Birth Experiences & Preparing for the Next Birth - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[maydaymom10]

spughy - I think it's great that you don't hold that against your doula, even though I'm sure it was tough. I've just started working as a doula and all of the births that I have attended have been 18+ hrs. I've managed to hang in there, but it is tough. Especially being pregnant. After my last doula client, I decided that I needed to take a break until after the baby is born. I usually have a backup that I can call, but I just feel bad leaving. 

Anyway, I got to attend a birth yesterday in the role of a midwife's assistant. I have to say it was much easier on me than the doula role, even though I was still there 12 hours. The experience was great because it was a nice reminder of what birth can be like. When I showed up I got a great surprise in that the mama turned about to be a former student-athlete that I'd worked with as an athletic trainer. What fun! The midwife had called me because she was assuming delivery would happen in the next 3-4 hours. Mama was laboring & progressing well. But, of course things change. At some point her cervix started to swell and the baby started to move back up - he went from -2 to +2 in an hour. The mama and dad were very committed in their desire to have a homebirth, and it was hard when the midwife had to start having the conversations about possible transfer due to the swelling, which she was thinking was probably due to positioning of the baby. Mama was exhausted at this point. The parents talked for awhile about their options and what they wanted to do, and just when they were about to consent to a transfer (she had actually uttered the words "I can't do this anymore") her water broke and things changed. The midwife was awesome (I'm so glad that she's also attending my birth). We got the mama into a good position and she was able to push past the swollen cervix and deliver her baby vaginally & naturally at home. The time from her water breaking to birth was less than an hour, with only about 30 minutes of pushing!! I have to admit that I was a bit jealous on that one. Her circumstances reminded me so much of my birth experience with DS, without the major tearing. It was just nice to have a reminder going into this birth that, even with our best laid plans and desires, that things change and we have have to go with the flow. I'm just going to try to do just that with this birth and enjoy everyone moment of it, especially since it will most likely be my last. I just wanted to share that. 

[writermama12]

Maydaymom, Thanks so much for posting that link!! To buy a manual on amazon is like $30, so I will certainly read the free one and soak it up. 

After the initial buzz over potentially having a HB or at least prepping for a UC in case this birth goes really fast, I have lost momentum and now feel like I want to believe I WILL have time to get to the birth center (20 min drive) and I don't feel like learning all about HB...it seems like a lot to take in, process, organize. Maybe it's just my blah mood. 

[MPsSweetie]

I love birth talk!
I feel like I've told my stories a million times, but they are so amazing to me, I love to share. I'm on my phone do it'll be condensed, lol.
#1, water broke at 6am, showered and drove 45 minutes to the hospital easily. I was complete by 3 and pushed until 6:44pm when she was finally born. I was 37, 3.
#2, I was determined not to go to the hospital until my water broke, I'd been having ctx for weeks. We watched the James Bond marathon and I dozed all day on the couch, feeling rotten. Then I felt and heard a pop. I asked dh and dd if they heard it but no, lol. I went to the toilet to see if any water came, but it was dry. Walked back in the living and dropped to my knees, full on labor. Dh told me to get in the car and when I lifted my leg water gushed everywhere! We drove 45 minutes with dd in the back, Christmas music blaring to cover my moaning. Walked into the hospital, nurse said I was only 4cm and to CALM DOWN! Then left the room. Dh lifted the sheet and caught ds1 as he flew out, no pushing on my part, 15 minutes after we got there. It was great! I fell asleep promptly, legs splayed wide open, for about 15 minutes while they cleaned me up. I was 38, 1 weeks
#3 again, ctx for weeks. I'm not going until my water breaks!! Got up at 6am after another sleepless night, took a hot shower, talked to my baby and rocked in the rocking chair with a heating pad on my back. Kids got up a little after 8, dressed them, did dds hair, woke up dh and told him maybe I was in labor. Back to the chair and he starts timing. 8 min apart. 6 min apart. Get up and stand by the table, 2 min apart. He gets the kids in the car, while I walk 10 feet to the door and have another ctx. I feel the baby come down. Rushed out to the car and we are off. Again, low moaning like crazy. The kids were silent, lol. Drive the 15 min to the hospital calling my mom and the dr who wanted to break my water and stay with me, because I go fast... the next day. When we came up the hill across from the hospital I realized I was in labor and said darn, I'm not getting an epidural, which I didn't even want!! Dh parked right in front, locked the kids in and walked me back. The nurse checked me while he went to get them, I was complete and starting pushing when he got back. At 10:12am ds2 was caught by dh and the nurse, in the caul, 9 min after arrival to the hospital. I was 38, 6 weeks.
#4, I can only wonder what will happen! But we are trying to be ready for whatever!

