any other over-35s having a long recovery? « Back to Group Discussions

[wendelberry]

I'm finding it so frustrating how long the postpartum recovery is taking this time around.  I'm (only!) 36 but it's been four and a half years since my last baby.  Seems like it's taking ages for me to get back to normal this time!  My MW says to watch the bleeding and when it gets heavier it's a sign I'm doing too much... I thought I was done with it (10 days PP) but today I stood up after nursing Baby to blood running down my legs!  Yikes!  

Guess I just have to lie down more often during the day but that's tough with three older ones.  Anyone else having these issues?  I can't imagine some of the moms in our DDC who have several little kids dealing with this-- but that was me last time around, so maybe it is just my advanced age!  :P

[Simonsez2u]

Thirty six here too.  Today makes one week since DS was born and I feel okay.  I actually got vertical yesterday for a while.  I went to get donuts with DH but had to sit because I felt faint in the shop.   Today I am feeling fairly normal.  I am still bleeding and since getting out of bed it has gotten a little heavier but not alarmingly so.  I'm not sure if age has anything to do with it because I have had all my children in my thirties. I had my DD last February and I can say that this recovery seems more painful.  I tore again into where my butt cheek starts (TMI) and I think this has a lot to do with it.  Today it does not hurt as much.  I have two other little ones, 3-1/2 and 22 months, DH has been a life saver in helping me with them and they go to daycare during the day.  I think I would be a crying in a corner if it was not for that!  It is frustrating not being able to do what you are use to doing.  I keep thinking about all the things I could be doing but then my body reminds me that maybe I should reconsider.

[wendelberry]

Thanks for sharing-- maybe I just am trying to do too much.  That's very encouraging that you just got vertical yesterday.  I've been trying to lie down for half an hour several times a day since the birth, but that's obviously not enough!  Mine are older and should be easier, but since we homeschool they are here all the time, and DD4 and DS6 are often at each other while I'm trying to feed the baby or rest.  They are just now starting to realize that this is the new normal, and DD10 goes back and forth between taking lots of responsibility (she's reading to the little ones right now and put in a load of laundry this morning) and egging them on quietly from the sidelines until they're in tears and/or screaming.  Sigh.  Thankfully that doesn't happen often, but it never happened before the birth so it's kind of a shock even though I should have expected something of the kind, I know.

Day care is starting to sound pretty good sometimes!!  

I've always bounced right back after births, out shopping on day 2, back to class on day 4, etc.  so this is wreaking havoc with my self-image!  But I guess the better part of being a strong woman at this point is making sure I get enough rest.  What an irony.

[finnegansmom]

Maybe you're anemic?  I'm well over 35 and I've never had a baby under age 34 so I don't know much about being super young postpartum but I do know being anemic will make you feel pretty crummy no matter what your age.  Also I do know for a fact the more babies I've had and breastfeed, the worse the afterpains have been and the more I've cramped/bled after nursing.  If I'm sitting down and have had a long nursing session, getting up causes quite a crime scene (or it did the first 2 weeks or so).  I'm barely bleeding now, at almost 5 weeks and no more cramping while nursing.  Try to take your prenatals and rest up....

[wendelberry]

So I looked up "controlling anemia with diet" and up came a picture of a big steak!  I could go with that!!  

I'm glad to hear from another 4th-timer that the bleeding just goes on.  I'd kind of expected it to have stopped by now, but I am beginning to see that my expectations are just off.  Thanks so much for setting me straight on that!  I really appreciate the advice, thanks for taking the time--I imagine it's at quite a premium for you!

Now off to add "big steak" to the grocery list and take a prenatal...  

[sunmamma]

Oh yes. I just had my third and just turned 39. It's been the longest recovery for me with bleeding/lochia lasting much longer than before. I too homeschool my two boys ages four and nine and so it's pretty much full tilt around here from the time the sun rises(or before!) until bed. My boys have been at Each other waaay more than ever before , too. I suppose it is just their way of transitioning. Another thing that is hard for me is as I get older i seem to need more sleep. Not happening so much these days! So my brain is having a hard time functioning! Nothing is forever. We will get back to a new equilibrium at some point! : ) ... right?!!

[heatdodge]

I'm so glad to read all this! I'm 36 and this is #3 and I've been worried that I'm still bleeding off and on at 3 wks pp. I was done at less than 2 wks with the other two. Also surprised I'm not more back into the swing of things. This was my easiest birth, my easiest baby, I've had the most help (with DH home for 1.5 wks as opposed to a couple days or a few half days) and the most sleep, but I'm still tired, irritable, and bleeding! My sister mentioned it might have something to do with my age which I thought was ridiculous - but maybe not! I agree that daycare/school is looking a little more attractive over homeschooling just at the moment. My boys are driving me crazy. Anyone else know when irritability/anger is PPD and when it's just a reaction to the situation at hand? I'm beginning to worry about this ever since my birth asst mentioned there were other symptoms of PPD besides crying a lot. And typical depression symptoms. Never thought I had it before, but now I'm wonderiing if I've had it since I started having babies 7 yrs ago, and it just progressively gotten worse with each baby?? Or if it is just normal to feel like this if you grew up in a family of girls and suddenly have only boys ( and extremely "spirited" ones at that) and are with them all day long every day?

[wendelberry]

Sunmamma, YES I am looking forward to reaching the new equilibrium someday!  We will hold that hope in our hearts!  (Feeling liturgical since it's Advent!)  

Heatdodge-- oh, I hope it's not PPD.   Motherhood is so crazy anyway.  I just finished changing three diapers in ten minutes, spilling half a gallon of hydrogen peroxide on my bed, screaming at the kids for getting at each other every time I go change the baby, and collapsing in tears with screaming baby in my arms... then the baby goes to sleep and I hear the three big kids (10,6,4) getting lunch ready and singing "Angels We Have Heard On High" together in the kitchen and feel like I should be happy about that, but I'm still all torn up inside from yelling at them and from the baby being upset.  I feel like things change too fast to adjust to.  (pardon the grammar!)

In retrospect it might have been a good idea to stock up on independent things for them to do, before the baby came.  I just didn't think of getting them anything since I know they will be inundated with Christmas gifts from their grandparents so soon.  But a nice snap-circuits set, or some new Legos or something might have been just the ticket to a calmer life right now.  Maybe I'll add a few things for them to my online order of things for DH's family (thankfully my family doesn't do gifts).  On the other hand, I'd REALLY like to simplify our life and especially clothes/toys pretty soon.  Hm, maybe I'll just make them some salt dough to make Christmas ornaments with, instead.  

(Easy postpartum salt dough:  Mix 2cups flour, 1 cup salt, 1cup water, 1T. oil.)   And maybe I should add a few drops of lavender to that to calm everyone down!!