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Dingoes Running in Search of Light and Warmth in December! - Page 11

post #201 of 267
Well, DS is off to Ohio for the holidays. bawling.gif It's so strange, it's happy and sad at the same time...I'm ecstatic to have a little time to myself, but at the same time, (even though I've done it before), it breaks my heart not to be with him for Christmas. greensad.gif And to boot, I'm coming down with some crud. I dropped DS off at school this morning, and then went back to bed and slept for 3 hours, until I had to get up to go to his school party! I skipped one of the two parties I was supposed to go to tonight, and I've been loading up on zinc and emergen-c, so hopefully I can fight it off. I have too much fun planned to succumb right now...and can't afford to call out sick over Christmas (it involves getting a doctor's note, which would mean an ER or urgent care visit, sigh). The one party that I did go to turned out to be a lot of fun, other than the major coughing fit I had in the middle of it...it was a cookie exchange, with some friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. Fun, although now I have about two dozen cookies that someone has to eat...

rr~Stupid crud. Maybe tomorrow, I guess I'll see how I feel in the morning...
post #202 of 267
Sparkle - a job is pretty much the only thing between Colorado and my family, but that's a pretty big thing.

Gaye - I hope you feel better today

Jennie - I am so sorry about tripod greensad.gif

RR - my lower leg is still numb from the lidocaine injection yesterday, so no running until I can actually feel my foot again.

NRR - I am sad this morning. DH said something that kind of upset me, about just getting through life and accepting that this is the way life is. I often get a vibe from him that I am not the bill of goods he thought he was getting when we married. I am no longer the thin, fit, well-dressed, über-organized woman I was at 30. Having children really changed me, and not for the better, I hate to say. I have lost myself. And therefore, he has lost me too greensad.gif.
post #203 of 267
JG - Im so sorry for that. I dont think anyone is the same. The 40's seem to me a time of reflection over what has passed and a re-orientation toward what's to come. It is hard; both coming to terms with what has been, and mobilizing for the next 'phase'. It is VERY easy to lose oneself to motherhood, and very hard to see it when it is happening. I dont think there is a best way to do it, however, I have lately decided that however people choose to parent, they should be happy. I think happy parents make good parents, whether that means staying home or working full time or some mix. I think its easy as a mom to feel a sense of fulfillment in giving yourself to others, in sacrifice, which can feel like you are doing it for yourself as well, only to emerge from the childbearing years feeling like you gave, and now who are you? You have been talking for awhile about figuring out your next move - not that you need one, as you have always struck me as such an involved, active persona and parent - but maybe this makes you think more about just what it is you want for YOU, and if that's doing what you are doing, great, and if not, then you can begin some change? I also think losing ones physical ability is a huge assault on Self. Obviously you are tremendously blessed and able, but you are not the athlete you once were, and the connection, at least for me, between my athleticism and my sense of power in the world (work, relationships, community) ans sense of motivation or connection to the Life force, is so fundamental to the Jess I think is most authentically me, and my best me. It's been a very hard 5 years of letting A LOT go. And I know the past few years have been very hard for you. Big hugs. Can you talk it out with Dh? grouphug.gif
post #204 of 267
Listening to you dingo mamas talk about all the changes and challenges of marriage, parenthood, personal identity just makes me wish we could all hang out over a hot cup o' jo. grouphug.gifcaffix.gif About 6 years ago, a therapist who I deeply believe in, sat me down and looked me hard in the eyes and told me what an incredible future I have in store. I have hung on to those words like a lifeboat. They come to me in the middle of the night, during a run, when I am at my weakest and my strongest. I took it in and worked it around my head for a couple of years and in the last year or two, I have been determined to see it come to fruition. Though I am not yet living my dream, it is better. And I can live with better.
JG, I hope your best days are ahead of you, too. And I hope that if you're in a not so good place, that that place will somehow serve its purpose and take you through it. Be kind to yourself. If there is another place or way for you to be and live, you will get there when the time is right. Mothering, moving, spouse-ing, each takes its own toll. For now, you are where and who you are supposed to be. May your best days be in front of you. heartbeat.gif

Sparkle, nice job clearing the air. I know that weighted feeling. And the release of it. smile.gif

Tjsmama, I don't know how you do it. Really. I hope the crud goes away fast so you can have a smoking good time that flies by and brings your boy back to you in no time at all.

