December Chat « Back to Group Discussions

[hyde]

Just in case!

Wondering how mole and E. are doing- you out there somewhere?

Edited by hyde - 3/3/13 at 9:30am

[MadiMamacita]

[mole]

I am here! There is so little activity here now, and I'm not going to move to facebook. I just bought some breastfeeding clothes, and I love them. My jaw is less stressed now that I dont have to use my chin to hold my shirt up all the time. S has had a stomach ache the past couple days, super needy and wanting constant motion. I even have to nurse him walking sometimes now, sitting down makes him cry. I'm exhausted. I tried to start excersizing, and I just can't manage. I can do some things around the kitchen, but just barely. When I'm wearing him, I can't reach to do things (too short arms) so I want to get him on my back. I asked for a woven wrap for Christmas, maybe that will help me do more around the house. The ratio in our home is two adults to one baby, and he is outclassing us. He always has a reason for crying, so I feel like he is a very good communicator, but he needs a lot of direct attention, direct face to face paying attention only to him (like he doesnt like it if I read while he is nursing) and he sometimes sleeps very well, sometimes very poorly so we can't ever know if we can start something or if there will be time to finish it. I'm just very, very tired. 
 

[Carlin]

Mole, that sounds rough! My first was similarly high needs and those first months are a haze. Being able to get your baby on your back should make a huge difference.

Are you sure you don't want to join the facebook group? We miss you!

[honey bee]

Hi ladies, I have not been on here since being pregnant (did not post much) and am considering joining you all on FB. Someone mentioned it is a "secret" group?  Is that the same as a private group? Just wondering if there is a difference. Maybe I will see some of you over there. I would like to connect with other mommy's and chat about our experiences, that is whenever I can find the time. 

[crystal_buffaloe]

Oh, mole, that sounds rough. Surely walking around while nursing counts as exercise, right?

[Carlin]

Honey bee, a secret group means that it can't be searched, none of the posts show up in non-member news feeds, so your other friends won't see them, and a current member needs to add you. I'm not exactly sure about the terminology, and if there's a difference between private and secret, but it's about as secure as facebook gets.

If you want, you can send me a message and friend request to me, and I'll add you!https://www.facebook.com/carlin.a.johnston

[honey bee]

Thanks, Carlin!

[Jend1002]

Hi Mole! I was just asking about you on facebook so I thought I'd come over to see if you had posted. And wow, that does sound really rough.  My little guy is somewhat high needs so I can relate a little bit but I hope that the stomach ache is on the way out so things get a little better for you.  Sounds like that woven wrap may at least do the trick to give you a free hand.  I have to wear my baby for naps and have been using the Moby.  It really doesn't allow as much productivity as I would have expected.  

[crystal_buffaloe]

What kind of nursing clothes do you have? I have a few tops, but they seem pretty poorly constructed to me and I'm reluctant to shill out more dough for some of the more expensive brands.

Not much going on over here, except that we went to see The Hobbit! I didn't leave DD with a sitter until she was well over a year, but DS is just so much more laid back and I guess I'm more starved for a date :P Anyway, we were gone right at 3 hours (the theatre is right by our house) and I only briefly wondered about the kids a few times ... and surreptitiously checked my phone a for messages a few times ... but it was fun and the kids did well. Maybe in another 2 or 3 months we can even go on another date! ha!

[MadiMamacita]

I have a nursing tank from target that I have worn almost every single day for 4 months and it is still in great shape. I have DDDs and I wear that top with no bra all the time and I feel well supported.

[mole]

Crystal- the way I got happy with nursing clothes was by spending a lot of money. My favorite is this:http://shop.boobdesign.com/en/product/427/b-warmer-nursing-top#filter-2. I wear it all the time, and it's made my life better, so it's worth the money to me, but wow is it expensive. I wear a nursing tank underneath.

Jend- I still love wearing my baby around, and I do use all our carriers quite a bit, but I do think it's an unrealistically hyped up activity. It's not a magic panacea for happy baby and productive parents. It's so icy here now that I only feel safe walking the baby in his stroller, so the wearing only happens inside. 

Carlin- I don't want to join facebook because even though I am sure I have given enough private details that someone REALLY interested could figure out who I am, this does still provide anonymity that facebook would not. I've shared so much personal stuff here that I don't want to come out as a named person. 

