Good luck, QL!
Hiding it! - Page 2
We are going to my DH's parents this weekend for family Christmas and he wants to tell. I do not. I am so apprehensive after having a MC with the last pregnancy. I'm just so worried that it is going to happen again. I don't actually mind the telling part, it's the planning ahead part that I hate. When people start talking about when the baby comes or places we can go or not go, things that will be happening in six months so we'll have to plan around the baby bump, etc - that's what I hate. Because what if I have a MC? Then all that is moot. Just ugh... We will probably end up telling and then I will be uncomfortable for the next 3 months in all conversations. Great...
We told dh's family on Boxing day, and it went well. His mom already knew, 'cause she snooped in our linen closet when she was here and found the positive test tucked into a little basket (seriously, this will give you a very good impression of the sort of person she is!). His parents were happy, and so was his sister, which was a total shock. Pleasant shock, but a shock none the less. My parents live overseas, and still haven't received their Christmas presents, which will spill the beans. I'm nervous!
Also, MIL asks me whether it was planned. I guess everyone sees it from a different perspective. (when she found out about her pregnant with the third child, she was apparently not happy at first).
Edited by porcelina - 12/28/12 at 7:37pm
Porcelina, even with an m/c, why do people think "already?" Is a kind response? Obviously your body was ready. People are seriously insensitive. Also, if your SIL thinks 3 is a lot of kids, she'd think most of the people in my family are nuts! Ha.
Anywho, big congratulations and joyful yays to all of you not getting that response elsewhere.
Crafty, thanks for the positive vibes! It's so nice to have MDC support if none in real life!
Ql-that sounds like a very nosy MIL!! And Carmen, I'm sure you had to go through a lot for this pregnancy! How ridiculous for someone to ask if planned! At first, I was going to say that maybe that person didn't know you have a SS partner, but then, why would anyone ask that anyway, regardless??
I think some people just don't know what to say, so say the first (sometimes idiotic) thing that comes to mind, hey Carmen? We use a donor, although my partner is male, so many people do not know, and some people chose to ignore (like dh's parents), but we still get some doozies from people who do know. Actually, my own sister asked me if we had been to see our donor, as though she was trying to figure out whether there had been some sort of miraculous conception (my partner is sterile). Many, many people comment on the fact that our children look like dh (not including his parents, who think our kids are the spitting image of dh's extended family), even though they mostly look a lot like me, and a little like our donor. Our donor looks nothing like dh either. He's very classically french Canadian (broad, not overly tall, bearded, some heavier features), with auburn hair and dark eyes, and sort of mid-tone skin. DH is from German/Jewish lineage, is very tall, very scrawny and very, very pasty, with blue eyes and dark hair. And yet, somehow... people just see what they look for, I think. I bet you (Carmen) and your partner get comments about your children looking like their non-genetic parent too. I think it's sort of funny, but usually attempt to keep a straight face. ;)
The in-laws just told me last night about all these beers they want me to try and how there will be lots of drinking in the evening after the kids are in bed during our visit. Oh my :/