wine during pregnancy « Back to Group Discussions

[JNajla]

I have to ask a brutally honest question.  Has anyone out there ever drank wine with their previous (or current) pregnancies?  I've read several current research studies that are now saying that small amounts of wine (one study cited up to 5 glasses can be safe) but the threshold between safe/ unsafe was fuzzy around that amount.  The reason I'm asking is that I had a half glass of wine at dinner Friday night.  I drank about 2 ounces and my husband finished the rest of it for me.  I had a glass at thanksgiving dinner.  It didn't do 'anything' for me, meaning it takes much much more than 3 oz to feel intoxicated.  Although it did help me relax and sleep (I have severe insomnia issues).  I was talking about this with my best friend (of 15 years) last night and we actually got into a fight about it that has led to very abrasive text messages that were so insulting that I'm actually considering ending my friendship with her over it.  (it led to judgemental comments and name-calling).  I've never had a fight like this with her before so I'm quite upset about it.  I tried explaining placental physiology to her, that 2 oz is not harmful (she reacted like I told her that I had consumed 2 oz of liquid mercury or battery acid or something).  Anyway, I just wanted to get opinions.  Perhaps I'm the crazy one....

[dayiscoming2006]

In European countries it's normal to have a small amount of wine with a meal during pregnancy, just like they would normally drink wine with they meal. So, I say, whatever you are comfortable with. I've taken a sip or two of wine from time to time with a previous pregnancy and that helped with my nausea. I haven't bothered with it this time since I'm not really that nauseated. I actually hate the taste of alcohol, so that was as much as I could tolerate and since I didn't really need any more to settle my stomach a little. 

If my friend reacted to me that badly over something like that and her own misinformation and was unwilling to listen to reason and explanation about how alcohol effects you during pregnancy, I'd definitely cut off that friendship. That is ridiculous.

[sky_and_lavender]

First, while I can understand someone having a strong reaction to the issue of drinking alcohol during pregnancy, name calling is of course out of hand. How upsetting that would be! Maybe the issue triggered something in her and if you value her friendship you might want to discuss that with her.

Personally, because there is no way for people to know all the long term effects of drugs like alcohol on a developing fetus, and because there are more effective ways to improve sleep (even small amounts of alcohol disrupt our sleep patterns and reduce sleep's healing power, whether we are aware of it or not),  I would try to avoid even small amounts of alcohol during pregnancy, especially on any regular basis. Mothers drinking tiny amounts of alcohol during pregnancy probably will not have a severely negative effect on most future children, but there may be some who are more genetically vulnerable to various gene activations or changes and it's hard to know ahead of time which fetuses are vulnerable. There is such a short period in a fetus's and then child's life when we can give them an optimal environment and optimal nutrition--later they will have plenty of time to be exposed to potentially harmful things, whether we approve or not!

But a couple of ounces of alcohol once in a while are probably not the end of the world in most cases and it is a personal choice!

[JNajla]

I directed her to this article http://healthland.time.com/2012/06/20/alcohol-in-pregnancy-light-to-moderate-drinking-is-safe-study-says/ and several others like it.  She replied by telling me that I'm selfish, self-centered, and an idiot and that "everyone knows that drinking isn't allowed during pregnancy- that is just pregnancy 101".  I replied by telling her that I'm not 'drinking' and I didn't appreciate the judgements.  I felt like she was portraying me as some irresponsible unfit mother who was bellied up at the bar after work drinking a 6 pack of beer.  I felt like she was out of line.  I feel that there are probably other things going on with her feelings about this pregnancy, as she strongly encouraged me to get an abortion because of the marital problems that I've been having lately.  I kindly told her that I appreciated her concern, but that I didn't need any unsolicited advice.  The last few texts were so ridiclous that I'm not going to repeat them, but they were harsh and juvenile.  It makes me even more irritated that she doesn't respect my choices, especially knowing that I'm a master's prepared RN who worked as an MCH nurse prior to being a CNS.  I know how to take care of myself while pregnant.  I won't even take Tylenol for cripes sakes!  Like I said, I'm completely floored by the strong reaction, as we've never had a fight like this before and we are close as sisters.  It sadens me that I will lose one of the only "supports" that I had to begin with (although she wasn't supportive of my pregnancy, she was supportive in every other aspect). 

[SweetMama34]

To each his own, but I wouldn't ever do it. In the same breath, it's not my job to make that decision for other mamas! We all handle our pregnancies differently, are in different situations and have different beliefs. If someone judged me for any of my decisions, I'd make a point to distance myself from them immediately.

[willsmomm]

I don't drink at all anyway but I've heard a glass a day is fine. I'm sorry you and your friend had a falling out! That doesn't sound healthy.

[Tenk]

I've heard of many midwives that actually will encourage having a glass of wine to help relax before labor.  I have also had the occasional glass of wine when pregnant.  This is the 8th pregnancy that I've carried this far.  On Saturday (as a matter of fact) I had several small sips of wine ... we had a Progressive Christmas dinner party on our street AND someone made jello pudding shots (not sure what the liquor was that was in it) but it wasn't strong and I had never had one.  I do NOT feel that I did anything wrong.  I very rarely have a sip of wine and until now have been too sick to having some anyway, but I did Saturday and do not feel guilty at all.  For YEARS and YEARS women have had 2-3 small glasses a week while pregnant and in European countries they still continue to do this.  I would never suggest getting drunk or tipsy even but having a small amount won't hurt you or baby.  The main concern is fetal alcohol syndrome and I'm 100% sure my baby is not going to have FAS from the few sips of wine I had the other night *** oh and the pudding shot I had was not shot size but in one of those tiny paper cups you might get a sample of something in at a store.
 