[scruffy too]

MPsSweetie - wow!  Great stories!!  You make it sound so easy

[MPsSweetie]

Lol. I think I just have painful ctx for so long, weeks, I can't tell when it's time. That's why I need my water to break!!
The ctx have already started, way earlier this time. :/

[happylemon]

The birth stories are great! I have been thinking about this since the thread was posted, I just have not had much time to type a lot.

My first birth was... interesting...??? I started contracting around 7pm. My contractions pretty much started out 5 min apart and stayed that way until transition (20 some odd hours later!). I was not aware that I should be timing how long they were though. We had taken Bradley classes, so I am sure it was mentioned, but it  did not sink in. They were shorter than a minute for a long time I am sure. The doctors recommendation was to go to the hospital after an hour of contractions 5 minutes apart. We waited 4 hours because I did not want to rush in. I was one centimeter, walked for an hour, no change. They sent me home with a light sleep aid, which was a blessing. I slept for 4 hours, and woke up to the same contractions 5 min apart. I had a regular OB appointment that afternoon at 4, the contractions never changed so we just waited for that. Went and found out I was still 1cm and I cried, 20 hours of consistent contractions and no change! My doctor was out of town, but his RN suggested we head to the hospital, I was seriously contemplating an epidural at that point so I could sleep for a while. Now that I have been through a few labors and transitions, looking back the contractions were not that awful, but I was not mentally prepared to labor for that long. Anyway, the RN had apparently called ahead to the hospital so they would be expecting us, which I did not know. I was not in a hurry since nothing was changing. I wanted to get some food in me since I knew there would be none once we went to the hospital. So we stopped at the store and got fried chicken (odd meal choice, but it sounded good at the time) and refrigerated cookie dough because we thought it might be nice to take them to the nurses in hopes they would be nicer to us! We got home, i ate a little and went to lay down while DH baked cookies. Maybe the food was what I needed, I got up shortly after and told DH it was time to go. It was a 15 minute drive, but it felt like forever. Looking back I was in transition but did not know it, I thought I was finally in active labor. We checked in the front desk at 7:21pm, walked back to the room, I changed, went pee, laid down so the nurse could check me and I was 6cm. She was kind to tell me how much more painful it would get and how I had many, many more hours to go. She tried hooking me to monitors, but I had to pee/poop again (she was annoyed). Dh took me to the bathroom, but I could not go. There were drops of fluid on the floor though that I assume was amniotic fluid, I think the exam may have helped things a long a bit. I laid back down, the monitors were connected, a tech was jabbing me and trying to get an IV in while the nurse was gabbing at DH across the room and making him sign all the papers we had already signed at the pre-registration appointment so i was yelling at them saying we signed it all already and I wanted my husband. I was having contractions right on top of each other  and telling DH I wanted drugs because the nurse kept saying we had a long ways to go. Then my body started pushing and I told her and she said 'no dear, you are not pushing' and I said 'hell I am not. I am pushing and can't stop'. Then she FREAKED and was yelling at me not to push and the room got really bright and 15 nurses ran in. No doctor, none present in the building, it was a medical birth center, but not a full fledged hospital. They had not called my OBs on call doc yet. There was a lot of arguing among the nurses, they were yelling at me not to push. When they made me roll on my back though the baby's heart rate dropped really low and was not recovering, they would not let me change positions though. So the nurses started yelling at me to push, but they were arguing over who would catch because none of them wanted to get in trouble. They said I need an epesiotomy, Dh and I declined and that was when they threatened to call security on DH for interfering??? they passed the scissors back and forth over me because, again, no one wanted to get in trouble. Someone cut me, I felt it and DH saw it. The baby flew out in two pushes at 7:57pm. DD was 5lbs15oz. The doctor showed up right after, pissed about the whole thing. Started stitching me up with out saying hello and kept ignoring me when I said I was not numb, I finally kicked him and he jabbed me with a needle a few times to numb me. The nurses were asking me all sorts of questions because despite the fact 15 of them were standing around watching, no one bothered to write anything down. I told them what happened and when I mentioned the episiotomy they said it never happened and refused to write it down. The doctor that showed up and my regular OB refused to change my records and said it never happened. The nurse who said I had hours and hours of pain ahead of me told me it was all my fault because the RN at the doctors office had called to say I was on my way and I did not show up for two more hours, I have no idea why that matters, she still had no clue where I was at in labor.  I had not held DD at all before the doctor started stitching me and then the nurses were thrusting her at me while I was trying to get the doctor to treat me like a human and doing the nurses job for them, it was really overwhelming. They took her right away because of the low heart tones, there was no chance for those first moments of bonding. I had severe PPD and I blame a lot of it on the hospital experience. I felt (still do) guilty over not wanting to hold her when they forced me to with all the other stress. I was afraid I would drop her or scare her because I was angry. That was pretty much the worst of it, the after care was not great, but we did get a couple good nurses. If I could go back now, I think it would be different. I would probably lock myself in the bathroom and not tell any of them I was pushing! But then I really was not clear on what my body was doing, I had no clue I was in transition, even though looking back it was so obvious. The nurse that checked us in was an overworked, cocky, witch.

