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Ideas for our situation

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

We have 3 kids, 5, almost 3 and 15 months.  I'm also 12 weeks pregnant with #4.  We've coslept for a year with all our kids then moved then into their crib and own room.  With our first we did CIO at a year and it was a dream, she was sleeping through the night within a couple days, loved to go to bed, no issues.  With our second,, I got pregnant when he was 10 months, so I night weaned him before we moved him into the crib.  He wouldn't fall asleep in the crib at all, we tried 1 night of CIO and it was horrible.  Took him out of the crib and moved him into bed with dd, it got a little better but still 30 minutes of crying before he'd fall asleep.  And multiple wake ups at night.  #3 moved out of our room at 10 months, it was going so, so good!  I could walk him to sleep, lay him down and he'd be out for a few hours.  Then he'd come into our room when he awoke and spend the rest of the night with us. 



We have all 3 kids in 1 room, the bigs have bunk beds and the baby is in a crib.  Bedtime used to be okay, I could lay #3 down and rock his butt till he fell asleep.  He's always woken up a lot though.  And our big kids still wake up at least once a night.  When I got pregnant DH took over all night time duty from the time he got home at 1230pm.  No nursing for the baby after that, dh can get him back in his bed most nights okay.  


Now though, #3 fusses for an hour, in my arms while nursing and rocking, until he falls asleep.  We've tried a small amount of CIO but he screams so so loud and with the other kids in the room it's not fair.  He wakes up every hour or 2, and sometimes won't fall back asleep for hours.  The big kids are getting up too, and we're not getting any sleep.  DH gets home, takes #3 back to bed, the other kids wake up an hour later and come into our room, he brings them back.  Baby is back up an hour after that, dh ends up falling asleep on the kids floor.  He's exhausted because he's up so often with them, I'm exhausted because I have a hard time falling back asleep after they've woken up.  The kids seem fine though, #3 naps for about an hour, kids are in bed around 7, usually everyone is asleep by 8, and they're all up by about 630.  


Last night #3 was up from 930 to 1230, the other kids came into the room about 1100, #1 fell asleep in our bed and #2 stayed awake until dh got home.  DH got #2 and #3 asleep pretty easily but then #1 was up for an hour.  Then #2 got up at 5 and went into my moms room until coming to get us at almost 6.  



Sorry if it's all jumbled and hard to understand, I am so tired and still having bad MS from baby #4.  l

post #2 of 6
Thread Starter 

Just want to clairify, we never did full out CIO, leaving them alone.  We were in the room with them.  And only after they were a year. 

post #3 of 6

While MDC does not welcome members promotion of CIO,  


Please appreciate that this forum is not a place to uphold or advocate CIO (Crying It Out). Posting personal preferences for and encouragement of the use of CIO and similar sleep training methods are not acceptable. Posts of that nature will be edited by the member upon request or will be removed.


what you are describing, even when it comes to your first DC, does not sound like straight-up CIO the way that I understand it. I would still ask that you proceed with caution when it comes to posts that advocate for even in-room CIO. 


That said, I know that that is not what you are trying for with your 3rd child. To me it sounds like a temperament issue. Both of my children were frequent wake-ers. There was really nothing I did that improved it that other than time. I think I would probably try to address the night-awakeness more than the frequency of waking. Are you doing some sort of deam feeding where you just nurse without picking the baby up? Or perhaps a situation where the youngest is cared for in a super mellow way, encouraging him to go back to sleep rather than getting up for so long at night? 


Another thought would be to nurse the youngest on demand at night (for now) and have everyone in the one room. Keep the lights off and just stay in there, being is quiet and gentle as you can. Making it clear to everyone that even with a little commotion or fussing from a sibling, everyone stays asleep. I realize this doesn't get you too much closer to the ultimate goal of DH doing the nighttime parenting but I think I'd want to break this night waking pattern first. 


Or!! What about you sleeping in the other room with the baby?  


Does any of this help? 

post #4 of 6

Can you move the baby back into bed with you?

post #5 of 6

divide and conquer. Dh takes the older two and the baby shares your room. mpve the crib in with you annd buy a twin for dh now and the baby later

post #6 of 6
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

divide and conquer. Dh takes the older two and the baby shares your room. mpve the crib in with you annd buy a twin for dh now and the baby later



That's what we do with our 4. Each parent takes 2 kids at night. 

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