[MommyThea]

I've not had wine while pregnant yet, but not because I'm not going to. Just for special occasions like Christmas dinner, or date night with dh, or later in the pregnancy when insomnia hits. That kind of thing.

My sister lives in Germany with the military and the drs over there actually prescribe 2-3oz of wine each night for those who have high risk pregnancies, and those who have blood pressure issues. They say only red wine for the effects but the occasional 1/2glass of white isn't going to hurt anything. :)

[BabySmurf]

I agree with the other posters.  It stinks that your friend reacted the way that she did.  My last pregnancy I had severe aversions to all types of alcohol, and thought it wise to listen to my body and not drink it, even though I don't have a problem with it in general.  This time around, my DH had a glass of wine, and it smelled so divine that I HAD to have a few sips - it hit the spot.  There are so many things that can be dangerous in pregnancy and we don't know the particular effects.  I choose to worry about what I have control over, with the caveat that it is impossible to avoid everything all the time.  If a sip of wine is going to help me relax and feel happy, then I will have the wine because I believe that the constant stress is more detrimental than the small amount of alcohol that I consumed.  At the same time, if drinking a small amount of alcohol is going to cause more stress than it relieves, then I would avoid it.  Hugs mama, I hope that you can sort out the issues that your friend is having!

[SweetMama34]

Just to add to this conversation - and it's a little off topic - but I actually crave wine during pregnancy. I don't even drink! I wouldn't give in, for a lot of person reasons, but it's so strange to me that I crave something that I don't even normally consume. I guess it's not that strange, as I crave a lot of other strange things that I don't normally consume - fresh lemons, red meat, green olives.

[Sweet Huck]

I totally crave wine, too. White wine specifically. And like you SweetMama, it's not something I normally have so it is a unique craving. Perhaps it's my body telling me I need something?

I personally think a few sips here and there are fine. I've had a small amount of wine so far and have never tasted anything so good. I sip my husband's whiskey, too. Don't tell your friend, JNajla!!!  

I figure pregnant women have been drinking alcohol for generation after generation. Warnings exist for a reason, it's true.... but the extreme recommendations are only a very recent thing, and a very American thing at that.  Across the board, though, to each their own! Hopefully we'll all end up fine in spite of the sips we have or don't have, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, the products we use .... etc., etc.

[shanna-cat]

I personally have drank in moderation with both my past two pregnancies and don't have a guilty conciouse over it. A glass of wine here and there, or a small glass of beer with dinner I believe is fine. I am just carefull who I tell this too, or who I do it around because I understand it's a 'sticky' issue with some and I am not at all confrontational so don't care to debate the issue.

I do however usually wait until after the first trimester, especially with this pregnancy where even the site of alcohol makes me start gagging.

This issue, like so many others during pregnancy is a personal choice and up to the parents. (as long as it's in moderation- I have no such feelings for mama's who purposefully put their LO's in danger by binge drinking or more than at most a glass or two a day)

[JNajla]

Thanks for your replies everyone.  That is how I feel too, Shanna-cat, that a balanced, healthy lifestyle (and all things in moderation) is important.  I have done a lot of research on this topic, but then started second guessing myself once I had this falling out with my friend.  I feel offended that someone would question my own personal judgement and decisions about my own body.  It seems like peope think that it is ok to 'police' what a pregnant woman does and I feel that it is very paternalistic and patronizing.  I understand her concern, but she took it too far....

[BabySmurf]

Originally Posted by JNajla 

Thanks for your replies everyone.  That is how I feel too, Shanna-cat, that a balanced, healthy lifestyle (and all things in moderation) is important.  I have done a lot of research on this topic, but then started second guessing myself once I had this falling out with my friend.  I feel offended that someone would question my own personal judgement and decisions about my own body.  It seems like peope think that it is ok to 'police' what a pregnant woman does and I feel that it is very paternalistic and patronizing.  I understand her concern, but she took it too far....

just wait until the baby is born  

[spotty4]

I had one incredibly weak mixed drink at a party last weekend.  I had asked for a vodka-orange-cranberry but w/o the vodka.  Well the bartender didn't hear the "w/o" part and just started to splash in the vodka when I stopped him.  There was probably a tablespoon in there.  I still took the drink.  It was so weak I couldn't even taste the vodka - it was delicious!  I have also indulged in a few glasses of virgin eggnog w/ it being the holidays and all.  I suppose that is a no-no too w/ the raw eggs in the mixture.  But w/ pasturization I'm not particularly concerned.

[MommyThea]

Ugh, now I'm really craving a good margarita.  

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by MommyThea 

Ugh, now I'm really craving a good margarita.  

Could always get a virgin one. :P

[MommyThea]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 

Originally Posted by MommyThea 

Ugh, now I'm really craving a good margarita.  

Could always get a virgin one. :P

But then it would be more like having kool-aid.  :) 

[BabySmurf]

I'm definitely planning on making eggnog soon...I will use pastured eggs though, so I'm not *as* worried about contamination.  I also rinse the egg shells first, since that's where the bacteria is.  But I also eat runny yokes on a regular basis too....

I also agree that "virgin" drinks aren't nearly as much fun as the real thing! I am content with just putting some kombucha or cranberry juice in a martini glass and calling it a drink...if I'm in the mood to be festive.  I haven't wanted more than a sip or two of wine yet, so it's more about feeling like I am indulging in something than anything else. 

[Sweet Huck]

BabySmurf! You can pasteurize your own eggs, too! MUCH cheaper than store bought ones! (http://www.kitchenproject.com/BBQ/PasteurizedEggs.htm)