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Homeschooling moms - Page 2

post #21 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklyn_warbler View Post

I am curious during what context you have conversation with the parents of people you interview about whether or not they feel their child is socially awkward?

 

It may be the culture of homeschooling in NYC vs. other regions but I have to say the homeschooled kids I have met (of various ages) are super awesome and pretty much the opposite of socially awkward.  It's part of the reason why we got interested in homeschooling in the first place...I say this as someone who didn't even think about homeschooling until I started meeting homeschooled kids who were almost UNUSUALLY well-adjusted in comparison to many of the other (traditionally schooled) kids I knew and taught.  shrug.gif
 

 

It's actually kind of funny - and please bare with me that this is just my personal experience in my little corner of the world here - but more times then I can count I've had parents of homeschooled kids call and ask me why I didn't hire their son or daughter. duh.gif Seriously. Um.. I didn't hire them because I received 100 applications and interviewed 10 and hired 1, your kid didn't make the cut for what ever reason, but it's nothing personal. 8 other kids didn't get the job either winky.gif I've had parents try to fill out the applications for their kids, and even want to sit in on the interview.

 

We also participate in a "job shadow" program where kids can come volunteer for a few hours and get school credit and the homeschooling parents are usually really pushy and want us to make exceptions for what their student will do - what paper work they submit and how they turn it in, they hours they can participate, etc. Maybe camprunner hit it on the head - the awkward parents create the awkward kids regardless of homeschooling or not lol

 

I will admit that I *HAVE* known/hired some great people that were homeschooled and I have several friends that are homeschooling their kids and I'm sure they're going to turn out fine. I guess what I'm saying is that it's really easy to do a crappy job at it and really hard to do it right. Maybe there are just a lot of lazy parents in my area (I'm in the suburbs but close to some very rural areas). It's really easy to "say" public school sucks, but being a teacher is hard work so if you're going to do it yourself you have to be 110% committed to doing it right. I feel very blessed to live in an area with good schools and awesome teachers and if that weren't the case I would look at my other options too.

 

And just to reiterate, I mean no harm here and am merely voicing an opinion as someone who potentially has to employ and/or work with your child as an adult thumb.gif

post #22 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by firespiritmelody View Post

 

It's actually kind of funny - and please bare with me that this is just my personal experience in my little corner of the world here - but more times then I can count I've had parents of homeschooled kids call and ask me why I didn't hire their son or daughter. duh.gif Seriously.

 

Yeah, that sounds like a particular type of homeschooling parent to me.

 

Honestly I do see different "cultures" of homeschooling in various locations.  I think I'm in a very particular one where freedom and the ability to learn IN the world is a big priority, so my experience is very different.

 

Most of the homeschoolers I know are also teachers or ex-teachers (including me!).  LOL.  I agree that there is no doing homeschooling any less than 110%.

post #23 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by firespiritmelody View Post
It's really easy to "say" public school sucks, but being a teacher is hard work so if you're going to do it yourself you have to be 110% committed to doing it right. I feel very blessed to live in an area with good schools and awesome teachers and if that weren't the case I would look at my other options too.

 

 

I do think it totally depends, both ways.  Parents have to figure out the how's and why's of homeschooling...a huge part of our reason to homeschool is because we feel that's what God calls us to do in Deuteronomy 6:7 (though I know not everyone feels convicted in the same way by that verse...I'm simply referring to our own family), but I know a lot of people who homeschool to "shelter" their children.  Sure, keeping them from the things of this world- especially in this day and age- while they are little sponges, soaking up EVERYTHING, and being able to better monitor what they are exposed to while they are young is one thing (and I'm all for that because we think it's very important).  BUT...I know a fair number of parents- mostly those with older/grown children now- who took the sheltering aspect too far and I can absolutely see how that has affected them.  I definitely think it's like you guys mentioned- awkward parenting = awkward outcomes, and awesome parenting = awesome outcomes. (not guarantees either way, obviously LOL)

 

However, I think it's similar at public school.  Great teachers can produce great students, bad teachers can create a miserable experiences for students throughout the rest of their public school experience.  My hubby- the homeschooled one- is actually a public school math teacher (though he's not working as one right now since his EMS job pays much better and it's not something he will likely do for the rest of his life so he's doing it now :) ).  I think his perspective is so valuable, because he has a really objective view on school, but has also experienced both homeschool and public school.  

