Alright ladies, my husband and I are brand new to this game so we are unsure of what all we need and when we need it. So far this pregnancy is 11.5 weeks along. Now that we are exiting the first trimester this is definitely feeling real so we figure we had better start preparing!
I figure the essentials we need are: crib, car seat, infant rocker/swing, stroller, diapers, onsies ...
I'm leaning on you mamas who have experience. What are the must haves? What are the gimmicks?
Honestly this can be a really tough question - so much depends on you and your baby's personality. In terms of what you actually NEED? Diapers (and more diapers), some clothes, some blankets, car seat, and that's about it. Literally everything else may or may not work.
We had the crib, but DS never slept in it, although it was nice to have a safe place to put him when I needed to use the bathroom. (he loved gabbing away with the mobile). Some people get a moses basket or arm's reach cosleeper, but DS would only sleep on my chest...for a really long time. We ended up going straight to a real bed (which we still cosleep in).
Some kind of bouncy chair is nice so that there is a place to put the baby down for things like showers (I would put DS in the chair in the bathroom with a toy while I took a quick shower, because again, he would only sleep on my chest...so I couldn't do it when he was napping). And cooking. Stuff like that where you can't really hold the baby.
DS LOVED his bouncy/jumpy chair, and goodness knows I would have gone insane if I didn't have that "free" time while he jumped away, but some babies don't like them.
I loved, wearing my DS, which was good because he hated the stroller! We didn't use that much until he was older...around 18 months or so (partly because of the season).
I also like to be able to stand while changing diapers, so I want the changing table; others find that unnecessary and just change on the couch or floor. I also liked having a stink proof diaper pail that was specifically for diapers, since we go through so many...but after the first few months we didn't need it as much, so I consider that a luxury. Unless you are using cloth, then you need some place to put your dirties. I also needed some diaper "cream", but we generally just use coconut oil.
I know it's not really the point of the thread, but seriously the most important things you need for a baby, you can't buy. You need loads of patience, ability to be flexible, support, and to be able to trust your mommy instincts :)
I also want to add, that one of the best thing about being a FTM is being able to get all of the baby stuff, so I also would say, enjoy yourself, buy want you want...but don't worry about not getting everything, because chances are LO will make sure you are unprepared for SOMETHING, and most things are going to be luxuries and fun rather than needs...and that's okay.
Hey Spotty! I'm interested in this too! I was at the store the other day and picked up a few adorable onesies... and then put them back because I thought I was being a bit crazy by purchasing things this early, which started me thinking.... when SHOULD I start accumulating!?
Honestly this can be a really tough question - so much depends on you and your baby's personality.
Yup. And you will get different answers here at MDC than you would at, say, Babycenter.
Crib? Never owned one. We got a cosleeper that could have functioned as a minicrib. Neither of my two liked sleeping in it so cosleeping it was (well, still is with my toddler). If this current bub decides the cosleeper is awesome, we might later purchase a crib. (Although I will grumble about it - probably the last baby.)
If you decide to get a stroller, you need one that can recline flat if you want to use it in the newborn stage. While I love my baby carriers and would say a Moby wrap is an excellent investment for the newborn stage, I do think a stroller can come in handy. Unfortunately I've found strollers are a "you get what you pay for" thing (basically cheap ones are lousy).
I own a swing: neither of my boys liked it. My second son enjoyed a bouncy seat long enough for a meal or shower. Some people are not fans of "baby-holders" but life as a mom is all about balance. So if having a bouncy seat or swing or exersaucer so baby can be entertained and safe while you cook, eat or shower, I don't think there is shame in that. The lifestyle of moving baby from car seat to swing to bouncy seat to crib with little time in arms, well, that's not balanced. I personally feel these items are good to get used (just check that they haven't been recalled) because your baby might not like a swing but might like a bouncy seat or vice versa.
