"Simply" Catholic Mamas in the Year of Faith

[JMJ]

This is a support thread for mothers who are attempting to accept, understand, and live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. It was formerly the "traditional Catholic" thread. "Simply Catholicism" is a term from Cardinal George (former president of the USCCB), used to try to get away from Liberal/Conservative political terms, because the Church is not about politics. It is about faith. We are not some subset of Catholicism (though some may view us as such), but "simply" those who embrace Catholicism in its entirety.

Happy New Year, Catholic Mamas!

I am so excited about Advent this year with my oldest now 3 and really beginning to grasp some of the great theological ideas I am telling her about. I find myself telling her every day about things she couldn't possibly fully understand yet, but she tries, and she's putting things together and asking amazing questions. Blessed Advent to you all!

[mt_gooseberry]

Yay, Advent!  This year is going to be a big one for us.  We are trying to get our marriage convalidated, which will include DH getting an annulment.  I'm not looking forward to the wait, but our marriage is really suffering under this cloud of invalidity, and I'm tired of us being the only people in the congregation that stay kneeling while every one else goes up for Communion!  (Really?  Father complains that not enough people come for Confession but every single one of you is able to receive?  We are the ONLY ones who should be refraining?  I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about that as I'm kneeling there, but those thoughts tend to sneak in....)

DH and I have reeeaaallllyyy been struggling.  I'm convinced part of the problems is that we lack the grace that comes with a Sacramental Marriage, not to mention not being able to receive our Lord.  Another issue is that DH is not catechized, and has a very secular mindset.  He doesn't understand why we have to use NFP, he's not sure he wants more kids, etc.  The obvious solution to this would be for me to explain stuff, but there is the problem of our language barrier...his English and my Spanish aren't quite good enough to get into such deep topics, and we are not in an area where Spanish materials are readily available.

Anyway....

[sarahsmiles]

Happy New Year, everyone!

I am so happy right now with the start of the new year. DH came to Mass with me and the kids a few weeks ago and it went so well. I had been telling him for YEARS that a "normal" Mass would be so much better than Christmas and Easter. I also took just the kids yesterday, and while 3 year old DS was a bit more rambunctious than I would have liked, I don't think it went too badly. 6 year old DD is definitely interested in trying to be more adult-like at Mass. I want to spring for Magnifikids for her but it seems so expensive, and her reading is still limited. Not sure it would help. But she was doodling yesterday during the readings and drew a picture of the crucifix, so that was awesome! I know I should have been doing this every week and setting the example, but there's a part of me that just couldn't do it, so having the kids be older now definitely makes a difference.

I'm also committed to trying ... something ... different in my life. I keep avoiding confession because it still seems so scary to me. I need to make an appointment, I think, to talk with a priest and get a refresher since it's been years now since I went through RCIA.

I am also struggling with the issue of more children. I'm 42 now and DH does not think we can handle more kids at our age, but I feel like there's another child for us somewhere. DH is VERY conservative with NFP (not that I have a problem with that) but it's very unlikely we'll have an "oops," and there's part of me (a bigger part some days) that is GLAD to not have a baby, and to watch my kids growing up and know that a new stage of parenthood awaits us. I just would like to be at peace with respecting my husband's decision. I'm GLAD he is so firm, because I keep wobbling, actually. But so hard ...

Anyway, blessing to all of you this Advent!

[mylilmonkeys]

Hi Ladies,  I'm helping ds with homework, so no time for a long post.  But I wanted to check in and sub.  I'm excited for the both of you taking steps to be more cohesive in your faith and family life.  Don't feel scared by confession.  It's so nice to feel cleansed afterwards.  My best confessions seem to happen when I go through an examination of conscience and write down what I need to confess on a note card.  I've also written down the necessary words and prayers (act of contrition, especially) for my dh, who really hates confession. LOL  It helps to be prepared.   If you have an apple device, I know my dh found a nice app to walk through confession with an examination (but it is very lengthy) and the prayers and everything.  But there is no place to highlight or write down what you need to confess.  Just destroy your notes after the fact.  

[countryangels]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

This is a support thread for mothers who are attempting to accept, understand, and live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. It was formerly the "traditional Catholic" thread. "Simply Catholicism" is a term from Cardinal George (former president of the USCCB), used to try to get away from Liberal/Conservative political terms, because the Church is not about politics. It is about faith. We are not some subset of Catholicism (though some may view us as such), but "simply" those who embrace Catholicism in its entirety.

Happy New Year, Catholic Mamas!