We moved after this, so we had access to another hospital when I got pregnant again, but I had so much anxiety over going to the hospital that despite DH's reservations the only option for me was home birth, he was very unhappy with our first birth and he would not force me to go back to the hospital. I loved the care I got the whole pregnancy. I woke up with contractions at 2am or so Christmas morning. Tried to rest through them, could not. Paced a bit. decided to take a shower to see if they stopped. When they did not I decided to accept I was in labor and give into it. I progressed pretty fast. We wound up calling the midwife at 5am, I thing she was there around 6 or so. My Mom showed up around the same time to be with DD when she woke up.  I really just let go and went with it all. I was complete around 7am and we all thought it was going to keep going fast and we could all enjoy a Christmas breakfast! The baby was not in a good position though and I started pushing before I had the urge. we changed positions and did all sorts of things, but she would not budge, at all. After three hours of pushing I was spent and frustrated because she did not move at all and she was on top of my pubic bone and it hurt so bad. I wanted to go to the hospital and get knocked out! My midwife suggested we break my water. She had never broken a clients water before, but she knew it was the first thing they would do in the hospital so I agreed. The baby was well engaged and not moving, so we did not think cord prolapse would be an issue. As soon as she broke my water I felt the baby drop much lower! I still pushed for about 40 min, but I could feel her moving each time, which made a huge difference. She had a brow presentation, which made it harder and she was 9lb4oz with a big head, but I did not tear (sort makes me want to punch the nurses that cut me before even more). She was born a little before noon. This birth was MUCH better, but if it had not been Christmas Day I think we would have been a little more patient, maybe I would have tried to nap instead of push with no urge when DD was not budging at all.

