So, as many of you know (and have been so, so supportive of me this year) DH and I lost our son to SIDS this past April. We started ttc immediately, and got pregnant with twins on the very first try. In hindsight, we were a bit hasty, but we still think this pregnancy was literally a life saving event for us. Im not sure that we could have managed this year without the excitement of these new arrivals.
That being said, DS passed while we were cosleeping, and even though I dont believe co sleeping had anything to do with his death our twins will never sleep in our bed or anywhere besides their cribs or the pack n play. We also don't intend to allow them to sleep in the same crib while we are sleeping. We've also decided that we dont plan to swaddle them while we are sleeping. DS was such a sound sleeper when he was swaddled- he'd sleep for 5-6 hours at a time. These babies will also be coming home on apnea monitors which we will at least try to use at first. (Ive heard some horror stories about the hospital monitors, so we bought some Sunza monitors which seem to me to be a lot more user friendly).
So, basically, we are going from being used to having an infant in the bed with us, nursing through the night, swaddled, to sleeping babies in their cribs, in sleep sacks but not swaddled, and getting up to nurse in a rocking chair. And since I will actually have to get my butt out of bed to feed these babies, I plan to do some pumping so that DH (or whomever) can help with nighttime feedings if need be. Lots of differences this time.
These are methods that tons of parents use, and I know their kids turn out just fine, but its not anything we've ever done before. I'm a little afraid of how hard it's going to be, aside from how hard it's going to be just to have two babies to worry about not waking up. I know it's going to be harder for me to bond with these babies than it was in the past (at least until they are a little older) and I fear that this distance at nighttime is just going to exacerbate that problem.
I'm interested in hearing from moms who didn't cosleep, did some bottle feeding at night, maybe didnt swaddle, and especially from any moms who have used apnea monitors with their infants. We have already made our decision about the sleeping arrangements, and we aren't really open to the idea of changing the plan- at least not before they are born. I've read a lot of things about how other parents do this on other forums, but Im particularly interested in finding out how moms who AP get through the night without cosleeping (or nursing, possibly).
I do plan on doing lots of babywearing in the daytime, and loads of skin to skin to be able to be close to them, but it just feels so weird to me to be planning not to have them near us at nighttime.
Was it hard to get up and nurse? Were you afraid you'd fall asleep holding them in a chair? How do you go about taking the apnea monitors on and off at night to nurse the babies without completely making them scream and cry? Did you put them back in their beds awake, or did you nurse them until they went back to sleep and then lay them back down?