Car seat - I'd suggest taking a look at the family safety forum here at MDC. I learned a ton there and made the decision to keep my older son rearfacing until close to his 4th birthday (called extended rear facing). You definitely want to purchase a car seat before you go into labor (and install it and get it inspected - I installed my infant seat incorrectly the first time) but since there are expiration dates on seats, purchasing right now will reduce your usage window of the seat.
Diapers - Boy, that could be a super long post in and of itself. Cloth is a common choice here at MDC. And there are many, many choices within that area. If you are considering cloth, the common advice is to get a bit of everything to try out. I followed that with my first son and there were some types/brands I just didn't like or didn't fit that well. Even if you are planning on disposal diapers, it's probably best not to go out and purchase all one brand because some babies get rashy with one brand and not another, some babies leak with one brand and not others.
Clothing - A necessary item and also lots and lots of choices. One thing is you're going with cloth, some mamas don't like onsies; they prefer tees. I've preferred onsies and just size up if necessary. Also if you expect you might have a baby shower or simply have a lot of family and/or friends that will love this child, you will get lots of clothing as gifts. Since we're all having summer babies, I imagine blankets are less of a necessity than when I had my January guy. I purchased some muslin blankets for the second guy that were larger than the average receiving blankets which I really liked. I think they will come in handy for a summer baby: put diaper on baby, swaddle in muslin blanket and all set for the night.
If you are considering cloth diapers and want to try different ones there is a trial period through various shops. You will want to get them right before baby is born so you have the full trial period days to see what you think. I think you can preorder them. Here is a link
http://www.jilliansdrawers.com/products/clothdiapers/tryclothfor10/tryclothfor10
I've had my eye on a set of swaddle blankets with coordinating crib sheet. The print is gender neutral, and I love the colors as inspiration for painting the bedroom that will be this child's room someday. I'm feeling a little superstitious about buying anything at all right now though...think I'll hold off until january (well into second trimester)!
This is my 5th. but we got rid of everything after the 4th was born, so we're starting completely from scratch.
Here's my big item list
Arms Reach co-sleeper
Graco Swing/bouncer combo
Bumbo seat w/tray
Car seat w/extra base
Moby wrap, ring sling
Boppy pillow w/ extra cover
Breast pump and a few bottles
Other than that, lots of onsies, being a summer baby, my little one will more than likely live in a onsie - so they will be cute ones. :)
Here's what is on my 'must have' list for #3....
Clothes are optional for my June baby. Not that I won't have any - there will be countless gifts and grandparents hoarding cute clothes the minute they discover the gender - so I'm not feeling the need to stock up on anything. When it's warmer out, and my baby is either on me, in the sling or swaddled. Clothes are just extra laundry. :)
I know I'm missing something...but really, those are the HAVE to haves for me. A boppy is nice, as is a bouncy chair for when I want to shower alone and keep babe close. I liked having a PNP for the changing table part when they were really little, but that's quite a hefty piece of furniture just for changing diapers! I didn't use much else, really! As a general rule, the less stuff in my house, the better! Some people have acted like I'm neglectful for not setting up a nursery. Why do I need a nursery for a baby who will be rooming with me for at least a year? I had gorgeous rooms set up for my boys and they NEVER got used - seriously - never.
Must haves:
carseat ;-)
some kind of diapers (Love cloth!...we use pockets and they are cute and super easy!)
sling (the only way I could get anything done around the house or shop)
Could have done without:
swing (none of my first 4 liked it much, we may have tossed it now)
crib (never used it), glad it converted into a bed; we did use a cradle for naps in the living room during the day
cosleeper (my babes woudn't even use that- only our bed)
onsies ( i rarey used them)
Liked:
a seat/ bouncy seat to put the baby in while I shower or to play for a couple of minutes
jumparoo (2 of my 4 really liked playing in it)
exersaucer (all liked it for a few minutes or so at a time)
good swaddling blankets
Ugh! I totally forgot about the nursing pads!!! Definitely needed those! I really liked the Lanisoh(sp?) vs the store brand, they were much much more comfortable, much mroe absorband, and not weird looking under clothes. If anyone has recommendations on cloth ones, I'm all ears :)
I'll give my opinion as well.