Third baby I changed midwives, mostly because the one I had moved. I am glad things worked out that way, I love this midwife. She is great, but a little more hands off than my previous midwife, which it turns out I really like! I woke up early in the morning again with contractions, not sure the exact time, but probably around 4. Rested a bit, then did the same pace and shower routine. Seems pretty typical for me though that once i see the bloody show I can be certain that I am really in labor. DD1 was in kindergarten, Dh stayed home from work. We still had our normal morning routine, DH took DD1 to school and took DD2 along for the ride. When he got home we walked to the corner store to get him a coffee. My contractions slowed a lot with the activity. I decided to nap when we got home. My Mom got DD1 from school and when they got home labor stopped! It was 11:45. We got DD's homework done, then my Mom and sister took the girls to lunch and back to my Mom's house. I ate lunch when they left, but labor picked right up and intensified right when they left and I could not eat a whole lot. called the midwife, but told her we would call back again when things seemed to change. We did not wait long to call her though. Things were moving along good, but ironically, my midwife had missed two other births right in my neighborhood in the last year and told her I could not give in until I knew she was going to make it. She headed over, but her assistant got there first, took my vitals and checked heart tones and then set up the birth tub. The midwife got there right before 2pm (as close as I can remember). Things kept going, they slowed a bit when I got in the tub, but then picked back up. I was in the tub for the rest of labor. At one point, even though I did not have the uncontrollable urge to push like I remember with DD1, i found that the contractions felt better when I bared down a little. After a few contractions like this my water broke and the pushing stage came on really fast. I told myself the whole pregnancy I would relax and 'breath the baby out', but as soon as i felt the pressure and stretching I semi panicked and just started pushing to get it over with! DD3 came out with her hand by her face but my midwife was able to guide her arm a bit so I did not tear. She was 8lb1oz (weighted after she had 4 massive poos). She was born close to 4:30pm, It was a good birth, I think I will go for the tub again.

The only thing I would change this time is to try to relax a little more in the pushing stage and not force it so much. I am using the same midwife as DD3 and she has the same assistant and I love both of them. They said they are encouraging Mom's to catch their own babies more which I am excited about. I hope my early labor and transition goes as well and smoothly as it has in the past, but I know each labor can be totally different. I am a little anxious because this baby seems to be more on the same growth curve as DD2, so will likely be bigger, I just hope we can get baby in a better position with a nice flexed head and no hands coming out with the head! This time I am a little more worried about the older kids too. My Mom has taken them in the past, but three is a bit more to ask her to take on and she has been really busy and not really around much. It would be great to start laboring in the afternoon, get the kids to bed, let things pick up and then have the baby in time to get some rest before they get up for the day... that may be asking too much though! I kind of want DH in the tub with me too, but he is not crazy about the idea! I might have to bully him into it when I am in labor and he can't say no! Also, i had my placenta encapsulated last time and I am SOOOOO doing it again! Best things ever. While I did not have PPD with my second like the first, more like baby blues, the placenta made everything tea cups and daisies last time. Can't say enough good things about it.

[Chapsie]

Wow, Sarah, your first birth was interesting!  So glad to hear that things got progressively better with each babe... and praying for a nice Occiput Anterior presentation with flexed head and no nuchal arms this time!!!!  :)

AFM--  My first birth was pretty much the opposite of what I wanted and envisioned.  I was a brand new nurse and had just finished an extended preceptorship on a busy L&D unit.  I had seen about 100 births in person and thought I was prepared.  I knew I wanted a natural birth.  I had read a ton of research articles and went to natural birth classes.  My plan was to stay at home, labor as long as I could, and just head to the hospital to push him out!

Well.. at 40 weeks and 4 days, I was sent to fetal testing for a BPP and NST.  Everything looked great, but they couldn't get a good reading of my amniotic fluid level.  My AFI was 4, and normal is I think 6-18, right?   So I was labeled as high risk with oligohydramnios.  Now, I know that isolated oligo in a healthy  term pregnancy is NOT a good reason to induce.  They wanted an immediate induction... I DID NOT WANT THIS.  This was in 2008, before I had a smart phone so I couldn't google anything!  I begged them to let me go home and take a shower, get my hospital bag, and do some research before being induced, but they said "No, we are escorting you to L&D now for immediate induction.  If anything happens to your baby, you'll never forgive yourself."  I asked if I could sign out against medical advice (I wasn't even admitted yet, so I really didn't even need to "sign out" but I didn't know this) and I was told "If you sign out AMA, your insurance won't cover the birth".

I felt so manipulated.  They hit me in two places-- finances (which were TIGHT back then) and baby's safety.  I felt my hands were tied.  I was so upset to feel that all control over my birth was stripped away before labor had even started!