 

I don't think location has much to do with it, but rather what the parents choose to do with where they are at and the resources available to them.  We are in a rural area but still have a lot of homeschool options, and I think that's kind of an advantage to smaller towns (we are surrounded by several) because we know people from all of the schools and the schools are great about homeschoolers participating in sports and music classes, stuff like that.  But I'm sure the options with urban homeschooling are just sky high!!!  

post #24 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklyn_warbler View Post

 

Yeah, that sounds like a particular type of homeschooling parent to me.

 

Honestly I do see different "cultures" of homeschooling in various locations.  I think I'm in a very particular one where freedom and the ability to learn IN the world is a big priority, so my experience is very different.

 

 

To add to my list, this is another thing I love...being able to learn IN the world.  I can see my children- already, even at just almost 5 and 7- struggling with sitting in a desk and being confined to a classroom for most of the day.  I love that we can learn about anything at any time in any location, and that our classroom is so diverse in comparison to what I had growing up, at least.  And I love knowing that is what hubby wants in his classrooms...to provide the type of education that most students can't get in the public school setting.  Again, comes down to the teacher, not necessarily the type of school.

post #25 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1babysmom View Post

 

I don't think location has much to do with it

 

Yes, forgive me -- I was trying to talk in pluralities and it was unclear.  What I meant was "there are various DIFFERENT cultures in various locations."  I definitely think in certain regions the dominance of certain cultures can shift but I agree with everything you are saying!

post #26 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklyn_warbler View Post

 

Yes, forgive me -- I was trying to talk in pluralities and it was unclear.  What I meant was "there are various DIFFERENT cultures in various locations."  I definitely think in certain regions the dominance of certain cultures can shift but I agree with everything you are saying!

 

Oh I was actually referring to a reference in the other post about the homeschooling differences in different areas. :)  I definitely think that location CAN have an affect, but it comes down to what we are all already in agreement on, that it's up to the parents to decide what to with what they have.  Same with public schools...I know a lot of more rural schools are looked down upon because they are small and often poorly funded, but again, I think that the right teachers can do amazing things even if they have very few resources available to them! 

post #27 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1babysmom View Post

 

However, I think it's similar at public school.  Great teachers can produce great students, bad teachers can create a miserable experiences for students throughout the rest of their public school experience.  My hubby- the homeschooled one- is actually a public school math teacher (though he's not working as one right now since his EMS job pays much better and it's not something he will likely do for the rest of his life so he's doing it now :) ).  I think his perspective is so valuable, because he has a really objective view on school, but has also experienced both homeschool and public school.  

 

 

I am a public school teacher (currently) and I choose to homeschool BECAUSE I'm a public school teacher. I used to have the belief that if I taught public school then that's where my kids belonged.  However, after working a tiny bit  (like 10-20 min. per day) with my daughter the summer before Kindergarten and then sending  her to Kindergarten where I realized that the teacher (like all teachers) could not work with 18 kids of 18 different levels. Her teacher was awesome. She did everything we were told to do in workshops we attended and she would have gotten National Board Certification on the first try if her practices had anything to with it.  However, no teacher is superhuman.  They can't do the impossible.  There is nothing like one on one attention and someone who loves you like only a parent can.

post #28 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1babysmom View Post

 

but I know a lot of people who homeschool to "shelter" their children.  Sure, keeping them from the things of this world- especially in this day and age- while they are little sponges, soaking up EVERYTHING, and being able to better monitor what they are exposed to while they are young is one thing (and I'm all for that because we think it's very important).  BUT...I know a fair number of parents- mostly those with older/grown children now- who took the sheltering aspect too far and I can absolutely see how that has affected them.  I definitely think it's like you guys mentioned- awkward parenting = awkward outcomes, and awesome parenting = awesome outcomes. (not guarantees either way, obviously LOL)

 

YES! I think this is exactly the problem I see most of the time - your kids are going to grow up eventually and have to deal with people besides you, you can't keep them from that forever. Those  are the kids that stand out and give homeschooling a bad name (and why people assume socialization is always a problem).

