Originally Posted by Teles
I've always had a bit of a loose mental filter, so I have a tendency to come off as brash to people I don't know because I don't usually factor emotions into decision-making (except when I'm at work-mode, of course, but it's really just because it's what I'm trained to do, not because it comes naturally to me). So now that I find myself having emotions before I get the chance to process my thoughts, I'm finding it harder to manage. HOWEVER, I pride myself on the fact that I'm usually able to work around it by pausing before speaking whenever I feel a strong emotion... unless I'm with DH where I'm comfortable enough to say whatever comes in my head.
So when people in my life write off the things I have to say because of my "pregnancy brain" or "mood swings", even though I'm quietly working so hard to manage them, it pisses me off to no end and there isn't anything I can do about it without adding fuel to their argument. It's like when someone accuses you of being angry over and over again until it actually makes you angry.
Another frustrating part of this is that all the things I used to do to manage my stress (running, really intense hot yoga), I can't do anymore.
my husband would just lose it if he saw this post! 'loose mental filter' is a very nice way to put it!!! sometimes he says he likes to get people together that he knows won't expect me, and then just lets me be me and loves the faces that ensue. i'm an INTP- so if i were more J it'd be even more fun. but my intuitive thinking combined with being a strong thinker (i usually know exactly why i'm feeling this way, so don't ask unless you really want the full scoop, and by that, i mean every possible connection and also what i've read into you and your behaviors up to this point) is very hard to keep in line w/ pregnancy. when sometimes i just don't know. waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
my husband also says to people all the time "hormonal and pregnant? man, she's amazing and so even-keeled! i love her like this," he actually prefers the slow and somewhat less extreme pregnancy mood swings to a bad bout of PMS which is just more surprising to him b/c it's so not the normal me.
And i miss dancing!!!! i used to just dance and dance and dance, and now, i feel so lumpy and awkward... massage from my man is the best stress release, but he's not around for a while...
AnahataChakra- money is such a huge underlying stressor!!! we realized we lived the last 4 years so on edge due to money (both of us are self-employed)- and though we always made it through and had enough, the stress of not knowing when or how we'd do things or afford the necessities was grinding. we've had a lot of rough spells in our marriage, and usually now it's only related to money!!! we're a great set, and very supportive of each other, but both of us were carrying so much weight w/ money. we're not rich by any means, but this year moved to a supportive community and also have financial support for my husband (not enough to live on, but enough to pay rent every month!) and suddenly we were like 'wow. life is SO EASY.' we can go out and buy food or shoes when we need them. we're still a one car family, but we have heat for the winter, food, and a steady monthly income that almost covers most of our major bills. life is good! and i hear you on sex! the last month of my last pregnancy it actually hurt (i think i dilate early and my body has hints to stay away) so much that we avoided it, and that was not easy for either of us, added to the recovery period it was a legend now in our marriage. but the loss of intimacy and the key stress reducer we shared was really challenging. rest well! and keep that tree up as long as you need! i've got netflix on in case, and we're all learning the greek alphabet for fun.... whatever it takes!!!
OMGOODNESS!!!! you're getting sainted for this! i cannot handle people living in my space for long, especially not when i need to prepare mentally, emotionally and physically for large shifts!!! we have had houseguests for the last month, and my husband was so happy they were leaving b/c he was tired and he's the social one of the two of us. i have a 2 week limit for people living in my house, and i then just start to slowly unravel. people want to come out and 'help with the baby' and i'm like 'i'll call you when the baby comes then' b/c i don't have the space or patience for what most people think i need. and i don't want them around while i'm hugely pregnant, giving birth, or hazy and slowly recovering (beware, it's a strange twilight zone for a while after birth)- it's too much. here's to getting some things resolved asap so you can do what you need to do!