The wee one has gotten over his stomach ache, and he's being less needy, but he needs so very much from both of us. I've been sleeping a whole lot which really helps me cope and be productive when I am awake, but leaves almost no time for anything other than caring for baby and home. I know now that my dreams of the baby fitting into our lives seamlessly, more like a third partner, were wildly off base. He changes absolutely everything, and I'm missing a lot of aspects of my life.   

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by mole 

I don't want to join facebook because even though I am sure I have given enough private details that someone REALLY interested could figure out who I am, this does still provide anonymity that facebook would not. I've shared so much personal stuff here that I don't want to come out as a named person. 

you dont have to use your real name. you could be Mole Mole if you want..

I know now that my dreams of the baby fitting into our lives seamlessly, more like a third partner, were wildly off base. He changes absolutely everything, and I'm missing a lot of aspects of my life.   

ime it gets better.

[hyde]

Edited by hyde - 3/3/13 at 9:31am

[crystal_buffaloe]

I have three Target nursing tanks (black, white, gray) and I wear them every.single.day -- I am so totally looking forward to bra shopping once this kid is weaned! (In 15-21 months or so!) But I do think I probably need to invest in some nursing clothes so I can be more comfortable and don't feel like I have to wear a black shirt with the black tank anytime we're going to be out.

With their first kid, my BIL & SIL basically just continued on with their normal lives -- they could take her out to coffee shops & restaurants & bars even (we have a smoking ban) and I was so jealous for a while that we couldn't do the same. DD totally upended our whole world, but you know, they change. (I mean, we still can't really take her to a restaurant, BUT - she happily plays independently for hours! And sleeps all night! And says the darndest things And you change, too -- and the baby period doesn't last forever.

[Carlin]

Hi September DDC! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, Merry Tuesday to those who don't! 

[hyde]

I just want a nice underwire nursing bra. I've got a couple Bravado tanks and one of their nursing bras, but it's all way too little support. I've been trying to address the clothing issue recently- I was totally fine with looking however in the first weeks, but lately it's been making me feel not great. I got some new jeans (a size up, so they fit) and have used a regular bra here and there when I know I'm not likely to need to nurse (e.g. running to the store right after feeding R.). What a difference.

Now if I could just wash my hair..

---

[crystal_buffaloe]

I'm sticking with my tank tops. I'm so lopsided since this left-boob nursing strike* there's just no way.

However, I've been thinking about this whole idea of my appearance more lately. I know I look ridiculous, and mostly I think it doesn't really matter -- whole days go by when I don't see anybody but the kids and DH -- but. But.

Another part of the problem is that I'm so cheap. I have lots of size 14's, which is what I wore before DD was born, and then I have a lot of size 10's from after I lost weight before conceiving DS. I can somewhat squeeze into some of the 10's, but the muffin top is ridiculous, or I can wear the 14's which are baggy and ridiculous. I really need to buy at least two pairs of pants that actually fit (and ideally also maybe sew/alter some of the 14's down a little).

As I'm typing, a news years resolution is dawning on me.

1) Sort through my clothes
2) Buy news clothes that fit
3) "Dress up" once a week?
4) Wash hair every day. (I know a lot of you are on the no-poo thing, but I'm not, and while showering every day was something I carved out time to do in the newborn period, now that James is a little bigger/more awake longer, I've let it slide and it's seriously sad.)

Okay, I feel better. How's that for some internet therapy?

*I posted about this on the FB page, but DS is refusing my left boob -- like, crying, thrashing, horribleness -- and it is seriously frustrating. I'm hoping the chiro on Monday works a miracle.

[mole]

Hyde- I have a nice nursing under wire bra. It's by Cake Lingerie and it is sexy. I wear a ridiculous size in it (36F) and was fitted at a store- never could have guessed that on my own. Strongly recommend getting fitted for your sexy bra since the feeding breasts are so changeable.
 

Crystal- I pretty much only make milk from one breast and have from the beginning. When I pump, I get five times as much from the "good" breast and when S eats he will only spend max 5 minutes on the "bad" breast before he starts freaking out and I have to switch him over. It's OK for us- the good breast is making enough milk, he is getting enough to eat. But I keep considering just giving up on the bad breast because I HATE when he freaks out between breasts. The good breast is twice the size of the bad breast, it's really, really noticeable. Your situation must be completely different since it's new- but just so you know the primarily one breast thing can be OK.

Both of you- when I want to shower I put a blanket on the floor next to the shower for S to lie on while I am showering. S can see me and it works fine. It's warm and steamy and interesting enough that he doesn't cry while I am showering. Maybe it's an option for your little ones.