As far as when to get things. I'd wait until you are out of the first trimester. Which you probably are by now?
Then you don't really need to buy anything until the third trimester unless you get really good deals. If you see a pack and play or one of those bed side co-sleepers you really want on craigslist or on a major deal somewhere, then you can think to get it if you have the funds handy. I'm kind of an in between person on this place. A little "crunchy" a little not when it comes to baby care.
I would want a nice baby carrier. I could never figure out a sling, so be aware that could be a challenge. I prefer soft formed carriers. I really think the beco looks great for newborn and up most likely. I have an ergo and a boba, but they only worked if I had baby swaddled and then put her in the carrier. You want one that allows skin to skin contact if you are going to breastfeed. Breastfeeding in a carrier is super convenient, especially when you are out.
I liked the my brest friend breastfeeding pillow. I could never make a boppy work because I have a long torso and I'm tall. You have to buy that one a little in advance to let it off-gas. I personally couldn't make anything else work (except a carrier) as well for support while breastfeeding, but to each their own here.
Get a good breast salve or cream for your nipples. http://inhishands.com/New-Mother-s-Healing-Salve.93 - my personal fave.
I'd want a pack n play with bassinet feature for newborn. I cannot sleep with my baby. It just never worked. I'm a light sleeper and deathly afraid of waking the baby up when it isn't time. LOL
A car seat is essential. I like bucket seats, the ones that pop in and out for the newbie stage, but start to not like them with an older baby. But, you can always just not pop out the seat once they are beyond that.
If you are going to breastfeed. I recommend cloth breastfeeding pads. The disposable ones didn't work very well for me. But, maybe you will be different. Just a personal preference. I like the ones with a PUL backing and a microfleece layer next to the skin. I have some like that with hemp as the absorbent layer. I usually had to add an extra doubler pad that was made of thick cotton that I bought off of etsy because I leak like crazy for the first 3 months of breastfeeding. I'd recommend having twice as many changed of those as feeding sessions for a day. I'd say there's typically between 8 and 12 sessions a day for a newbie.
I'd get something to swaddle baby in. I tried not swaddling and it didn't work for me. I definitely recommend swaddling. I'd do it the traditional way as most of the swaddle wrap things don't wrap the arms tight enough to do a good job. I have babies that can escape otherwise and then they wake themselves up every 15 mins. Lovely stuff. haha
Cloth diapers are something you should look into. If you don't like them, that is fine, but at least look into them so you can make an informed decision. http://jilliansdrawers.com/newtocloth
I started with paper diapers and saw a women with cloth diapers and couldn't believe how different they were than what I had imagined. She had some all in ones. It started me on my journey to part time/most of the time cloth diapering.
Then of course you need some clothes. I'd recommend onsies and sleepers. Since it's a summer baby. Get lightweight sleepers, no fleece. If you are having a baby shower, register for some of these things and see if people buy them for you first. Onsies and sleepers can be really cheap when you buy them in the multi packs. The amount you'll need will depend on the baby, but it's nice to have a lot for the first few months because they get soaked in your milk or formula from spit up, or they leak through the diaper and you need a change of clothes. But, you could start with a smaller amount and go buy some more if you think you need it.
I would want a stroller. If you have a good back though, you can just use the baby carrier until they are old enough to hold their neck up and buy a less expensive stroller that way, instead of something that reclines back or pops in the carseat. But, getting one that pops in the carseat can be nice. It'll be up to you for what you prefer.
That's all off the top of my head.
Thank you so much, dayiscoming2006. Your reply is just what I was looking for! I know each of our needs and preferences are different and I am curious to learn the variety so that it may help me make more informed decisions. I think I fall into a semi-crunchy mom so I love learning about the entire spectrum of choices. I am 13 weeks now so I am feeling the burn to start really learning learning learning. 6+ more months is still a long time but I know it will pass quickly!