 

 

For the record, I think we place too much pressure on our public school teachers to preform without putting any responsibility on the parents to continue the education and help the students get where they need to be. We personally work with our kids every day - reinforcing what they're learning at school and building on the things they aren't learning. We can't expect teachers to do it all! Especially when some schools are pushing 35+ kids in each class! This is another one of those "rock vrs hard place" situations because if you're not able to commit to it fully, your kid is going to suffer.

post #29 of 37
Thread Starter 

Oh, absolutely.  To me it's just like so many other parenting decisions...it's like some people out there don't want to have to deal with the responsibility- or the consequenses- because it IS a big job, so they pass the puck.  Kids behind academically?  Blame the school.  Kids making poor choices?  Blame the school.  :(  And I don't say that to mean I think every parent should homeschool, but just that parents need to step up to the plate.  Teachers aren't out there to raise our children, and it makes me so sad to think of all the kids who have parents that don't put in that effort simply because the children are in school all day and so they don't "have" to. :(  That's why I love communities like MDC...even though our decisions and reasoning may all be so very different, the majority of us are VERY involved in our children's lives and LIKE it that way. :)

 

Granted...what do I know, being only 27 and having only ~7 years of experience with parenting. LOL  So that's just my opinion, anyway. :)

post #30 of 37

I do think that the type of parents that completely over protect their children would tend to be home schooling parents so I think that explains why homeschooled kids get a bad reputation for being socially awkward.  I'll be honest it's something I've worried about because there aren't really many community groups (sports, clubs, etc.) for kids (around here) that I've seen so far, unless it's through a local school and the child would have to be a student.  Maybe I just haven't looked around enough.  I've personally met several homeschooled kids while growing up (although mostly in my local community college) and could tell right away that they were homeschooled because they were all noticeably strange.  That being said, I've met plenty of kids in public school who were very awkward as well.  The difference was, the homeschooled kids didn't seem to be ashamed of their uniqueness and had much more confidence in themselves as well as tending to be a lot more intelligent than others at their age.  The awkward kids in public school usually had extremely low self esteem and although they were, in many cases, quite smart, they were usually too afraid to speak up and no one really knew their capabilities.  

 

As for our public school teachers, I agree we can't expect them to raise our children or give them individualized attention.  But that's one of the main reasons I want to be responsible for my child's education.  I found myself extremely bored in school with several topics.  I wasn't a genius or anything but there were plenty of kids that couldn't learn well with the techniques typically used by public school teachers and therefore I had to suffer through repeating lessons I already knew or spending far too much time on a topic that was so simple to me.  And the amount of homework given out by many teachers today is ridiculous.  When I was in 5th grade I would spend almost my entire evening on homework that I felt was unnecessary for me to learn each subject.  It was so bad my father called my teacher and complained.  And he isn't the complaining type.  So many kids spend almost their entire day immersed in school lessons or work.  Does that seem right to you?  

 

Anyway my point is I am excited to be able to give my child an education that is tailored to him specifically.  I think he will be able to find more success in life this way because he has the potential to learn far more than he would have in a public school by not having to waste time relearning or being dragged slowly through topics for the sake of the slower learners and at the same time I can take more time with him on anything he has trouble with.  I think it will cause him to be more excited about learning than I was much of the time during school.  The most exciting lessons I learned were mostly learned outside of a classroom.

 

Of course that isn't my only problem with public schools.  I could go on and on.  And that's not to say that parents should feel guilty for allowing their child to attend public school although I can see how I might sound that way.  I just don't want it for my kids.  Many children do quite well and there are probably many much better schools than the ones in my area.  

post #31 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by KateHNM View Post

I'll be honest it's something I've worried about because there aren't really many community groups (sports, clubs, etc.) for kids (around here) that I've seen so far, unless it's through a local school and the child would have to be a student.

