My 2.5 dd is starting to go to parties, generally I allow her to have baked treats (real food) but not packet stuff like crisps/lollies. dh thinks i should relax this a bit because it's only a few times a year. If i'm totally honest the primary reason I don't allow this stuff is the gelatin and the fact that I don't want a daily battle with her about wanting crap food because she has a taste for it. I know the day is coming when that she will have some so I'm wondering if I should pre empt it by taking some vegan lollies / kale chips etc to parties for her to have off her own special plate or hold out as long as poss. The parents of other kids would be fine with this and very sweetly they always follow up an invitation with a phone call to see what she can eat and if they can provide something special for her (I have wonderful friends!!!)I know my dd would also be fine with sticking to her own plate as long as she gets birthday cake! I just can't help thinking we would be opening pandoras box by doing this.
I should point out that we will at some stage allow her to eat some treats as her father doesn't want her to be "that" kid at school but we are disagreeing as to when some stage should be