So I was given cervidil (I had a very unfavorable cervix-- closed thick and high) and then pit the next morning.  Surprisingly, I was making good progress.  In 4 hours, I was 4 cm and my water broke.  At this point, things got A LOT more intense and I practically begged for an epidural (not something I was planning on).  I felt like I had no choice-- I literally couldn't breathe during contractions they were so intense.  I got an epidural (which is a story in itself-- it took 45 minutes because the first try caused heart pounding, ringing in my ears, and a metal taste in my mouth so they had to redo it.  I still have back pain 4.5 years later from where the epidural catheter was.)

They checked me an hour after the epidural was placed... I was FULLY dilated!!!!  That pit is strong stuff... I feel like it literally ripped my cervix open.  It took 6 hours on pit for a first time mom with unfavorable cervix to fully dilate (it took 12 hours in my natural labor.  Big difference in contraction intensity!).

I couldn't feel anything below the waist, so I asked if we could let the baby passively descend for a bit before I tried pushing.  Change of shift at 7pm, and a new nurse came in as a drill sargeant and made me start pushing.  I asked if I could push on my side and she said "no, we're doing things my way."  Again... feeling control over my body strip away.  I pushed flat on my back while pulling on a bedsheet up and over a birth bar for 3 hours.  I was exhausted, had horrible heartburn, and was losing hope.  My baby had turned from OA to OP after I got the epidural.  This is why he was getting stuck.  

After 3 hours, it was decided to use a vacuum... the attending examined me (my labor was managed by a midwife to this point) and said the baby was OP and he tried manually rotating his head... then fresh meconium and decels.   It was decided: emergency cesarean.  

The c-sec itself was awful in large part due to a very inconsiderate and rude anesthesiologist (won't get into details, but it was a horrible experience).  I suffered from PPD after this birth and had a hard time with bonding.  Thank God for successful breastfeeding, that is what helped me bond with my beautiful son!   I had nightmares about the c-sec for months.  

So... my second baby, I knew I wanted to VBAC.  I met with an OB at my group at 28 weeks pregnant and told her my plans to VBAC.  She pretty much said "no way" and was really nasty about it.  I left the office with no intention of ever coming back and switched to a midwife group.  

I used Hypnobabies to prepare for a natural birth.

The day before my DD was born, a sonogram estimated she was 10 lb 5 oz and everyone freaked out.  I was scheduled for a repeat c/s for that Monday.  I cried and cried and prayed and prayed to go into labor ( I was 7 days "overdue" at this point).  

In other news, at 39 weeks pregnant, our house had been burglarized in the middle of the night when we were home sleeping.  Because pregnant women don't sleep well (haha) I woke up and heard noises in the living room and went to investigate.  I saw a man crouched in the corner of our room with our laptop computer and digital camera.  All rationality left my brain as I yelled at him "What are you doing in my house???!"  and screaming for my husband to wake up.  The burglar pushed me out of the way (I was standing in front of the open window he used to get in) and I jumped forward and grabbed onto his T-Shirt to keep him from escaping.  My thought was that DH would wake up soon and help me apprehend the guy and save our stuff. Well... my DH is a heavy sleeper, haha!  I was screaming my head off while struggling with the guy and eventually his T-shirt ripped in my hands and he got away.  Finally... DH was awake.  To make a long story short, we called 911 and miraculously, the police caught the guy a few days later.  We got our stuff back, but I was SUPER shaken up about the whole thing and declared that we were moving as soon as possible out of the city and into a suburb.  We started looking at houses online and looked at three houses that week and signed offer papers the morning I went into labor!  

Saturday afternoon... began contracting.  Didn't know if it was "it" or not, because I had been having contractions all week long, sometimes for hours at a time.  But.. by 9pm, I was sure this was "it!"  I labored at home using hypnobabies and was quite comfortable, but got very very tired.  I labored for 2 hours in the shower and the warm water on my low back was heavenly.  When I got out of the shower, I felt my baby move from OP to OA and down into my pelvis.  AMAZING!  By 3am, I told DH we had to head to the hospital.  I was so tired and was desperate to see how much longer I'd be in labor.  It had only been about 12 hours, too... so I am amazed with all you ladies who have longer labors!   