Run/walk done. I'm doing weights after this and then some yoga stretches. Tomorrow, we fly... namaste.gif

eta: Sometimes I just need to be edited.
Edited by loftmama - 12/21/12 at 10:14pm
post #205 of 267
duplicate post. whoops
Edited by loftmama - 12/21/12 at 10:04pm
post #206 of 267

JayGee, I understand how you're feeling, and I think Jess's wisdom is particularly apt. Especially with your pain and dx issues these past couple years. I was thinking about it, and I actually wonder wth my dh was thinking when he married me. I was a basket case and a serious mess. The darker part of me wonders whether he homed in on my fragility and neediness as a weakness to exploit, or whether he saw past that into my real potential (haha). And that makes me think about where he was in his life then. He was a mess, too. We do change, over and over, and in our case, thank G!d we do. I guess I'd ask whether there was a vision in the first place. Or whether there could be one now. I don't think it's ever too late to create a vision to work toward, and a shared vision can be an incredibly bolstering thing. It can sort of be "the real," serving as an anchor as we pitch through the waves.

 

I went completely off the rails for M's bday. I was handling things well until the cakes. Well, now the cakes are gone, and I guess since we're still here, winky.gif Age of Aquarius and all that, I figured today was as good a day as any to commit to another real W30. That's it; I am in. There's no good reason I shouldn't, and a lot of good reasons I should, so I am. Today was day 1 and it got ugly. Carb flu for real. But I survived that, and I also spent a couple hours sunbathing on the beach, a half an hour cycling, and half an hour doing yoga.

 

I have good coffee and coconut milk for the morning. There are good eggs in the fridge and the makings of a nice salad. Of course, there are also 5 boxes of lokum, since dh got home last night from Turkey. eyesroll.gif And one of those boxes is the milk kind with coconut and pistachios. And I am leaving them alone because I am feeling like garbage from the sugar, and don't need dairy pimples all over my chin to add to the mess.

 

Don't celebrate Christmas, so might as well get a head start on my new year. orngtongue.gif Everyone else will be MIA until NYE or later, too, which should make it easy for me to choose better.

 

Have also started putting pressure on dh to plan a vacation. He needs to look at his calendar now and make a plan. He's still saying Malaysia. I guess I should see what tickets will run...

 

Oh, yes and tomorrow is also our for reals 15-year anniversary. So there is also that. flowersforyou.gif

post #207 of 267

Happy Saturday, folks!

 

I went for my 100,000 check up yesterday.  I was at the doctor's for an hour and a half.  I got stabbed, sucked, poked, and prodded.  The doctor carved out my callus from my heel to get at my planter's wart that I've been unsuccessfully trying to file down and treat all natural like.  Now I have a huge hole in the bottom of my foot.  I'm also up quite a few pounds, so it's time redouble the efforts to monitor my eating and get daily exercise.  The good news is the my RP is now cleared to walk up to two miles as long as it's not too fast and there are no hills.  At the moment, that goes ok with the mongo hole in the bottom of my foot.

 

And now my knee hurts more because I've been walking a little funny on my foot, and then I had the great idea that maybe jumping rope would be a good way to get some cardio. 

 

My MIL has been here for 72 hours now.  I'm spent.  She's a nice woman and does the dishes, but she talks constantly at volumes appropriate of a rock concert, often interrupting someone already talking.  We've been working hard with the kids on not interrupting in the last few months, and we'd made a ton of progress.  Now it's *gone*.  3 days of modeling that you interrupt the 7 year old talking about his day at school to talk about how much of DH's the playground was covered when he was in elementary school and the kids are back to square one.  irked.gif

 

Hey, she does the dishes.

 

JayGee, you've had a lot of upheaval in your life in the last several years.  Be gentle with yourself as you find your way.

post #208 of 267
JayGee--FWIW, much of what your husband seems to be missing is surface stuff. I'd guess you're also still quite organized, but what that looks like when you have mostly yourself to manage vs three kids and a husband who likely has backslid in that area (as most of ours have seemed to have done), well, what does he expect? There's a reason that as people move into higher levels of management, they tend to have more employees at their disposal to carry out things. You have more responsibilities but not more employees. I PM'd you with more ideas about the mill and bond.