 


I don't know how it is in other areas of course, but when I was in high school we had several kids that came to my high school just for our band and athletic programs but were homeschooled other then that. They literally just came to school for the one period a day that was band and then came back after school if they were doing sports. I don't know how it worked specifically but there may be something like that in your area too. IMO, that's kind of the best of both worlds and the kids I knew in those programs were great.

post #32 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by firespiritmelody View Post

 


I don't know how it is in other areas of course, but when I was in high school we had several kids that came to my high school just for our band and athletic programs but were homeschooled other then that. They literally just came to school for the one period a day that was band and then came back after school if they were doing sports. I don't know how it worked specifically but there may be something like that in your area too. IMO, that's kind of the best of both worlds and the kids I knew in those programs were great.

 

The ability to do that varies from state to state. In Idaho you can do that too. In Michigan, unless you register with the state as a homeschooler, which means meeting certain criteria that otherwise isn't expected, your child can't participate in the school like that. At least that is my understanding.

post #33 of 37

In NC, it's rare for a homeschooler to be allowed to participate in school activities.

post #34 of 37
Just checking my ability to reply to threads....I haven't been able to do more than read for weeks. Computer issues.

As a HSing mom of many, I have a few thoughts on many of the things that have been brought up here. Hopefully I will get to post soonish. smile.gif

Love, p
post #35 of 37
I don't usually reply to these sorts of threads, but I'm feeling a bit impish, so why not?

Our family is an unschooling family. I cringe at the thought of phoning an interviewer, and commenting on a private meeting between that person and my child.

My children learn in and from the world. They are uncommonly sensitive, but have learned that most people in the world are not so. I suppose the exquisitely sensitive, pregnant me takes exception to ideas like "it is easy to do homeschooling badly". I have no comment about traditional schooling. It is not a good fit for my family. I do find the notion that the schools and their methods have very much to do with a person's social abilities rather laughable, honestly.

John Taylor Gatto has wonderful descriptions of the richness that can be had through unschooling. Though, it is surely not for everyone.
post #36 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by velveeta View Post

I don't usually reply to these sorts of threads, but I'm feeling a bit impish, so why not?
Our family is an unschooling family. I cringe at the thought of phoning an interviewer, and commenting on a private meeting between that person and my child.
My children learn in and from the world. They are uncommonly sensitive, but have learned that most people in the world are not so. I suppose the exquisitely sensitive, pregnant me takes exception to ideas like "it is easy to do homeschooling badly". I have no comment about traditional schooling. It is not a good fit for my family. I do find the notion that the schools and their methods have very much to do with a person's social abilities rather laughable, honestly.
John Taylor Gatto has wonderful descriptions of the richness that can be had through unschooling. Though, it is surely not for everyone.

 

I love pretty much everything about unschooling!!  I think I may have mentioned it (don't remember) but we tend to incorporate a lot of "unschooling" into our homeschool routine...if you can even call it a "routine." LOL  We do some curriculum for certain subjects because it works best for us, but overall I really love the other approach.  I just think it's such a powerful way for children to learn.  I had NO idea anything of the sort even existed until I started looking into what we'd do for homeschool, but it made perfect sense to me once I learned more.  That's why I love Charlotte Mason so much, because I feel like she's one of the closest more "structured" methods to unschooling.

post #37 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by velveeta View Post

I don't usually reply to these sorts of threads, but I'm feeling a bit impish, so why not?
Our family is an unschooling family. I cringe at the thought of phoning an interviewer, and commenting on a private meeting between that person and my child.
My children learn in and from the world. They are uncommonly sensitive, but have learned that most people in the world are not so. I suppose the exquisitely sensitive, pregnant me takes exception to ideas like "it is easy to do homeschooling badly". I have no comment about traditional schooling. It is not a good fit for my family. I do find the notion that the schools and their methods have very much to do with a person's social abilities rather laughable, honestly.
John Taylor Gatto has wonderful descriptions of the richness that can be had through unschooling. Though, it is surely not for everyone.

 

Agreed on all counts!

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