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Do you have more than one child on the spectrum? New baby, worrying Mama...

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

My new little one is nearly 6 months already... How did this happen so fast?! 

 

I was wondering if anyone had insight or input on a nagging question in my mind. 

 

My oldest son has ASD. He is non-verbal, kind of manic, but a really happy sensory-seeking cuddly type. I was 22 when i had him and was pregnant with my second son when he was 2 months old (that was not the best period of my life, but that's another story...) who turned out to be NT, and is super intelligent and sweet. The thing is, I never had an opportunity to worry over his possible fate of being autistic too- I didn't start suspecting anything with my oldest til he was nearly born and then didn't have my son screened until my second was almost a year old. By then the contrast of their time as infants was fairly apparent- my first son had been a really 'easy' baby- went to sleep when put down, played for long periods of time without seeking attention, looked at board books forever, would rebuild the same simple puzzle over and over, wouldn't respond to his name, didn't walk til 18 mos, would gain a word then lose it, gain a word then lose it... had a 'stoic' look about him a lot. he had a love affair with ceiling fans from the time he was just a few weeks old... to this day. My second son was needy, never wanted put down, had intense seperation anxiety. And he turned out 'normal'. 

 

I am no longer with their father, and this is 7 years later... My husband and I had our new little boy (he has one other child). My whole pregnancy I didn't give a lot of thought to having another child with autism. I thought some, researched it- I know a few families with more than one child on the spectrum. I guess part of my lack of concern may have been rooted in the fact that my second child was NT, and I was with a different partner- so the potential genetic component was possibly watered down/ different. 

 

It seems as the weeks and months go by I worry more and more. I have not had an intuition about my new little one AT ALL, he is super social, hits all his milestones great, loved the ceiling fan for about a week and was over it (lol), seeks my attention constantly, etc etc- he reminds me a lot more of my second son. It's a strange and difficult place to be though. I don't want to sit around worrying his whole babyhood away, dreading any sign that might indicate to me something is up, regardless if he is NT or not. But it's hard to not sometimes. And it's hard to find much research on having more children after a child with ASD, but with a different partner... 

 

SO i was wondering how many of you have multiple children, if they are full or half-siblings, how many in your family are on the spectrum... And also if you had a second child with ASD (or first if you noticed early), how early did you start noticing them being *different*? I've heard a few moms say with their second child with ASD they could tell really early, because they had been through it before. 

 

Another question... Does anyone out there have an ASD child who was born with any other abnormalities? My oldest was born with hypospadias (slightly malformed genitals, had it corrected), a blocked tear duct, didn't get any teeth until he was well over a year old... Just curious.

 

 

Any input would be great :) Thank you so much!

post #2 of 6

I don't know if you already found the info you are needing but I am bumping this post just in case there is someone out there that can relate or have advice.

post #3 of 6
I'm in a slightly different situation, as I'm on the spectrum myself. My daughter and I are diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, and my son with Asperger's. I never noticed anything, as I hadn't been diagnosed when the kids were born. When Crash was about 3, his doctor suggested testing and I told him he was nuts. Crash was just like me. Actually, my autism is more severe than his. I am sometimes nonverbal, for example. My daughter was obviously different from day one but I didn't suspect a diagnosis. She was just a unique person. Lol. I hope to have more children but I don't worry about autism. Actually, I worry about having an NT. I worry about what kind of a parent I will be for a child I don't understand. I'm with a new partner now, too. I worry that his genetic material will overpower the autism in mine. I imagine I will be in a similar place to you, if I am blessed with any more children.
post #4 of 6

I have 9 kids. 3 from my 1st marriage all NT, 3 from my 2nd marriage all on the spectrum and 3 from fost/adopt. My Dh is also on the spectrum. All 4 of them are on different places on the spectrum. We would have just continued on thinking our older dd was "quirky" had our ds been so severe. And my dh was mis dx his whole life with other things. 

post #5 of 6

I have four kids with autism on different parts of the spectrum. there is family history my husband and I have autism. I wouldnt worry about it unless you see signs of it. if you do then take them in to get dx with it.

post #6 of 6

I have two kids on the spectrum. My eldest is Asperger's and my son is high-functioning autistic. 

 

My son's issues always overpowered my daughter's so that it was his problems that led me to consider autism. At first I thought it might be Asperger's but when I researched I realized he was not aspie but my daughter was, and that it explained many issues she was having that were less "obvious" than his. 

 

Although I'm done having children, I sometimes think it would be really lovely to have another spectrum-y kid because I would know what to do and would do it right, right from the beginning. I have some regrets about what I did or didn't do with my kids when they were younger, not appreciating what I was dealing with back then. But hey, hindsight is 20/20 right?

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