Geo--hang in there. One of the things that makes me most crazy at my in-laws is the volume. Everything is loud, and only gets louder when my nephew is there. We are a quiet people.

1jooj--congrats on 15!

tjsmama--hope you feel better soon. There is so much nasty stuff going around, and not helped like idiots like the mom at dance class who sat and coughed every 60 seconds or less, without covering her mouth, and with infants under 6 months maybe 10 feet away. I finally just sat glaring at her. She apparently has twins and one will go to the class but the other won't go unless mom is there. Strangely enough, their father was there too, so I couldn't quite understand why she wouldn't take the kid who didn't want to go in (and had a nasty cough herself) and go home or at least wait in a part of the rec center that isn't near the babies. Nope, she just sat staring at her laptop, coughing and coughing and coughing, and ignoring her kid. He did the same thing without coughing. And he wasn't working; I could see his screen. Grrr.

RR: should be 6 today. Soon.

NRR: All's calm here, except that my niece is sick again. She attended all of 7 days of school between Thanksgiving and winter break. The doctor heard something in her right lung (where she had the chest tube), but they took her for another chest x-ray and thankfully there was no pneumonia. If there had been, it would have been back to the hospital for another chest tube. Can you imagine? She has a very wet cough, but the diagnosis is that she just picked up a virus and should be fine.
post #209 of 267

Real, yes, we generally keep a rather quiet house.  It's a lot of what makes school hard for my kids.  The lunch room is the worst part of their days.

 

I hope your niece recovers quickly.  My doctor mentioned that their office (3 doctors) has been seeing 1 case of pneumonia per hour this week.  It's been a bad season. 
 

post #210 of 267

JayGee, I can't say anything that lofty and sparkle haven't already said more articulately. Be kind with yourself.

 

Geo, this may be dense, but what's a 100,000 check up (google brings up all car-related links)? I've been working on some plantar warts via natural measures, and have successfully made a huge natural hole in the bottom of one heel. Ew. Good luck with your MIL visit.

 

Real, sending lots of healthy vibes to your niece and to your whole family.

 

jo, happy anniversary. Wishing you the best of success with all of your New Year's goals.

 

Safe travels, lofty.

 

My week in a nutshell: Big snowfall and power outage Wednesday, husband and I both hit by the "barfing" virus on Thursday, last day of lab testing at the college yesterday, more snow, more shovelling, a night shift at the hospital last night (there is something poetic about staying up for the "longest night", even if it's still the same number of hours) and a ton more snow today. All of my exercise has been shovelling at times with very heavy slushy snow. I'm mostly ready for Christmas except for some stocking stuffers and the final grocery store trip planned for early tomorrow morning. I am officially finished working until the 27th, but that doesn't stop the hospital from calling...

 

Resolution list is in progress- this is the first year in many that I've accomplished everything on my list and am not carrying anything over to next year!! Amusingly, when I reviewed last year's list I had thought that I had put something about treating my feet (plantar warts and occasional fungus and generally abused and not sandal-friendly) on my resolution list. I didn't, perhaps knowing that I wouldn't quite finish in 2012. It's well underway, and I hope to wear sandals again in 2013. Other goals are not just applying for masters programs but actually starting classes (see how wily wording got me off easy last year...), a trail half marathon, and something being more playful and less serious in my casual interactions with people. Still thinking- I usually have about 6-10 items on the annual "to-do" list. 

 

I have lost the kids crazy carpets and can't find them anywhere. We're off to the sledding hill with frisbees to slide on. I want the exercise of a walk into town and to get out of the house to recover from my post-night-shift fog. While I was sleeping the family cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed and made me happy to wake up in a cleaner house than the one I feel asleep in :)

post #211 of 267
Quote:
Originally Posted by MelW View Post

 

Geo, this may be dense, but what's a 100,000 check up (google brings up all car-related links)? I've been working on some plantar warts via natural measures, and have successfully made a huge natural hole in the bottom of one heel. Ew. Good luck with your MIL visit.

 

:lol  I left out the word "mile."  As in, yeah, I went in for my 100,000 mile check up, as you would for a car.  I had this long list of tiny things like a car would need a bunch of squeaks and rattles checked out. 