I am so excited about Advent this year with my oldest now 3 and really beginning to grasp some of the great theological ideas I am telling her about. I find myself telling her every day about things she couldn't possibly fully understand yet, but she tries, and she's putting things together and asking amazing questions. Blessed Advent to you all!

Thank you, Blessings

[theboysmama]

Thank you for starting the new thread!!!

Looking forward to the feast of st. Nicholas tomorrow!!!

Dh is really struggling in his faith journey and in turn our marriage is suffering. We have started attending the byzantine church which has helped in a lot of ways but in others not so much. It requires us to be active in the parish and commited in a way that we never had to be before which I am thriving with and dh is stuggling.

[JMJ]

mt_gooseberry, in looking around some of my favorite pro-life/NFP sites for Spanish materials, I found this: http://onemoresoul.com/featured/why-contraception-matters.html and this: http://onemoresoul.com/news-commentary/porque-importa-la-anticoncepcion.html - the same great talk in English and Spanish. You can also get the audio for a nominal fee for the Spanish or free for the English. Dr. Patton really lays it all out, and even if your DH doesn't want to read it, having both versions side by side could help give you the words in Spanish and him the words in English to talk about it. Just an idea. I'll pass along any other resources I can find. Priests for Life's website is currently down, and I wonder if they have some other good resources. Definitely praying for you both that you could come back to the Sacraments.

Sarahsmiles, praying for you this Advent as well. What better way to prepare your heart for Christmas than by going to Confession! It is a Sacrament of healing, and while it's humbling to admit your sins, I've never come out of Confession being sorry I went in. Priests tend to be very excited when people come in after years of being burdened by sin, and they're more than willing to walk you through the process. Many confessionals come equipped with a "cheat sheet" of sorts, at least with an Act of Contrition on it. Scheduling an appointment is not difficult either. My pastor has joked to me that he hears more confessions in his office than in the confessional because appointments just work better for many people.

theboysmama, I'm glad to hear that the Byzantine church is helping in some ways. I will continue to pray for you and your marriage.

I could also use prayers. Our family is going through some intense discernment right now, and both DH and I have felt in our prayers that something is coming in this year of faith.... like maybe next week. At least, next week is when we know if the health insurance issue is going to mean that my DH doesn't have a job come January.... God has a plan. Sometimes, I'm excited. Other times, I'm afraid.

[mt_gooseberry]

Oh, thank you so much for those resources, JMJ!  I've looked around but haven't been able to find anything that good.  And I will be praying for you (and for everyone else!).  That darn health insurance...we don't even have any.  It isn't provided through DH's job, and it is waaay too expensive to buy privately.  I don't know why the government thought that penalizing us for not being able to afford it was a good idea.  The whole...snafu...just makes me sick.  

[glassesgirlnj]

Hello there!  I was raised Catholic, but have not really identified as "traditional" up till now, though a good friend of mine does.  However, we had our daughter baptized this year, and we're planning our own convalidation (I'd like to hear about mt_gooseberry's plans for hers!), and we're gradually starting to become more involved in the faith community.

My spouse and daughter are enrolled in a program called Making Music, Praying Twice.  They seem to really be enjoying it, even though our daughter is only a year old!  Does anyone else have this program in her own parish?  (If you do, and you can't stand it, you can tell me that too.)   ;) 

Hope you're all having an enriching Advent season.

[JMJ]

As far as health care is concerned, we're looking into Christian healthshares and leaning towards Samaritan Ministries. I love that home birth is covered with your personal responsibility waived because of how much money it saves, and I like so much of their philosophy. Their statement of faith is problematic for Catholics, but I'm working with their chaplain to get approved under my own statement of faith.

Medi-share also has a problematic statement of faith (complete with the words "faith alone"), but they recently voted to change their statement of faith to work for Catholics. It just hasn't happened yet. They operate more like insurance with a deductible and copays. Both Samaritan Ministries and Medi-share are exempt from the health care reform laws and count in the mandate to buy.

I keep hoping and praying for Solidarity....

Honestly, our issue is more about the fact that we will do every single thing in our power to keep from being involved in paying for somebody to damage their marriage and kill their pre-born children.

glassesgirlnj, welcome! We are just switching to Making Music Praying Twice for our music curriculum starting next year. Having previously used a very scientifically designed secular program, I am looking forward to more Catholic songs but going to miss some of the variety of the other program (we'll add it in some on our own). We're getting it and using it for our own homeschool program rather than taking it as a class, and we'll just be getting together with a couple other families... 9 kids total, so a pretty good sized class. I think it's a good combination of music, though I wouldn't mind a bit more chant... ;-)

[countryangels]

Originally Posted by JMJ 

As far as health care is concerned, we're looking into Christian healthshares and leaning towards Samaritan Ministries. I love that home birth is covered with your personal responsibility waived because of how much money it saves, and I like so much of their philosophy. Their statement of faith is problematic for Catholics, but I'm working with their chaplain to get approved under my own statement of faith.

