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Help - 3 yr olds. foreskin was retracting, now won't?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone,


I really need some help.  My son is not circumcised.  That was my decision against his father's wishes.  The foreskin was beginning to retract slightly, but now won't at all.  Also, every once in a while he complains that his penis hurts although it is always better in a matter of moments.  We saw the Dr. today and he says he doesn't see anything wrong, however he did go right to the option of a circumcision which of course I would still be strongly against unless there was some real reason.  It concerns me that this was the first suggestion from the doctor even though he said we could wait until my son is five to see what happens.


So my questions are:


Has anyone ever experienced this and was there anything to worry about?


Where/how would I find a doctor who is more well versed in the uncircumcised penis?  I feel that I need a second opinion.


I've been reading through this thread and so happy to find a group who seems to be knowledgeable about this.


Thank you in advance for any guidance you can offer.

post #2 of 4

Hi - and welcome!


You have nothing to worry about. Your son's foreskin will fully detach in nature's good time. No penis is the clone of another. Even identical twins are different in minor ways.


Just don't try to force it back, ever. If he complains of 'hurting' it's almost certainly only a 'sensation' - especially if he has an erection at the time. I hope this helps you.



post #3 of 4

Hi OP, Welcome.


Did you know that the average age of retraction is 10 years old? Also, it is not unusual in childhood for a foreskin that was previously retractable to become unretractable. Foreskins are not "needed" until puberty and over the years of puberty is when a child's foreskin will gradually develop into a foreskin with adult function. 




I think it is often difficult to find out who is and isn't a foreskin friendly doctor. I know the doctors at my hospital were very supportive of the idea of not circumcising newborns. But on the other hand they are still quite ignorant on foreskin physiology and overreact to anything foreskin related. I was constantly being told that we would have to "watch" my son's penis - as if it was a ticking time bomb! I guess my point is is that I think some doctors who have been labelled foreskin-friendly may be supportive and non-judgemental and despite that still be ignorant about how to care for minor foreskin concerns. Really, what is necessary is to become the expert on your son's foreskin and to defend him against medical ignorance. Geez, that sounds more pessimistic than I intended it too. Sorry. But seriously, what you need is a respectful practitioner that accepts your expertise as a parent and will include you as a team-member in medical decision making. I think if you find that then you don't necessarily need someone who is "foreskin-friendly".


Also, you could ask in the Finding Your Tribe section of this forum...

post #4 of 4
one of my friends told me that his penis really hurt due to the foreskin not being retracted until he was 21. he had been suffering in silence for that long

I am the only one that he has ever told.

if I asked he would probably say that he is still glad he wasn't cirmcised
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