I feel like the essentials are this for me (mind you I had my DD 5yrs ago and we got rid of just about everything thinking we were only going to have 1, so essentially I am starting from scratch)
1-8 different carriers- no lie, you want at least one good one. But what is a good one you say? oh it depends on so many things... best bet ask people to borrow, see if your have a local store with a sling loan program... (we have an area non-profit which let us borrow lings for free... LOVED that) Personally I liked the sleepy wrap for my premie newborn bc I am plus sized. It is a lot like a Moby but with more of a strech. However I do like the Moby as a 2nd choice. My DH liked the My Baby Nest Carrier for DD in the newborn stag. As my DD got older DH liked the Ergo and I liked my woven wrap. I am plus sized so the buckles on the ergo just made me look yucky and were uncomfortable! (I did keep my Ergo and woven wraps because they cost so much new! I got a great steal from a friend on the Ergo but paid full price for my Stoche and swore I would get every penny it was worth out of it.) We also had some of those you buy at box stores and hated them!
Diapers Really it is good to have some to start. We did cloth with DD but to be honest being a family that both of us work out of the home, I just don't see that happening this time around. People are going to want to give you diapers. Do some research on diapers, endocrine disruptors and the like since many of the main disposible brands have all kinds of chemicals in them, not to mention the enviromental effects. We loved cloth diapering but with 2 kids 5 yrs apart, working out of the home and so on, I would rather use that time and energy on doing all the other laundry 
Clothes- people love to give you clothes, even if you ask for no clothes. I found I had way too many. The bonus to having a small stash, impact on laundry. Yes you have to do the laundry more often, but you know what then there is a less likely hood of your house being eaten by laundry. For me I feel everything it about laundry. 
and if I can minimze that process awesome! For me I liked onesies and baby legs. I found sizing up with the onsie was enough even with the cloth diaper. Pants always fit my DD funny (they still do).
Boppy/Breastfriend- I had them both. I used the boppy more for my DD to sit with and the breastfriend for nursing. My DD was so tiny so it was hard to hold her. Really whenever possible I elected for nursing in bed *yawn* for some rest myself.
Playgroup- really I know it isn't something you hold, but it was so useful for me and the PP transition. people in my "real life" didn't understand the zombie life of a new mom, even if they were a mom once upon a time.
Car Seat- really it would be best to get this ahead of time so you can off gas it. If you like the bucket seat for newborns (most people do) you can see if you know anyone who you trust who has a current one they would be able to let you use for a few months until the convertible seat is practicle. I don't know, we didn't have a car seat when my DD was born, complete surprise 4+ weeks early and my dad and sister went out and got me one. It turns out she was so tiny she needed to go home in a car bed, so all that fussing for a seat LOL... Anyhow, I really liked it more once she got into the convertible seat! We did the bucket seat for awhile but I just found that people expected me to just leave her in there all the time.
Swing/bouncy seat/hoding device- sometimes you need to pee or want to take a shower. I didn't buy/get any of these new except the pack and play which was a changing table/bassinet/play yard all in one. I hardly used it was good on occasion. I imagine this time around I might want something. People gave me swings/bouncy seats or I found them at consignment sales/stores.
Leak proof water bottle- Post partum I drank so much water, it was great to have something I could toss in my bag and go without worrying if it would leak or not.
Crib?? The first few weeks you could get away with a bassinet or something (often something someone has in their house begging to find a new home since its useful life is so short. ask around, I am sure you know someone with one.) and determine if you want a crib. I found the crib to be a (can you guess where I am going) place for laundry to be stored, we never used it for my daughter- ok maybe we used it 3 times, while I peed or I don't know..... :-) this time we talked about it and we are going to wait and see.
Some kind of swaddler, blanket, burb cloth is useful. I also had a travel bassinet that I loved and was so good for trips to the beach with my family and when out buy the fire on a summer night. It had a shade and a netting for bugs. We will be getting another one of those.
Hope this
helps. good luck I am sure you will find what works for you.
Follow Mothering