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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Seriously emotional days/moments. Anyone else need to vent?

Seriously emotional days/moments. Anyone else need to vent?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
If you don't want to read whining from a grown woman, go no further.

I have no patience with my kids today (stop asking me the same question I just answered!), I feel grumpy but also on the verge of weepy, my clothes dryer is broken so I'm doing tiny loads of laundry that will fit on my drying rack and take all day to dry, I'm completely non creative in the kitchen these days and cooking (which I normally enjoy) is just a huge chore, can't leave the neighborhood today because DH had to take the van.

I feel like I need to make this a TV/computer day or I'm just going to be snapping at my poor kids all day.

I think I'm going to try getting out with them for a walk and see if that helps.
Ugh, this is no fun.
post #2 of 29

***hugs***

my hubby is in california for a week.

 

i'm feeling very similar.

 

watching 'parenthood' and staying in bed til after naptime, then just making it a down day!!!

 

you're doing awesome.  and your kids know you love them.  

post #3 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by odinsmama View Post

I have no patience with my kids today (stop asking me the same question I just answered!), I feel grumpy but also on the verge of weepy, my clothes dryer is broken so I'm doing tiny loads of laundry that will fit on my drying rack and take all day to dry, I'm completely non creative in the kitchen these days and cooking (which I normally enjoy) is just a huge chore, can't leave the neighborhood today because DH had to take the van.
 

 

I've been this way for a long time and feel bad for my kids. I am just so snappy and impatient! Meals/cooking are a huge stress for me. I just can't come up with anything that sounds good or everyone will eat. A couple months ago we got a new HE washer and dryer and before that had no dryer. Hang drying clothes for six people was so not fun, I hope you get it fixed soon! 

 

I'm right there with you. The emotions are so hard to deal with! Sometimes I just want to build a little nest and spend the rest of my pregnancy in it. Undisturbed. Lol! *Hugs*

post #4 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thanks, ladies.
I got the boys set up with their workbooks for a while and then let them do math games on the computer after that. During this time I took out my aggression on clutter. Got rid of some baby stuff I know I just won't use as well as a few hideous maternity clothes. Started organizing the kids' play room and filled a whole bag with stuff to throw out, plus working on a "donate" box in there. I've also decided to ban play dough from my house forever. Gross. It's always pretty damp here and hidden little balls of play dough turn into sticky gooey messes in a drawer some where.
Finally had to quit since my sciatic was not happy with floor sitting any longer.

I forgot that taking a walk is out of the question for a while. We live right near an active volcano and when we don't have good wind blowing we get some pretty bad air quality. Supposed to get our trade winds back this weekend.

Still feeling blah but not quite so snappy.... for now anyway. ;p Hope you are coping in your own ways today.
post #5 of 29

I've been grumpy all day thinking about the next few days because my partner will be working a lot. I do SO much better when he's home for dinner/bedtime because then I get to veg out. He's working this weekend too, but only half of the day on Saturday. But then we're going to a benefit that he's DJing and then a neighbor's holiday party. Both of those should be fun and normally I'd look forward to them but it all seems really exhausting!

 

I think my 4 yr old knows when I'm in a bad mood and pushes my buttons on purpose. It's a conspiracy! I swear he's not feeding off my energy, he just has it out for me winky.gif.

 

Tonight I did a cop-out dinner of bagels and veggie dogs. And now I'm letting them stay up a little too late playing because I'M SO TIRED and don't want to deal with bath/books/songs quite yet.

post #6 of 29

I know how you feel!  This part of the pregnancy isn't fun.... I feel huge! and I'm snappy with everyone.