I got to the hospital and was super quiet.  The nurse was so surprised that I had contractions so close together (they were 2 min apart, a minute long) because I was so calm.  The midwife checked me at 4am and I was 9.5 cm!  They were amazed: "You have the demeanor of a mom at 2cm.  I thought you were 5cm at the most, but 9.5-- good job!" 

I was thrilled.  45 minutes of super amazing pushing (it is WAY more satisfying to push when you can feel everything!  Way more effective than epidural pushing) and then the infamous ring of fire.  This was the only part of labor where I got really noisy and yelled: "this hurts!"   Otherwise, I have to say Hypnobabies was AMAZING at helping me stay comfortable and relaxed.  

My baby girl was born at 5:48 AM... 9 lb 7.8 oz with a 14.5" head and 15" belly!  Only a tiny first degree tear.  I credit my patient midwife and hypnobabies for the slow, controlled pushing.  My natural VBAC was the most satisfying experience of my life.  I posted this before, but I'll post again:  

We got a call from our realtor that the house we bid on was ours only 4 hours after my DD was born!  New house, new baby in 4 hours!  WOO!   I was subpoenaed (sp?) to testify in court against the burglar when my DD was only 4 days old!  That was horrendous.  They wouldn't let me bring her into the courtroom with me.  Yuck.  (city court was not the place I imagined for my baby's first outing!) The only downside to an otherwise blissful time in my life!

The next year... I gave birth to my miscarried baby at 12 weeks at home (they discharged me from the ER and didn't really tell me what to expect).  it was really an intense birth-- I found the contractions more intense than during my VBAC which was really surprising to me.  and then after he was born, I hemorrhaged, losing 2.5 liters of blood (about half my blood volume) and was rushed back to the ER in hypovolemic shock for emergency transfusions and surgery and a host of other nasty procedures.  It was a very traumatic experience with lots of complications during recovery.  I then miscarried again at 6 weeks 4 months later. I fell into a deep grieving depression and it took a long time to heal.   

I am so excited to birth my rainbow baby.  We are planning a peaceful home waterbirth with a loving midwife.  I am grateful to God for his faithfulness in first of all allowing me to survive the hemorrhage and then to also have the privilege of carrying another baby.

One thing I learned through all of my experiences is that retaining control over my care is REALLY important.  I need to be an active participant in the decisions made about my body and my babies.  I have learned so much in the past few years-- how to advocate for myself and make informed decisions.  My experiences-- good and bad, have helped shape my expectations and perspectives and have really made me a more compassionate friend and nurse.   

much love to all of you!  Thanks for letting me share a bit more personally.~~   Sorry for such a long post!

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by MPsSweetie 

I love birth talk!
I feel like I've told my stories a million times, but they are so amazing to me, I love to share. I'm on my phone do it'll be condensed, lol.
#1, water broke at 6am, showered and drove 45 minutes to the hospital easily. I was complete by 3 and pushed until 6:44pm when she was finally born. I was 37, 3.
#2, I was determined not to go to the hospital until my water broke, I'd been having ctx for weeks. We watched the James Bond marathon and I dozed all day on the couch, feeling rotten. Then I felt and heard a pop. I asked dh and dd if they heard it but no, lol. I went to the toilet to see if any water came, but it was dry. Walked back in the living and dropped to my knees, full on labor. Dh told me to get in the car and when I lifted my leg water gushed everywhere! We drove 45 minutes with dd in the back, Christmas music blaring to cover my moaning. Walked into the hospital, nurse said I was only 4cm and to CALM DOWN! Then left the room. Dh lifted the sheet and caught ds1 as he flew out, no pushing on my part, 15 minutes after we got there. It was great! I fell asleep promptly, legs splayed wide open, for about 15 minutes while they cleaned me up. I was 38, 1 weeks
#3 again, ctx for weeks. I'm not going until my water breaks!! Got up at 6am after another sleepless night, took a hot shower, talked to my baby and rocked in the rocking chair with a heating pad on my back. Kids got up a little after 8, dressed them, did dds hair, woke up dh and told him maybe I was in labor. Back to the chair and he starts timing. 8 min apart. 6 min apart. Get up and stand by the table, 2 min apart. He gets the kids in the car, while I walk 10 feet to the door and have another ctx. I feel the baby come down. Rushed out to the car and we are off. Again, low moaning like crazy. The kids were silent, lol. Drive the 15 min to the hospital calling my mom and the dr who wanted to break my water and stay with me, because I go fast... the next day. When we came up the hill across from the hospital I realized I was in labor and said darn, I'm not getting an epidural, which I didn't even want!! Dh parked right in front, locked the kids in and walked me back. The nurse checked me while he went to get them, I was complete and starting pushing when he got back. At 10:12am ds2 was caught by dh and the nurse, in the caul, 9 min after arrival to the hospital. I was 38, 6 weeks.
#4, I can only wonder what will happen! But we are trying to be ready for whatever!

