Need some advice

[ivfmamma]

Hi non-vaccine moms. We live in Virginia and drive an hour to get our doctor exempt form signed. My kids had vaccine's until it was obvious something neurological was happening to my oldest child. 

My kids attend a very small private school since my oldest was not doing well at public school.

My husband just told me this morning that yesterday while talking to a mother at the school...he told her we don't vaccinate. While obviously the school knows about this and they have our paperwork...we don't broadcast this as I have met even very close family members and friends that get very heated and angry about this subject. They do not care that something happened to my children. This lady that he told...well he might as well announced it on the p.a. Believe me I am not such a quite person but this woman is over the top. She is on facebook every hour posting something that can get people worked up. I am not sure if she has a filter for herself. 

My fear is that even though we have a doctor exemption that if enough parents get this knowledge they could force my kids out of school...or they would be ostracized. 

He complains about this woman's f.b. posts and yet he gave her this info. I feel like I am waiting for a bomb to drop.

Do you think I should send her a note or talk to her? What would you do?

Please, only non-vaccine moms advice.

Thanks!

[Marnica]

I hear your concern, but I would borrow trouble.  I would not attempt to talk to her about it unless it becomes an issue. 

She could not force your children out of school. You have a legal exemption. If she doesn't like it too bad. Did your husband say how she responded to him when he shared this info with her?

[NonGMOmom]

I was gonna say the same. I don't talk to anyone about it either, since there is a lot of ignorance of the subject. My own sister told me that I was the reason that VPDs were making a comeback. I told her she was ignorant, literally, meaning uninformed, on the subject, and eventually she agreed and we moved on.

I think pre-emptively talking to her might make it worse. You might just want to sit back and see how it plays out. If anyone asks, just tell them its for medical reasons and that you have a doctor signed medical exemption. Period. I don't think the kids will be ostracized. Good luck to you.

[Chicharronita]

These are great responses.

I myself don't broadcast that we're unvaccinated (whole family) to people, especially if I know they do. Luckily my dd's school has a mixed population of vaccinated and unvaccinated children, so people aren't likely to even bring the subject up.

No matter what, just know that you're doing the right thing. People often don't want to argue with you if you're confident in your choices. 

But I can see how it's a touchy subject. You don't want your kids to be ostracized. I felt more defensive when my dd was going to a school with a high vaccination rate. Luckily it only came up once, and the mom was very respectful (at least to my face, lol). 

[darciedoodle]

My DH just told a neighbor we don't vax, he was commenting to the woman about not getting our children's teeth sealed and she point blank asked him if we vaccinated. He didn't lie. He was put on the spot and didn't have a rehearsed answer. I never rock the boat with regard to health related matters that we follow that aren't mainstream. I'm worried that she'll tell everyone and our kids will be ostercised. We decided that we should have a response for future inquiries, something like "we don't follow the schedule".

[emmy526]

Another reply is, 'none of your business'  because it isn't their business.  Do you ask your neighbors what prescription medication they're on? of course not...just as no neighbor needs to inquire about vax status on other neighbors.  

Originally Posted by darciedoodle 

My DH just told a neighbor we don't vax, he was commenting to the woman about not getting our children's teeth sealed and she point blank asked him if we vaccinated. He didn't lie. He was put on the spot and didn't have a rehearsed answer. I never rock the boat with regard to health related matters that we follow that aren't mainstream. I'm worried that she'll tell everyone and our kids will be ostercised. We decided that we should have a response for future inquiries, something like "we don't follow the schedule".

Op, there is nothing that woman can do in so far as getting your children kicked out of school...they have a legal exemption, and that's what matters to the Board of ED, not what some looney tune is saying, and is her own opinion, no less.   Her spouting off like she did just shows how ignorant she is and she's letting everyone know, too. 

[Taximom5]

I would not say anything to this woman. Hopefully, least said, soonest mended. If she does start broadcasting something on FaceBook, you might ask a lawyer if there is anything you can do about her discussing your personal medical history without permission?  Even if there's nothing you can do, it might scare her enough to shut her up.

If the school is fine with your kids' vaccine status, you might ask a school official to step in on your behalf, but only AFTER she crosses the line by discussing your kids' personal medical history without your permission.

I think more and more people are opting to delay vaccines, opt out of others, etc, particularly doctors' and nurses' kids!  So even if she does try to start a flame war, she might not get the response she's hoping for.  More and more people know a child who has had a severe vaccine reaction.  I'd bet that your child isn't the only non-vaxed one in school, by a long shot.

You might also talk with your husband about not broadcasting personal medical information, as you never know what kind of idiot might have the wrong idea and run with it...

Good luck!