post #7 of 29

Yes.  I had been doing SO good  with not flipping out on my kids all the time - that was one of my main goals this pregnancy, to try to control myself and have some patience with my kids - here i thought i was doing ok but lately, not so much.  though at the same time,  i do feel like they are doing it on purpose, my oldest (6.5) is the worst .. the 2 yr old is much easier to brush off, i know she is acting her age - but when my 6 yr old pulls similar stunts i just can't handle it . getting out the door is suddenly a huge struggle and it drives me INSANE - my 2 yr old, is 2 - the 4 yr old hides all his socks in strange places so we can never find 2 socks when its time to leave, and the 6 yr old spends the entire time she is suppose to be getting ready wiggling her tooth or making tiny braids in her hair.. so i end up looking for socks and the 2 yr old is running around naked and the 6 yr old does nothing and suddenly its been an hour and we're late. again. i told them if they can't start cooperating we're going to stop going places (esp. places we have to be on time, like their classes/activities) 

 

cooking has also not been happening. at. all.

post #8 of 29

So glad to read this thread, I am in the January group.      Seriously these hormones are killing me! 

I had a freak out on Monday and registered my 6 yr old for school at our neighborhood school which was so not my plan but I felt like an evil mother around her all the time, I was not keeping up on the homeschooling and she was bored and really picking on her brother...but now I feel guilty and weird about having her in a school that does not fit our lifestyle(unhealthy foods, media time so far every day(I can do that at home thanks) and so many other issues.  I think I am going to end up pulling her which sucks too because she likes school but my mom is coming at the end of January for a month and I might be ready to homeschool for real after that...anyway that is a total vent...oh and more..we have no money for the first time since we have had a family(usually I am donating food and coats this time of year and now I am praying for a little money to make the magic happen for the kids..let alone having stuff for the baby..I can't even afford our midwife payments of $250 a month.  I think that is the main contributor of my mood lately that and the fact that when I was in this end funk with my other 2 I had money to nest and buy cute things to take my mind of the scary hormonal ups and downs...oh and the fact that this time my yoni is so swollen and I have varicosities that make me so uncomfortable that I can't walk as much as I did with the other two which I think helps get the hormones out of your system when you are done with them and all this uncomfortable-ness makes sex seem totally unappealing which also has been a mood booster in the past.  My 3 year old is also driving my a little nutty even though snuggling with him and reading books helps it is still a struggle to maintain calm when you feel like sh*t.  Ahh I feel so much better thanks guys!  On a positive note at least it is the most wonderful time of the year and I enjoy beaching myself on the couch with the christmas lights on and the music going and just let the kids whine.  But seriously what will we do after christmas...maybe I will keep the tree up until the baby comes :)
 

post #9 of 29

I can commiserate on the money issues. We skate by okay but the stress on our bank account of having a third and having to re-buy baby stuff (that I stupidly gave away) has been a main source of stress for me. I'm also in nesting mode but have to wait to buy baby stuff until after xmas. And we will most likely still have our tree when the baby comes! We usually don't get around to taking it down til early Feb.

post #10 of 29

I feel a ton of pressure to always be on my best behavior right now because everyone is doing everything for me.  Worried one day I might explode. 

post #11 of 29

I've always had a bit of a loose mental filter, so I have a tendency to come off as brash to people I don't know because I don't usually factor emotions into decision-making (except when I'm at work-mode, of course, but it's really just because it's what I'm trained to do, not because it comes naturally to me). So now that I find myself having emotions before I get the chance to process my thoughts, I'm finding it harder to manage. HOWEVER, I pride myself on the fact that I'm usually able to work around it by pausing before speaking whenever I feel a strong emotion... unless I'm with DH where I'm comfortable enough to say whatever comes in my head.

 

So when people in my life write off the things I have to say because of my "pregnancy brain" or "mood swings", even though I'm quietly working so hard to manage them, it pisses me off to no end and there isn't anything I can do about it without adding fuel to their argument. It's like when someone accuses you of being angry over and over again until it actually makes you angry.

