Obligations and a LO

[LateNightMommy]

Hello Moms! You all have been so helpful in the past when I've had questions, I thought I would take to the boards for some more great advice!

I have one year left on my degree in university and I am anxious to finish! This would afford my husband and I more choices in where to live and the income we could have. Not to mention I'd be glad to just be finally done!

In January, my LO will be three months old and I am wanting to take one course at the University. Thankfully, a woman I am friends with is opening a day home around that time and has agreed to take my little angel part time. I trust her because she worked for years at a day care, has an accredited facility and has a degree in child psychology. If it sounds like I am trying to convince you all that this is a good idea, that's because I am still trying to convince myself!!

I have taken a course like the one I am taking before and know it takes a fair amount of homework and studying to get a good grade with. My husband works away from home every other week and as it is, I struggle to find the time to look after the baby, keep the house and my sanity! So finding the time to do the homework might be tough...

The course is three hours per week, spread over three days. I was hoping that I could drop Olivia off with the sitter for 3-4 hours each of those three days so I could study at school and still allow for travel time. I have two issues with this, though.

1. From a practical standpoint, I am worried she won't nap and then have terrible nights of fussiness and no sleep. Currently, I nurse her to sleep and obviously the sitter won't be able to do that - not only does she not lactate but she will have another small child to look after as well.

2. I am also worried about how this may affect the way Olivia and I bond. We co-sleep right now and while I was wanting to start putting her into her crib at 4 months, I may want to keep her with me until this semester is over just so that we can be closer for longer.

Have any moms left their LO's with a sitter when they've been this young? Can you give me some advice regarding the issues I think I may face? Your insight will, as always, be extremely valuable for me :)

Thanks so much!!

 

[ZAMsmama]

If you want to do it, then you should go for it, mama!  You and your baby's bond will survive those little departures just fine.  I would recommend you spend some time with the caregiver while she is interacting with babies though.  If she has more than one under 2yrs than I would not use her unless she is comfortable with using a carrier like a moby for your LO - they are the easiest way apart from nursing to get LO's that age to sleep while attending to other kids.  

[LateNightMommy]

I warned her that Livie likes to be held a lot, though she does also fall asleep in her swing, which I will be bringing to the day home. 

I am also going to bring my ring sling for her to use while she has Livie. 

Aaaannd I can always see how things are going. Should Livie be too much for her I can drop the course no big deal. Or if it's affecting her ability to sleep at night, I can always only use the sitter for the time of the class, take her back straight away afterwards and just *try* to get some homework done at home while she naps. If there isn't too much housework to do that is :P

Thanks for the boost :) It's nice to know you don't think I am being too selfish by wanting to get out there and finish my degree to give her a better life later on.I can say I certainly feel selfish :S But maybe that will pass once I am out there and things are still okay for us :D

Keep the advice coming mama's - I am all ears!

[LilyTiger]

LateNightMommy, you and I are doing essentially the same thing except I'm teaching a class.  I have a nanny two days a week and while I nurse Piper down for naps she is now much better at going down on her own.  I experimented the week before the nanny came with swaddle, shushing, rocking, and then laying her down drowsy and with about three minutes of fussing, it worked.  So there's hope even for nursing moms like us.  Babies are more flexible than we give them credit for and as long as their caregivers are consistent and loving, they'll do fine.  My daughter was 3.5 months when we started and is now 4 months so we've only been at it for two weeks now, but it seems to be working and I'm able to give her more attention when we're together because I get my work done when the nanny has her.   In that sense I think both of us win.

[nilatti]

I went back to work when my son was 4 months old. My husband and I were able to work from home a lot, but we still had DS in daycare two half-days each week. I was totally conflicted about it, but it ended up being fine. It was a home daycare, and the provider had been caring for children for 20 years. His days there were very different from at home, but he adapted. He even napped for her, for a couple of hours at a time, but never more than 45 mins for me! She said that any parents told her this--maybe baby sleeps longer when nursing isn't an option? :)

Good luck. It's hard, but I think you'll be fine. Plus, the semester will be over before your baby hits the 8- or 9-month separation anxiety phase.

[LateNightMommy]

I never thought about that but maybe this will be good practice for when she does hit the separation anxiety phase :D 

 

[sageowl]

I had to go back to work when my son was 3 months old (and finish out the school year after I ran out of maternity leave).    The daycare didn't have any trouble getting him to take a nap, so apparently he adjusted fine.  (We ended up doing drop off and pick up nursing, a lot of pumping, and a lot of night nursing, which was fine with me)

I also had to take another grad school class when he was 6 months old, which was 8 hours a day for 2 weeks.  Again, he made the adjustment fine.  (To get my studying/work done, I stayed after school for an hour or two every day to get my work done there so there would be no distractions--I also had a long bus ride to use for getting my readings done).

What helped both of us, I think, is starting off gradually (I started with a 2 hour drop off, and increased the length so he had time to get used to being in a new environment).  And I would go a bit early and stay long enough to get him settled in and comfortable so the transitions weren't so hurried.

Definitely go for it.  It's such a relief to get your schooling finished and be able to focus on other things.

[LateNightMommy]

*smacks forehead* Why didn't I think of that? I think I will start off slowly before my course starts. That should be less stressful on the sitter as well if she screams for me the whole time (which she can sometimes do when I leave her with my husband).

 

[phathui5]

1. From a practical standpoint, I am worried she won't nap and then have terrible nights of fussiness and no sleep. Currently, I nurse her to sleep and obviously the sitter won't be able to do that - not only does she not lactate but she will have another small child to look after as well.

The sitter will probably be able to get her to nap. I did home daycare for three years and was able to get breastfed babies to sleep by wearing them in the sling.

Quote:

2. I am also worried about how this may affect the way Olivia and I bond. We co-sleep right now and while I was wanting to start putting her into her crib at 4 months, I may want to keep her with me until this semester is over just so that we can be closer for longer.

It's only a few hours a day. I don't think it's going to affect her bond with you.

[element2012]

I just wanted to throw in my experience here.  I did not have a daily need for a sitter, but did leave my DD with my MIL quite often at that age to do little things like go to a salon for the day, dates with hubby, exercise, etc.  When she was that young, she really didn't cry much at all when I dropped her off. NOW... with separation anxiety in full swing, it can be rather terrible for my MIL.  I think it would have been better for DD if she had been accustomed to another caregiver (specifically her grandma) at a young age so it wouldn't be a big deal when separation anxiety kicked in.  So, in short, start early! She will be bonded to you, and yes the sitter as well, but no less bonded to you because of it.

[Mommel]

We are still nursing at 15 mos., cosleep, etc. and I have been in school full time since literally one week post partum, and I'm parenting solo. I still feel totally bonded, and he is happy and healthy, etc... if I can do it, you so totally can do it. Go for it, mama!!

[LateNightMommy]

Thanks to all the mamas who replied with encouraging stories of how they pulled it off. I feel much better now!