My new little one is nearly 6 months already... How did this happen so fast?!
I was wondering if anyone had insight or input on a nagging question in my mind.
My oldest son has ASD. He is non-verbal, kind of manic, but a really happy sensory-seeking cuddly type. I was 22 when i had him and was pregnant with my second son when he was 2 months old (that was not the best period of my life, but that's another story...) who turned out to be NT, and is super intelligent and sweet. The thing is, I never had an opportunity to worry over his possible fate of being autistic too- I didn't start suspecting anything with my oldest til he was nearly born and then didn't have my son screened until my second was almost a year old. By then the contrast of their time as infants was fairly apparent- my first son had been a really 'easy' baby- went to sleep when put down, played for long periods of time without seeking attention, looked at board books forever, would rebuild the same simple puzzle over and over, wouldn't respond to his name, didn't walk til 18 mos, would gain a word then lose it, gain a word then lose it... had a 'stoic' look about him a lot. he had a love affair with ceiling fans from the time he was just a few weeks old... to this day. My second son was needy, never wanted put down, had intense seperation anxiety. And he turned out 'normal'.
I am no longer with their father, and this is 7 years later... My husband and I had our new little boy (he has one other child). My whole pregnancy I didn't give a lot of thought to having another child with autism. I thought some, researched it- I know a few families with more than one child on the spectrum. I guess part of my lack of concern may have been rooted in the fact that my second child was NT, and I was with a different partner- so the potential genetic component was possibly watered down/ different.
It seems as the weeks and months go by I worry more and more. I have not had an intuition about my new little one AT ALL, he is super social, hits all his milestones great, loved the ceiling fan for about a week and was over it (lol), seeks my attention constantly, etc etc- he reminds me a lot more of my second son. It's a strange and difficult place to be though. I don't want to sit around worrying his whole babyhood away, dreading any sign that might indicate to me something is up, regardless if he is NT or not. But it's hard to not sometimes. And it's hard to find much research on having more children after a child with ASD, but with a different partner...
SO i was wondering how many of you have multiple children, if they are full or half-siblings, how many in your family are on the spectrum... And also if you had a second child with ASD (or first if you noticed early), how early did you start noticing them being *different*? I've heard a few moms say with their second child with ASD they could tell really early, because they had been through it before.
Another question... Does anyone out there have an ASD child who was born with any other abnormalities? My oldest was born with hypospadias (slightly malformed genitals, had it corrected), a blocked tear duct, didn't get any teeth until he was well over a year old... Just curious.
Any input would be great :) Thank you so much!