Medi-share also has a problematic statement of faith (complete with the words "faith alone"), but they recently voted to change their statement of faith to work for Catholics. It just hasn't happened yet. They operate more like insurance with a deductible and copays. Both Samaritan Ministries and Medi-share are exempt from the health care reform laws and count in the mandate to buy.

I keep hoping and praying for Solidarity....

Honestly, our issue is more about the fact that we will do every single thing in our power to keep from being involved in paying for somebody to damage their marriage and kill their pre-born children.

glassesgirlnj, welcome! We are just switching to Making Music Praying Twice for our music curriculum starting next year. Having previously used a very scientifically designed secular program, I am looking forward to more Catholic songs but going to miss some of the variety of the other program (we'll add it in some on our own). We're getting it and using it for our own homeschool program rather than taking it as a class, and we'll just be getting together with a couple other families... 9 kids total, so a pretty good sized class. I think it's a good combination of music, though I wouldn't mind a bit more chant... ;-)

[happyblessedmama]

Just subbing and saying hello!

[RoseSweetie]

Wow! I'm so glad to find this thread. It is really nice to know that there are faithful Catholics on this website.

I'm pregnant with my second and we would like to employ a doula this time. I'm hoping to find one with a similar spirituality and avoid a doula who embraces a lot of the "New Age" movement. The saddest thing I have found so far is that I once "googled" "Catholic doula" and the search came up with a lot of news articles about the "abortion doula" in NYC who is controversial because she was employed by a Catholic university in NY. 

We have 8 months to search...please pray for our search if you could.

[glassesgirlnj]

I will try to pray and wish you good luck in your search! 

I think it took me three full months of emails, phone calls and in-person interviews before I signed a doula contract (and I wasn't even specifically looking for a Catholic doula!!)  So I know it can be very challenging. 

Are there other things you'd be willing to compromise on, to make it more likely that you can get a doula of similar faith?  (This is probably a very bad analogy... but I started out looking for a doula who'd be willing to drive me to and from the hospital when the time came.  As it turned out, I went with one who just agreed to transport me, the baby and the carseat home afterwards. But she was great in a lot of other ways I couldn't have anticipated!)

[mariamagdalena]

Is it okay if I jump in here?  I'm not Catholic and I have a long road ahead of me, but I am starting the RCIA classes.

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by mariamagdalena 

Is it okay if I jump in here?  I'm not Catholic and I have a long road ahead of me, but I am starting the RCIA classes.

Welcome! And prayers for the journey. This can be a great place to explore ideas that you may be struggling with. We're glad to have you.

[mariamagdalena]

Thank you so much.  I really appreciate it.  I'm sure things will come up, but so far it's just been a breath of fresh air.
 

[mariamagdalena]

I got some good news from the Deacon today.  It looks like, while there are stumbling blocks there aren't anywhere near as many as we thought.  I feel so much lighter as a result.  Sometimes it's hard to remind myself to step back and allow God to work. 
 

[mt_gooseberry]

Still trying to get the stuff for DH's annulment done.  He is dragging his feet and it is making me angry.  We could have been done with this months ago!  

In other news, I've really been feeling the need to get the Word out...but I'm a coward and don't want to lose friends/family.  There are several women in particular that I really love, but who have had abortions and are very defensive about "women's rights," that I am especially worried about.  What do all of you do to evangelize in sensitive situations?

[mariamagdalena]

Originally Posted by mt_gooseberry 

Still trying to get the stuff for DH's annulment done.  He is dragging his feet and it is making me angry.  We could have been done with this months ago!  

In other news, I've really been feeling the need to get the Word out...but I'm a coward and don't want to lose friends/family.  There are several women in particular that I really love, but who have had abortions and are very defensive about "women's rights," that I am especially worried about.  What do all of you do to evangelize in sensitive situations?

Oh, you're walking a similar path!  We are just getting started on the annulment process. 

As to the rest, I wish I had words of wisdom.  I know when I didn't quite have ears to hear, I appreciated the perspective of others, but if it felt judgmental I would shut down fast.  What helped me was having friends that talked to me about the beautiful parts of faith so I could come to that with an open heart.  Things that I had been rejecting before, or had been closed minded about were shown to me in a different way once my heart was open and then it all made sense.

I guess the best I have is just living your life in full view of all according to the word.  People are drawn to happiness, and to peace.  It may take time, but if they are open to following your example they will.