I can't believe how FAST you birth!  AMAZING!  I read your stories with my jaw dropped the whole time.  :)    I pushed for 3+ hours and 45 minutes in my births, so to hear about a baby birthing himself with no maternal pushing just blows my mind.  haha.  Love it!   Can't wait to hear your birth story with this little one!

[spughy]

Wow Chapsie your DD was a big healthy-looking baby!  I've seen a lot of newborns but yours didn't even LOOK newborn - she looked more like 4 weeks old, with her chubby cheeks and firm little tummy and arms and legs! 

I too am in awe of these fast fast births.  I have a friend who accidentally gave birth in her kitchen, with firefighters attending.   She took her older DD to playgroup - 3 or 4 blocks away, started feeling contractions and walked home and was calling 911 in about 5 minutes (her DH was at work and she'd planned a hospital birth).  The fire station is a lot closer to her house than the nearest ambulance or police so instead of pushy nurses, she got hot firefighters.  Lucky girl! I think she was in labour for less than an hour total. Fortunately she's not the type to be super-traumatized by that and took it the right way when most of the people who heard her story said "oh, I'd take that over a hospital birth any day!".   But I do know it's hard to adjust to any birth other than the one you planned - it doesn't really matter if the birth you end up with is "better" by other people's standards.  It's such a huge thing, you want it to go the way you expect.  It's like planning your wedding and then instead of your best friend's band playing the reception, a helicopter arrives with Andrea Bocelli and a 100-piece orchestra and boots her out of the way.  It's like - cool, but that was NOT what you discussed and frankly you're a bit miffed.

[Chapsie]

Hahaha, spughy, your Andrea bocelli analogy had me literally LOL. That would leave me a bit miffed.

I also have a friend who birthed super quickly... 39 min from first contraction to baby out!!! Wow!

[Chapsie]

Oh... And yeah, DD was a bit chunky, haha. My first was also 9lb 6oz... 21.75". so they've both been rather big! DD has since been a petite toddler... I'm trying to grow a smaller (but still healthy) baby this go around!

[happylemon]

One thing I learned through all of my experiences is that retaining control over my care is REALLY important.  I need to be an active participant in the decisions made about my body and my babies.  I have learned so much in the past few years-- how to advocate for myself and make informed decisions.  My experiences-- good and bad, have helped shape my expectations and perspectives and have really made me a more compassionate friend and nurse.   

I agree, at times I wish I could go back and change my first experience, but that would have not been productive for future births. Likely I would not have pursued a home birth and being due at Christmas time with a large baby would have likely meant lots of pressure for induction and C-section at the hospital. I have learned a lot about advocating for myself. It just saddens me that so many Moms have to fight the system. Birth should not be a battle ground. I would not trade my home births for anything, but i do like hearing stories of Moms who are treated well in the hospital and get the loving care they need.

[happylemon]

Oh, and thanks for sharing the video Chapsie! That was wonderful! My second was a chubby monkey too! She was so fun to cuddle!