December Chat Thread! - Page 2
We have never put a sleeper on him before, are those what are considered bedtime clothes?
He is in onesies (long and short sleeved) and pants. At night we swaddle still, but a loose one and only his arms. I am so thankful I can nurse him to sleep. Nursing to sleep makes life so much easier here on everyone in the house. He has let relatives walk and rock him to sleep before if he has a really full tummy and is pretty sleepy, and his dad does naps with the ergo.
Edited by Sol_y_Paz - 12/6/12 at 11:06am
monkey, that's what we're doing, basically. Throw in overnight diaper, swaddle, and nurse down.
ETA: And she wears whatever onesie she was wearing during the day. She's not in dresses or anything yet, so there's no need to change clothes unless it's uber-spitty or something. I had no use for those sleeper sacks, though I might start using a sleep sack if we stop swaddling (because we have a few, not because they're necessary).
We switch to the sleepers if she is sleeping in the bed with us, if we're putting her in the crib, we do a sleep sack. She will not let us swaddle her, as she sleeps with her arms straight up over her head, and she kicks any blankets off, so the sleepers are helpful. That said, sometimes she just ends up sleeping in what she wore that day, but since I usually spill food on her, and she spits up a lot, I mostly try to change her before I bring her into bed. I also like that at least there is some differential/indication between day and night. Plus, we got a bunch of sleepers, so they're getting used.
It really is a fun time! She's super smiley and talks/squeals/shrieks a lot. She loves when we read w her and is reaching for, grabbing and chewing on everything. Tummy time is pretty fun all of a sudden and she's scooting around more when I leave her on her back, rolling from back to side. Its definitely time to start child-proofing!!
We're working on getting her to take a bottle. No luck yet but I'm kind of a slacker when it comes to pumping so...
Congrats on your little ceremony, VV! it's exciting and kind of special to have your own little secret.
Hugs to you Lily. I can't really imagine leaving Lu with anyone but family right now, even though I was a nanny myself. I'm sure everyone will adjust and she just has one more person to love on her. Lucky girl! I'm sure the transition, plus the 4month gs are making for a tough week. It'll get better soon.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the holidays! We've decided to skip Santa pics. Mostly because DH doesn't like the concept and I'm indifferent. Instead we're having a family shoot on the beach and going on a whale watching boat ride. Humpback's migrate through VA Beach in December! I'm looking forward to starting a new tradition.
I've been struggling with swaddling Piper partially because there's concern that babies who can roll over who are swaddled may not be able to get themselves out of dangerous situations. But I came across this article on Mothering and to be honest it really ticked me off. http://www.mothering.com/community/a/routine-swaddling
The concern I have is that after reading the article there's no clear evidence that swaddling is bad, but a constant sort of hint that if you swaddle you're a bad mother (you won't be responsive to your baby's cues, for example). A lot of the evidence they present seems to deal mostly with younger babies, but they present it as if it also applies to older babies (over a month old). Finally, it argues that there are lots of other options to swaddling, particularly baby wearing, nursing, and skin to skin with baby. All of these are extremely "mother-intensive". The idea that a mother might swaddle a well fed baby in order to get some sleep and be a better mother is completely ignored. For example, the author actually says that a colicky baby might be better served by being carried than by being swaddled. Sure, but what about the mother? No one can carry a baby 24 hours a day. And no one should have to. If swaddling a baby makes her more comfortable for long enough that a parent (father or mother) can get sufficient sleep to go on caring, I'd say that's pretty damn good.
I just get so frustrated with this aspect of MDC. I consider myself an adherent to "attachment parenting" in the sense that I strongly believe that babies in particular need strong attachment to a central figure and that responding to your child's needs is the best way to parent. But at times, MDC seems to pit the mother's needs (for sleep, for example) against the infant's needs (whatever they imagine they might be).
I'm sorry this turned into a rant. I get really irritated when a purportedly evidence-based website like MDC posts this kind of stuff, since it seems, to me at least, to be propaganda that is actually damaging to women and therefore not helpful for the infants they care for. They end the article on this note:
"Franz offers parents a simple way to sort out conflicting advice. “See which basket the advice fits into: the good-for-the-parent basket or the good-for-the-baby basket,” she suggests. “Remember: You’re not managing an inconvenience; you’re raising a human being.”"
