Trouble with DS and Bus

[bmcneal]

DS (3, almost 4) goes to partial-day pre-school, and rides the regular bus home at the end of the day. Lately, he has been getting into a lot of trouble on the bus, getting up out of his seat, climbing over the seats, running around, etc. The bus driver warned him (then came by the house to talk to DF, to let us know what was going on) that if he didn't behave, he would have to kick DS off the bus, at first, for one day, at second incident, for the rest of the year. DF talked to DS, I talked to DS, and my mom talked to DS this morning before he got on the bus. He said he understood, and that he would behave. Well, he didn't. And now, he's kicked off the bus for tomorrow. I don't know what to do. I've tried telling him that if I have to quit my job so I can go pick him up, that that will take away money for us to do extra fun stuff (I'm going to be putting my notice in in the next 4-6 weeks, anyway, so it wouldn't be just for this), and he said he understood, and that he would behave, but he didn't. I've tried talking to him about safety, and how he needs to stay in his seat so he doesn't get hurt, but that didn't help, either.

Any ideas on how to get him to behave, and stay in his seat?

[Geofizz]

Generally kids who are riding a bus that young have an additional aide on the bus to help with such things.  I fear your DS is simply too young to be riding this bus safely without that support. Sitting still is a lot of what preschools work on with kids in the rather controlled environment of circle time, recognizing that this is something children need to learn.   Is this public school?  If I were in your shoes, I might call the principal/school director for support. 

[JollyGG]

My thought was the same as Geofizz. That age is really really young to ride a bus alone.

[bmcneal]

He doesn't have an aide (I will talk to his teacher about the possibility of that. While the pre-school is in the school building, from what I've been told, the school doesn't have any interaction with the pre-school.), but DD rides the bus home with him, and there are three or four other kids (ages from 8 to 12-ish) that kind of watch over him, too. It is public school. I normally wouldn't have had him start pre-school so early, but he was a transfer from First Steps (a program for kids from birth or one year [I can't remember] to age 3) because he had/has a *very* difficult time with talking/speech, and it's special education pre-school. (It's a hundred times better, after 3 months of speech therapy with FS, and almost a school year's worth of speech therapy with the pre-school, but still very hard to understand, even for me.)

For now, my mom said she can pick him up from school until the 19th, and they are out the 21st, so I'll talk to his teacher probably next week, and we'll pick him up between now and then, and if we have to, see how he does on the 20th. By the time they are back from Christmas holiday, I'll not be working, so I will be able to pick him up. But he does love riding the bus, and "being a big boy."

[Geofizz]

This isn't the job for an 8 to 12 year old group of friends.  He needs an aide on the bus -- it's an issue of safety -- and because this is special ed preschool, there should be a way to get an aide onto that bus. 

If you get the run around from the director of the preschool and director of special ed, I would next look for the district's transportation policy.  Every school system in the country has to have one, and it should delineate what the requirements are and what your rights are.  If you can't find it online, call the district office and ask for a copy.  Then call the superintendent.  Cast it as a safety issue.  The child does not have sufficient maturity to ride a bus without a seat belt and without adequate supervision.

[bmcneal]

Originally Posted by Geofizz 

This isn't the job for an 8 to 12 year old group of friends.  He needs an aide on the bus -- it's an issue of safety -- and because this is special ed preschool, there should be a way to get an aide onto that bus. 

If you get the run around from the director of the preschool and director of special ed, I would next look for the district's transportation policy.  Every school system in the country has to have one, and it should delineate what the requirements are and what your rights are.  If you can't find it online, call the district office and ask for a copy.  Then call the superintendent.  Cast it as a safety issue.  The child does not have sufficient maturity to ride a bus without a seat belt and without adequate supervision.

I didn't mean to imply that the other children are in charge of making sure he's safe, just that they like to make sure the other kids don't pick on him, that kind of stuff. I called his teacher, and left a message, as she was meeting the bus when I called, but hopefully I can figure something out. If nothing else, he can ride the preschool bus to school, and we'll pick him up after, but I'm going to see what his teacher says, and see what we can figure out that way.

[One_Girl]

I'd also ask about the seat belt policy for kids this age. Our district has aides on all buses and an over both shoulders harness for preschool children.

[AllisonR]

If there isn't an aid on the bus, then who is helping him, watching him? It's the 8-12 year olds, indirectly. I am very free-range, and live in a country where you can leave kids alone or ride a bus or bike home at whatever age you feel like... but I think a 4yo is way to young to be able to handle what you are asking of him. To not ever be impulsive. And to understand that his misbehavior will have financial ramifications I think is going to be way beyond his grasp. We have talked to our kids about finances A LOT, and although my 8yo really understands saving up, my 6yo has just started to understand it, instead of always using her money on an impulse purchase.