 

Awesome job in the resolutions list, most notably in making a list that's doable.  Figuring out realistic goals is always hardest for me. 

post #212 of 267
That makes sense. My car runs in kilometers, so even the 100,000 mile check up is "foreign". My volkswagen dealer in Oregon had a bit of a fit every time I brought it in because of the need to do conversion for timing on routine maintenance. I found a mechanic who was better at math.
post #213 of 267
I had written a post yesterday but it got lost.

Geo- I hope your foot heals fast and that you can once again enjoy your rp. Good job on getting a check up.

Jo- curious to see where you guys end up on vacation. Sounds interesting. Nice that you are able to start your goals now, love that you don't wait for a certain date.

Gaye- i hope you feel better soon. my heart goes out to you with being away from your son on the holiday. no matter how many times hou do it , im sure its always difficult. thanks for the input on the orthotics. Question-do you wear them just for running or all the time?

Real- sorry to hear your niece is sick again and hope she heals fast.

Melw-you've had some tough times this week, I hope you were able to enjoy sledding!

RR: ran 8 yesterday and 6.5 today. I used my orthotics to run in today and they felt fantastic!

NRR: first of four Christmas celebrations today. This one at the in-laws which I love and am more comfortable with than my side of the family. Only drama is one of my BIL's is a drug addict and came over so smashed he could barely walk, couldn't have a conversation, etc. it's difficult to watch and makes dh and his other brother super mad. It's very sad. Other than that brief incident, had a great time.
post #214 of 267
Happy anniversary, Jo! flowersforyou.gif DS liked his note from Flat Stanley!

geo~Hope the hole in your foot heals quickly. I had one frozen out the day before moving from a 3rd floor apartment into our current (2nd floor) condo. XH was not amused. orngtongue.gif The good news is that was almost 10 years ago and it hasn't come back!

rm~I don't wear mine all the time. I actually think that they were contributing to my plantar fascitis (after it got started off by something else, who knows what), but now that the PF is calmed down, they're fine again. I kind of wonder sometimes if I really need them, but I've been wearing them so long that I'm afraid to try without them. I have switched shoes (from my beloved adrenalines to the much more minimalist--but still support-Pure Cadence), and that really seemed to do the trick in getting my PF to go (mostly) away.

Well, the crud is still lingering, but not too terrible. I ended up sleeping in yesterday (almost 11 hours, sheesh!) and skipping spin class or any other type of workout. I planned a girls' night out last night to the Van Gogh exhibit at the art museum and then out to dinner, and it was a lot of fun. Of course, the girl that I was supposed to ski with today got in a text-fight with her boyfriend at dinner rolleyes.gif and ended up bailing on me for skiing, so I was left scrambling to find someone to ski with at 10pm on Friday night. I love her dearly, but she tends to be very dramatic in her relationships (which is probably why she's on her 5th or 6th boyfriend in the two years that I've known her). Sigh. Fortunately, some quick texting led to a meet-up with two good friends who I haven't seen in far too long, and we had a lovely day skiing. They really are two of my favorite people to ski with, they're great company on the lift (and in the bar!) and they're great skiiers who challenge me to keep up with them. The weather was perfect, the snow was decent for what we've had, and the bacon bloody marys were phenomenal! orngbiggrin.gif

rr~Um, skiing for a couple of hours? I guess that kind of counts? Tomorrow, I WILL make it to the Y! And then get geared up to clean and do laundry and start packing before my three night shifts...
post #215 of 267
Gaye-do you put your orthotics in your Brooks Pure Cadence? I have that shoe and haven't tried that yet, but think I need my orthotics back to help with all my issues.
post #216 of 267

Geo, I hope your foot heals quickly.

 

tjsmama - skiing sounds like fun!

 

jo - good for you to start W30 again. It was so good for you last year. I hope the yucky part passes fast for you!

 

runningmommy -  that is a lot of Christmas celebrations! I hope they are all fun love.gif

 

Mel - I hope you are feeling better after that nasty bug.

