5th Month TTC; Please Someone Tell Me We're Normal...

[oasis84]

Hi Ladies,

Basically just looking for a little reassurance here. We're starting on our 5th month TTC #1 today and am really struggling to keep things in perspective. I know I shouldn't freak yet because there are plenty of women on this board and many others who try for much longer. But at the same time, I'm completely frustrated and starting to think something is seriously wrong, especially when it seems to come so easily (even accidentally!) to many of those around us. 

I'm 28, DH just turned 29, and as far as we know we're both in good health. I've been charting and using OPKs since we began back in August so I know for a fact we're timing things impeccably and unless the temp shift is lying, I know I'm Oing. We've been on raw prenatals/multivitamins since July and we use Pre-Seed when we BD and I do the whole thing where I lay on my back for 15 minutes afterwards (who knows if this makes any difference). We're good with our diet, too, and have cut out most processed food, sugar and many simple carbs. We're also both in great shape and regular exercisers. I've cut back on both caffeine (trading my daily cup of coffee for Earl Gray) and alcohol (although we definitely have not given this up completely). 

I guess I just need to know that other couples with similar lifestyles and ages to us have had to wait just as long but still ultimately achieved success in conceiving naturally? Is the fact that we're now on month 5 an ominous sign that something's seriously wrong? I'm really fighting the urge to run to a fertility specialist right now. I just keep thinking, what if my tubes are blocked? or what if DH's swimmers are slow or non-existent? If something like this is the culprit, I just hate putting myself through this roller coaster month after month when there would be such a slim chance of us getting prego naturally. 

This whole experience has imbued me with an incredible amount of respect for those couples who struggle for years. Your patience, strength and commitment is truly humbling. But for those of you who did it and did it au naturale -- how long did it take!?!!??!?! One more month of this and I feel like I'm going to go off the deep end!!

xx

[sere234]

Took us the magic 6th month. Hang in there, I know it is frustrating!

[oasis84]

Originally Posted by sere234 

Took us the magic 6th month. Hang in there, I know it is frustrating!

Thanks, sere -- that's exactly the type of stat I wanted to hear! Congrats on your two little ones.

[butterflygirl2271]

Are you taking any supplements at all?

[oasis84]

Originally Posted by butterflygirl2271 

Are you taking any supplements at all?

I supplement with vitamin D and 1000 mg of cod liver oil (both Carlson's so definitely not cheap). I tried Royal Jelly last month but stopped it because I suddenly got this irrational fear it was delaying my O date. I've since taken it off and on a couple time a week. I also tried Emrita Progest cream this month and I believe it might have helped me to lengthen my LP from 12 to 14 days and reduce pre-AF spotting. I'm hoping it also banishes the TEBB I've been having the last couple of months. But I'm not sure if I'll take it next month bc I really didn't like the confused feeling I got about whether or not it was the NPC or pregnancy that was delaying AF by 2 days and when I should stop using it. I didn't use that much to begin with, so I'm inclined to say the "benefits" were coincidental. I suspect a progesterone deficiency mainly bc of the spotting and TEBB but also bc AF got randomly super irregular for me last year and I went months without O'ing (DH was deployed and I was super stressed). So I think going into TTC my hormone levels where still attempting to recover. I'm pretty regular now, though, at 28-30 days. Sorry for the long answer!

[GISDiva]

Originally Posted by sere234 

Took us the magic 6th month. Hang in there, I know it is frustrating!

Us too, the first time around.  And here we are again, TTC and we're on the 5th month at age 37 and 40...so I know that patience is a virtue I struggle with every single day!  Hang in there.  Given your age and general good health, I don't think the doctors would do much right now anyway, right?

I think the thing that helped me at the time was just repeating to myself "It will happen when it happens" when those thoughts creeped into my head.  Kind of my own little meditation.  Not that I knew for sure if it *would* happen, but it redirected my thoughts at least.  

[oasis84]

Originally Posted by GISDiva 

Us too, the first time around.  And here we are again, TTC and we're on the 5th month at age 37 and 40...so I know that patience is a virtue I struggle with every single day!  Hang in there.  Given your age and general good health, I don't think the doctors would do much right now anyway, right?

I think the thing that helped me at the time was just repeating to myself "It will happen when it happens" when those thoughts creeped into my head.  Kind of my own little meditation.  Not that I knew for sure if it *would* happen, but it redirected my thoughts at least.  

Thanks, Diva. I keep trying to remind myself of that and it definitely takes some of the anxiety away. When I'm honest with myself, I don't have a compelling reason for being so impatient other than I just want a baby right now, haha. I totally wish I was one of those people who could just go with the flow and let things take their natural course without feeling so beholden to some stressful, self-imposed timeline. It helps to remind myself to just enjoy the time alone with DH, having fun and basically doing whatever we want whenever we want. But ultimately I'd love three or four children (so says the lady who's never been pregnant!) so I do feel we're a bit up against a time frame if we don't want one after the other (and I don't).

[dakipode]

Hey oasis,

I totally feel you. I think I was in the exact same frame of mind after 5 months TTC as you are and I ended up making an appt with the specialist for that reason, to keep myself sane. I figured getting things checked out and making sure all the parts were working couldn't hurt, we could start there and decide if we needed more intervention.

If you need some support I invite you to come check out the Saner TTC thread, we're on Frosty Moon right now: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1368101/a-saner-ttc-frosty-moon.

[GISDiva]

I certainly wish my conception journeys could have been more like "oops, look we're pregnant!".  It would have been a heck of a lot easier on the sanity.  Sometimes we know too much, eh?