 

Another frustrating part of this is that all the things I used to do to manage my stress (running, really intense hot yoga), I can't do anymore.

post #12 of 29

i'm with you mamas on the emotional aspect. we have a 3 bedroom condo, and my MIL is still living in our baby room, since she bought a house 2 months ago but all hell broke loose with it. so we can't do ANYTHING in that room and i'm afraid i might freak out, since she has no idea when she'll move out. then my sister in law has been living in our spare room, and has made no attempt whatsoever to find her own place. i'm not supposed to say anything to her because she's bipolar or blah blah blah, but i really don't care. we're going to have a discussion today about it. plus i do not appreciate her room smelling like weed. it makes me so mad. she's known since JULY that she needs a place (and JUST found a job because i kept emailing her job listings) so i have no sympathy for her. she's 25, grown the hell up. i feel like her whole family enables her behavior. it drives me crazy. so we've had all of our stuff in a storage shed in another town, just got it into our garage, and can't actually move into our OWN place until they are gone. i'm trying so hard not to snap, and it makes me cry all the time just thinking about how much they are pushing me to wait, wait, wait. i have less than 9 weeks left! 

sorry for the vent. 

post #13 of 29

I just have to join in.  OF COURSE I'm thrilled to be pregnant again and thankful for everthing I have, but......... there are still 2 more months to go and am already feeling like I just can't expand any more, and like I'm carrying a full backcountry backpack constantly on my front.  I'm with you, Teles, in that the ways I would normally cope with stress (running, going out to hear music, playing in a band) are either out of the question physically or just too completely exhausting at this point.  I have zero, and I mean zero energy after 5pm, and I work with kids til after 7, so you can guess how that goes.  I find myself talking gibberish frequently because I'm about to fall asleep.  My partner is wonderful and caring but isn't around very much.  Most of all, I'm really stressed about finances, and how I'm going to manage not working and not getting paid, or worse, working and having to find/pay for daycare.  Oh for a bright house in a warm climate, abundant wealth, limitless naps, a live-in chef and massage therapist..............  
 

post #14 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teles View Post

I've always had a bit of a loose mental filter, so I have a tendency to come off as brash to people I don't know because I don't usually factor emotions into decision-making (except when I'm at work-mode, of course, but it's really just because it's what I'm trained to do, not because it comes naturally to me). So now that I find myself having emotions before I get the chance to process my thoughts, I'm finding it harder to manage. HOWEVER, I pride myself on the fact that I'm usually able to work around it by pausing before speaking whenever I feel a strong emotion... unless I'm with DH where I'm comfortable enough to say whatever comes in my head.

 

So when people in my life write off the things I have to say because of my "pregnancy brain" or "mood swings", even though I'm quietly working so hard to manage them, it pisses me off to no end and there isn't anything I can do about it without adding fuel to their argument. It's like when someone accuses you of being angry over and over again until it actually makes you angry.

 

Another frustrating part of this is that all the things I used to do to manage my stress (running, really intense hot yoga), I can't do anymore.

my husband would just lose it if he saw this post!  'loose mental filter' is a very nice way to put it!!!  sometimes he says he likes to get people together that he knows won't expect me, and then just lets me be me and loves the faces that ensue.  i'm an INTP- so if i were more J it'd be even more fun.  but my intuitive thinking combined with being a strong thinker (i usually know exactly why i'm feeling this way, so don't ask unless you really want the full scoop, and by that, i mean every possible connection and also what i've read into you and your behaviors up to this point) is very hard to keep in line w/ pregnancy.  when sometimes i just don't know.  waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!  

 

my husband also says to people all the time "hormonal and pregnant?  man, she's amazing and so even-keeled!  i love her like this,"  he actually prefers the slow and somewhat less extreme pregnancy mood swings to a bad bout of PMS which is just more surprising to him b/c it's so not the normal me.  

 

And i miss dancing!!!!  i used to just dance and dance and dance, and now, i feel so lumpy and awkward...  massage from my man is the best stress release, but he's not around for a while...

