, the move was slow and pretty easy, they have always been brought back in our room whenever they really wanted it and like i said he was surprisingly the one that on his own dropped each night waking one after another and now it is a rare thing. he has had some night terror like behavior in the past, but this seems completely different than that.
a few days ago there was a 180 degree change, he now throws a complete and intense fit and wants someone to stay in the room while he goes to sleep, not much more than that. siting a few feet away on a couch is fine, he settles super fast and is totally quiet. but hell comes the moment you want to leave the room, even 20 min later. it takes seemingly forever before he is in such a deep sleep that he does not notice you leaving.
once he is sleeping he seems to be sleeping fine, i assume he is dealing with the normal mini waking throughout the night great since I'm right next door and dont hear a peep. he is waking and asking to come into my room a bit sooner than is normal for him, but since normal was after 10,11 or even 12 hours of sleep, a "bit earlier" is still amazing.
he has one nap a day since about 15 months and since going to one it has settled into a nice long 2-3 hours nap with great consistency. bedtime has been at 8pm for more than a year and is very consistent as is he bedtime routine, they ask (sign) for the first step if they are tired, and frankly its the best time of the day for all the family members.
and i am just int he 2nd week of night weening them. but i will repeat that my son had basically night weened himself last month by starting to sleep completely thru the night like 10-12 hours half the time, but at least 8 till 5 so that is amazing. it is actually his sister that is both fighting the night weening and was the reason i am feeling the need to do it, she had become demanding and aggressive and i felt like it was holding her bad from a better sleep pattern. the night weening has gone smooth and before this strange change a few days ago i had seen both kids sleep from 8-5ish for most of a week (i nurse then starting at 6 and then have been bummed but ok with just cuddling before that)
they still nurse for a long time in the morning, before and after nap and before bed. i have just in the last few days cut out the mid evening nursing, but again it was only my girl that had been asking for that, he could kinda care less.
i still nurse on request if someone is upset or hurt, it does not happen much.
he has all his main teeth in and have been in for a while, i see no signs what so ever of his 2 year molars, though i have not ruled that out, but since he goes down so super easy if we are in the room, i dont think it is a physical cause.
so sorry that was so long, just wanted to give a good picture of their day.
the two questions are
1. what is causing this?
2. how do a help him thru it?
i side note since i think that the nursing and weening is going to be looked at as the cause by many. if it was my DD that this was happening to i would say that was it, but my son has been super laid back and gets his mommy fix thru cuddles way more than nursing, he of course gets quiet one on one cuddles nearly every time he wants them. one on one lap time has been a strong priority for me as a twin mom.
the reason i am taking these first weening steps is twofold, the night weening is to safe my health and sanity, i have hit a wall with lack of sleep and the twins that has become super unhealthily and is stopping me from being the mom i want to be for then during the day, it also was making me hate nursing any time because my dd was so aggressive and demanding, so these cut backs and limits were to save the nursing relationship in general, something that i feel strongly on maintaining.
the small cut backs in the day are in preparation for a time in the near future when i may be put on a medication that i may not want to nurse while it is in my system, it is a fast acting drug so i could take in the the morning after morning nursing and then have it out of my system before bedtime, only needing to drop the nap nursing. they had gone to bed a handful of time for dad without nursing, so i know that they can be eased into this as a choice to protect their health. i just wanted to start it now so it was not sudden if it needs to happen in a few weeks.