But isn't there a point at which what's good for the parent is also good for the baby?
Again, sorry for the rant. And I don't want anyone to be offended. I guess I just get frustrated at times and need to vent.
I read this article a while back (Eulalie was maybe 2 months old) and felt similarly to you Lily. But the article made its way under my skin more than I would like to admit and for about a week I felt guilty every time I swaddled my tiny babe. Until, one night Eulalie had been crying for well over and hour and I swaddled her while singing a lullaby and as soon as the first fold was over her left arm I felt her whole body relax. She gave one more little hiccuping cry and then began to doze to sleep (I sat a rocked her for 15 more minutes until she finally was completely out). The article says that swaddling shuts the infant down rather than soothes her, but I have to disagree. My daughter genuinely likes being swaddled. From what I can see, it makes her feel safe and allows her to sleep without startling. She relaxes when she is swaddled, and I really don't think iI'm just suppressing her. If she hated it, I wouldn't do it.
I feel kind of like a sucker that the article even made me question myself at all, but just like Lily points out it did so by trying to make me feel like I am choosing myself over my baby. We are a family of individuals and as such I believe we do what is in the best interest of all of us. Thanks for bringing this article up.
I read the same article some months ago. I was so sleep deprived but do remember thinking that is funny since my swaddled baby has no problem letting me still know his needs and he doesn't sleep long at all. I think the ergo infant insert is like being swaddled. Also the infant carry for Moby reminds me a lot of a swaddle.
My baby is 4 months old and still likes being swaddled at night. We do a loose swaddle of arms only since that is what he likes. He loves to kick and has loved to kick for a long time so his legs have been free a long time since he likes to play soccer most of the day. When he was a newborn we did a full swaddle and pretty tight since the startle reflex did a fine job of startling and upsetting him all the time. My swaddling was pretty terrible as in too loose and and not the perfect angles but DH's was really good and it made a difference.
From this thread or another in our DDC I learned some babies hate their arms to be swaddled but don't mind their legs being in a sleep sack. Mine wouldn't go for that.
justchanti, I think that's what ticked me off about it so much -- I was actually second guessing myself. And then I went back and read it over again and just found it offensive. Well, I'm glad other people found it as ridiculous as I did.
In other news, Piper grabbed the bottle away from the nanny today and fed herself. What? Craziness. When I got home she was furiously sucking at it, holding it with both hands while the nanny tried to keep her from choking it all down. I think someone may be going through a serious growth spurt over here.
ETA: I found this thread of comments on the original swaddling post and it completely justifies my love of the mothering community and my suspicion of the MDC honchos at the top. Such a great group of replies and some had me laughing out loud. Amazing. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1335689/swaddling-a-second-look/20
Edited by LilyTiger - 12/8/12 at 8:35am
I'm not decidedly for or against swaddling, but my babies have liked to be wrapped up to be put to sleep. Not tightly swaddled, but just their flying arms wrapped up and held close in the crook of my left arm. Yes, all 4 prefer that exact position.
I agree that swaddling to quiet them isn't appropriate, but none of my kids would respond like that. If they're swaddled tight and that's not what they need, they'll continue to cry until they get what they actually need.
I do not agree with the one-size-fits-all advice to all new parents (so it seems) to swaddle their baby all the time. But it's also not practical to tell them that they need to hold their baby all the time either!
Ugh...parenting advice sucks.
As long as it's safe, just do what works for you and your individual baby :)
I think the most important thing to give new parents is CONFIDENCE. All kinds of theories from the past (a strict 4-hour feeding schedule comes to mind) that insist on rigid rules for new parents have caused trouble, and I think they inhibit bonding. A certain amount of safety information is important, but aside from that just present different parenting styles as OPTIONS, and encourage new parents to choose (and use their instincts to find) the methods that work the best for their families.
This approach requires that we actually trust new parents to use their common sense. I think there is very little of this kind of trust in our culture right now - protocol so often replaces common sense. As a result, we are losing our common sense - it atrophies from lack of exercise. We need to consciously bring it back.