 

AnahataChakra- money is such a huge underlying stressor!!!  we realized we lived the last 4 years so on edge due to money (both of us are self-employed)- and though we always made it through and had enough, the stress of not knowing when or how we'd do things or afford the necessities was grinding.  we've had a lot of rough spells in our marriage, and usually now it's only related to money!!!  we're a great set, and very supportive of each other, but both of us were carrying so much weight w/ money.  we're not rich by any means, but this year moved to a supportive community and also have financial support for my husband (not enough to live on, but enough to pay rent every month!) and suddenly we were like 'wow.  life is SO EASY.'  we can go out and buy food or shoes when we need them.  we're still a one car family, but we have heat for the winter, food, and a steady monthly income that almost covers most of our major bills.  life is good!  and i hear you on sex!  the last month of my last pregnancy it actually hurt (i think i dilate early and my body has hints to stay away) so much that we avoided it, and that was not easy for either of us, added to the recovery period it was a legend now in our marriage.  but the loss of intimacy and the key stress reducer we shared was really challenging.  rest well!  and keep that tree up as long as you need!  i've got netflix on in case, and we're all learning the greek alphabet for fun....  whatever it takes!!!

 

Kellybeth-

OMGOODNESS!!!!  you're getting sainted for this!  i cannot handle people living in my space for long, especially not when i need to prepare mentally, emotionally and physically for large shifts!!!  we have had houseguests for the last month, and my husband was so happy they were leaving b/c he was tired and he's the social one of the two of us.  i have a 2 week limit for people living in my house, and i then just start to slowly unravel.  people want to come out and 'help with the baby' and i'm like 'i'll call you when the baby comes then' b/c i don't have the space or patience for what most people think i need.  and i don't want them around while i'm hugely pregnant, giving birth, or hazy and slowly recovering (beware, it's a strange twilight zone for a while after birth)- it's too much.  here's to getting some things resolved asap so you can do what you need to do!

post #15 of 29

Well... I must take this opportunity to complain a bit too.  I am having a tough go of it this week.  I have been battling an upper respiratory thing for a while now and have been winded constantly and coughing like crazy.  I finally got told after a few trips to the doctor that I probably have walking pnuemonia....great.  So...now I am on anti-biotics (yuck) not to mention that I got laid off this week, and our landlord decided to send us notice that he wants to raise the rent by $200 a month starting Jan.1...Then this evening my 2 year old puked all over me.  Perfection.  Not to mention the anemia and totally worn out feeling really kicking my butt.  Thanks for reading/sympathizing/etc... I am going to bed now and when I wake up I am going to try to be positive and look for the good in all and be happy that baby Judah will be with us soon...

post #16 of 29

So last night I had a melt down because I accidentally ate blue cheese on a pizza without realizing it.

 

I even called the nurse line here because I was panicking after the internet had me spiraling out of control ("You WILL get Listeria and Listeria = DEATH TO BABIES!!!!!!!"), which was a waste of time because she couldn't reassure me. She did, however, transfer me to poison control (at which point I was calming down and starting to feel a little ridiculous) where I spoke with easily the most wonderful woman I've ever had contact with who guided me to different websites she was reading where it said that a little bit now and then (especially when cooked and purchased from a reputable grocery store) was absolutely nothing to be concerned about at all.

 

Sigh. 8 Weeks left until I get my brain back.

post #17 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teles View Post


Sigh. 8 Weeks left until I get my brain back.

Sorry to break it to ya, but after pregnant brain comes mommy brain. smile.gif

But seriously, sorry to hear about the listeria scare. Glad you were able to get some reassurance and feel better about it.
post #18 of 29

in my experience, mommy brain (read: severe sleep deprivation) is much worse than preggo brain. you won't ever get your old brain back. ;)

 

that said, you find a new normal and new balance, and you learn that you can do so much more than you thought on very little sleep/me time, etc

post #19 of 29

um- what both these women said!!!!  ^^^

 

that said- pizzas are cooked at very high temps- i'm pretty sure any little ugly bacteria wouldn't have survived that delicious roasting process that makes the whole thing so delicious!

post #20 of 29

These are the kinds of things that I don't want to hear right now. Let me live in my denial bubble for just a little longer... orngtongue.gif

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