 

Sounds like there is lots of cookie making going on in Dingo land! I was going to make cookies with dd this afternoon but couldn't find the recipe and so we made peppermint popcorn bark instead. That is some seriously yummy stuff - popcorn tossed with melted white chocolate and crushed candy canes. We seem to have an awful lot of sweets around the house right now so I am not worrying about doing much more baking but I will make some of the special cookies for dessert on Tuesday. Probably some peppermint bark too. Can you tell that chocolate and peppermint is one of my favourite flavour combinations? Right up there with lemon and garlic smile.gif

 

All of my Christmas prep is done, I just have to clean out the fridge to make room for the turkey to start thawing tonight. That should leave the next couple of days for knitting and hanging out with my kids. I think having lots of knitting will keep me sane - and warm. h wants us to be using the woodstove more and spending less on heating. It is tricky because the older I get, the more the firewood in the house triggers my asthma and dd1's skin reacts to the heat badly and she hates it when the fire is lit - but it is a lot cheaper. He asked me to program the thermostat for 16C in the day and 15C at night. I always feel the cold intensely so I think I am just going to have to double up on the use of my inhalers and knit more to stay warm.

post #217 of 267
poppy~Yes, I put the orthotics in the pure cadence. I'm too afraid of going without to go minimal AND orthotic-less, lol. I did do the mud run this summer without my orthotics because I didn't want to ruin them in the mud, and it was fine, but that was a very slow 5k...

shanti~That is COLD. cold.gif I can barely handle having my thermostat set at 20C (and yes, I had to google a conversion for that biglaugh.gif)

New discovery: Chai with Bailey's in it. Mmm.
post #218 of 267
Good morning, Dingos! I am in a much better place emotionally than I was when I last posted (AF arrived ,so that might have been part of the issue...). Thank you all so much for your kind words of support. My eating has been totally off the rails since mid- October, so I know that contributes to my negativity as well. Jo, I also have another Whole30 (60? 90?) on tap starting in January. A good reset for the new year.

Tjsmama - do you like the Pure Cadence? I asked for a pair for Christmas orngbiggrin.gif.

Shanti - crap, that's cold!

RR - no idea what, but I am definitely getting out for something today. I dragged my road bike down to the basement and need to mount it on the trainer too.

NRR - DH took all three kids out shopping yesterday from about 1:00-6:00, so I got most of my wrapping done, baking finished, and stocked up on groceries at the commissary. I am officially ready for Christmas! Missing my parents and siblings, as always though. This time of year I always want to move back to NH, just so I can feel that sense of family that "everyone else" seems to have for the holidays. Then I remember that my Mom drives me crazy after about 3 days!!!

ETA - just got. Call from my Mom and my Dad is back in the hospital. He passed out last night and was totally unconscious for about 20 minutes. Yikes...
Edited by JayGee - 12/23/12 at 7:58am
post #219 of 267
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shantimama View Post

Sounds like there is lots of cookie making going on in Dingo land! I was going to make cookies with dd this afternoon but couldn't find the recipe and so we made peppermint popcorn bark instead. That is some seriously yummy stuff - popcorn tossed with melted white chocolate and crushed candy canes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tjsmama View Post

New discovery: Chai with Bailey's in it. Mmm.

lurk.gif and tea6.gif yum!


Gaye- I feel like a dolt, I can't believe I hadn't tried to drop my orthotics into those shoes before. Actually I have PureFlow, not Cadence. I didn't think they had removable footbeds! So I dropped them in this morning and went for a run, felt pretty good. A tad heavier than I am used to, but not as heavy as they used to be when I had them in the Adrenalines.

Jaygee- so glad you are feeling better this morning, but oh my goodness on your dad! I hope he is doing better and it is nothing serious hug2.gif

Jo - Happy Anniversary! (aside: I worry about our girl Reb. crap.gif )

Shanti - that is cold! Brr. I am glad you have knitting but I wish some reasonableness (is that a word?) for you on that dh request..

MelW - congrats on your list completion from 2012! sounds like a good start to next year's list.

Time to make some pickles and clean house. It's miserable weather here in the bay area, great for staying inside, knitting and reading books...but that won't get the house clean. sleepytime.gif
post #220 of 267
Jaygee-I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. I posted to you in the one that got lost and then forgot to add to the "re-do". I was going to say that the lofty's reply was great, and since then so are the other dingo replies. Hugs mama!
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