Long story, but at 32 weeks (officially... I could be further along but who knows) I am changing from a homebirth midwife to an OB, and not because I risked out of homebirth, but because, well... I changed my mind. Am I a horrible and evil person for doing this so late in the game? Please tell me no. ;) Has anyone else had a change in plans late in the game, either in this pregnancy or another one?
Changing care providers...
Nope, you are not a terrible person. I know a handful of people who changed providers after 30 weeks for various reasons, some weren't comfortable with their first provider, etc. Good for you for knowing what you want and making the change! I always believe in trusting your mama instincts. :)
I had a birth center birth, and then an unassisted homebirth. Both were great experiences, especially the UC. But for some reason, I can't really put my finger on why, I am just not feeling homebirth with that particular midwife right now. I really don't know what it is. She's very nice, but there's just something off. My only other option is to go with the local hospital/OB practice. I'm not 100% on them either but more so them than the mw. Argh... Oh well. I'm comfortable with the decision to change. I can't guarantee that it's the perfect option, but you never can tell except in hindsight, right?
Go with your instinct. It doesn't seem fear based, it seems that you are sensing something and reacting. It doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong or off-just maybe a comfort level thing.
As an example: With our fourth I was going to do the UC thing again and all of a sudden as soon as labor got 'real' I had a feeling that I needed to call the midwife I am friends with-she showed and there was heavy meconium at the birth-she did the whole delee suction thing and my son was fine...but had we been alone I probably would have freaked and run to the hospital so it's good I 'listened' and had her there. The whole pregnancy I never had peace about a UC and while all was fine-I saved myself major distress by having her there. Instincts are a good thing :)
You are not a horrible person, as my midwife told me yesterday, "your body always talks to you, in pregnancy it screams - trust your instincts". If I was not 100% sure of my midwife I would be going to the hospital, in fact even though I am 100% sure of her I still once in a while wonder if I should just go for a repeat c-section so I don't have to worry about labor, its a dumb thought on my part but it has crossed my mind and I am just past 36 weeks.
Intuition is there for a reason! Good for you for listening to it, you won't know why you felt like you needed to change until after the birth. And maybe you won't even know then, but something is guiding you that way and it's important to listen.
I'm feeling the opposite way, I love my midwife but am kind of hoping for a UC...then she can come check on us and help clean up afterwards :) I'm really feeling like I need a peaceful and quiet birth space, but I won't really know for sure until labor hits. My midwife has 8 children, 4 of them UCs so she is very respectful of a woman wanting space if that's what she needs, so really it won't be an issue either way.
Everyone is right, you are fine and we have to listen to what is coming out. I just changed my midwife a few weeks ago. She was very nice but there was something bothering me about her from day 1, when things came up....there were just too many "well you can go to the ER" answers for non-emergencies. I am soooo glad I changed because it made me think she would do the same at the homebirth if any little thing came up.