Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama
This is a hypothetical situation for us to practice different philosophies of GD:
You and your 5 year old have plans to go to the zoo with some friends who are driving a long way to join you. You were rushing out the door and decided to (at your child's insistence), let her wear a jacket that you felt was not quite warm enough. Your group was visiting the indoor monkey area. After watching the monkeys for a long time the group wanted to move on and have a picnic lunch. Your DC said she wanted to stay and eat lunch in the indoor monkey area. Eating is not allowed in that area and you told her it was time to go. She refuses and you do not know how to get her to move on to the next thing.
What would you do?
What are some different GD approaches that would work well in this situation?
It's OK to get "out there" since this isn't a real family or situation.
I use "123 Magic" which is a rather mainstream discipline book, but an age-old and effective method. There is no yelling or hitting. It lets children decide whether or not they'll comply. If they don't, they get a time out. It takes a lot of parental work at first, but it's one of the gentlest ways out there, assuming it's used consistently and kindly (avoiding angry time outs and yelling!).
Anyway, in my house this situation probably would not happen. We choose outerwear for kids who are young like this, and the reason is, we know best. So if a child argued with us about this as we were leaving, the likely worst case scenario is we'd be late to meet our friends due to a time out.
However, if I somehow found myself in this situation, I would give the child a count for arguing. I'd probably offer her a blanket tell her her choice is to have lunch in time out or wear a blanket and join everyone at the picnic. If the arguing continued to "3" the child would go for a time out, probably in the car while everyone else had the picnic.This would also mean no ice cream because ice cream is for picnic-havers (or something).
I don't think at five, a child ought to sit in the cold to learn a lesson. It's not her responsibility to know what to wear. It IS her responsibility, however, to follow directions. And she is not to argue when she's been told the parent's decision is firm. It's the parent's responsibility to provide warm clothing. And it's the parent's responsibility to make sure that the child isn't allowed to ruin a picnic, or tantrum & receive special treatment! A time out is a drag. Especially if you have to walk all the way back to the car. But it doesn't take a lot of time outs like that to get the message across. And when I give them, I don't feed the tantrum by talking at the kid, or acting put out. At least I try not to! We have a good system, here.