Kindof hoping for specific gender, usually a planner, could you hold out and not find out? - Page 2

[J and Js mommy]

We found out with our first 2 pregnancies that we were having boys. Yeah, I always wanted boys. I thought hubby wanted a girl the second time but he always says he doesn't care. Unfortunately our second died at 37 weeks so I ABSOLUTELY want another boy. I'm surprised that I care so much about the sex, their health and making it in the world is what matters. But I guess I want my little boy. I do get PPD and I'm a super planner (I obviously have everything I need for a boy) so I'm sure we will find out. I don't think I can deal with the anxiety of not knowing. The whole family wants a girl sooo bad. If we don't find out I don't want to be so proud of having a healthy boy in my arms and hearing rude comments like oh another boy. I just couldn't handle that. If we do have a girl the fam is going to super spoil her and I will need time to process it. Hubby is super protective so I can't imagine a girl. Our 2 yo

[J and Js mommy]

Continued... Our 2 year old keeps saying he wants a gurl. So cute. Typing this really makes me excited for the 20 wk marker

[allisonrose]

I have two boys and am pregnant with my third child. We did find out with #1 and #2. I did feel some disappointment when we found out we were having a boy the second time. We are planning to find out this time because I worry that if we found out at the birth that there would still be a bit of disappointment and I don't want that to be part of my memories of the birth. We will also need some time to come up with a boy's name!

[porcelina]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I am definitely leaning towards not finding out--I just hope I can hold out until the end! Words of encouragement welcome! Lol!

[greenemami]

I found out both times.  I wasn't going to the second time, but knew the shock of having a boy would kind of floor me and, sure enough, it was a boy and I was very suprised :)

On the one hand, I was glad I found out and dealt with the mixed feelings while I was still pregnant.  I don't know how I would have reacted if I went the whole pregnancy plannign on a girl and then found out he was a boy on top of a long labor,etc. 

On the other, I am sad I never got a chance to be surprised at the birth.  If we have another (not planning on it) I will definitely let it be a surprise this time, but it would be easier for me because I wouldn't be hoping for one or the other. 

[amiemarie7]

My suggestion is that if you do find out, ask them to wait until the end. That way you can enjoy your scan and see your baby without any disappointment. Maybe by the end of the scan, you will be connected enough where you wont even care. Telling the gender right away, IMO, is not a good experience if you are hoping for a certain gender.

Another option, if finances allow, is to not find out gender and wait till the third trimester for a private gender scan. If you can afford, seeing a 3d pic might melt away any disappointment. If not able, many places will scan for gender only for $50. This way you will have enjoyed your pregnancy, gotten attached to your baby, and still will have everything ready in terms of planning and getting ready.

I do hope that seeing a baby will melt anything negative away, but I have heard a few that were so sure it was what they hoped for, that when it was the opposite at birth, they did take some time to bond. I think that is the minority, but with all those hormones, I would still consider it. Good luck and congratulations.

[J and Js mommy]

When do u have your scan porcelina? I know u might not find out but just wondering as we r close. Mine- 3/8

[porcelina]

Hi J and J's Mommy! -- well, I just got blood drawn for the Maternit21 trisomy screening and they do give gender results if you want them! I am thinking I will ask her to send me the results in the mail so I can decide whether to open them, and if I do, I would do it with my hubby rather than just listening to the results over the phone. I don't have my 20 scan set up yet...
 

[J and Js mommy]

Porcelina they did a big blood draw at 14 weeks for me-I didnt even ask what it was for, 5 viles. Was part of that trisomy 21? Not sure if that is standard? U think I could find out now if I wanted? Wait a minute nevermind that would not make any sense. Haha on me. I can wait until march 8, 27 days to go.

[skycheattraffic]

The big blood test for me was routine baseline stuff: iron, fasting glucose, immunities and I think screening for STDs. The genetic type testing isn't standard (at least here), it's something they offer but will not insist on. DH and I have declined the screenings because we feel that the results wouldn't change how we proceed with the pregnancy. I think you probably need to ask if you're interested in the additional screenings.

[MrsGregory]

I'm happy to read this thread;  we're starting to plan a second in the far-flung future (which I'm sure will be here before we know it), and I thought it would be fun to be surprised at birth, however, I will, honestly, be a little disappointed with a boy.  But I am certain that no matter who pops out, I'll love them to pieces, so I am really leaning towards a surprise.  How fun!
 

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by MrsGregory 

I'm happy to read this thread;  we're starting to plan a second in the far-flung future (which I'm sure will be here before we know it), and I thought it would be fun to be surprised at birth, however, I will, honestly, be a little disappointed with a boy.  But I am certain that no matter who pops out, I'll love them to pieces, so I am really leaning towards a surprise.  How fun!
 

MrsGregory, we were in the September 10 DDC together! Congratulations on your second pregnancy!

As someone put it, I think it is more disappointment about a reality that may never be (raising a particular gender, whichever it is) that one feels, rather than disappointment at the one you do get.

But, I am really not sure I will be able to resist finding out...especially if the results may be so close at hand! Even though I am assuming it will be the third boy, I can't help but wonder...

[Jillgayle]

Just saw this thread, usually on the August DDC.  We waited to find out with DS#1 and will with #2 too! We really enjoy the surprise at the end and everyone's guesses throughout the pregnancy.  The best part was when I delivered and pulled my baby up to my chest and I was the one able to announce, It's a Boy!  

BTW I am a complete planner in every other aspect of my life, so it even surprises me that i don't feel such a strong desire to know right now. 

[MrsGregory]

Oh, I"m sorry for giving the wrong impression, I'm not pregnant right.  Soon, we hope, but not right now. 
 

[Aradia88]

Im a planner too! I dont like Surprises, i like organization and planning things out. I need to know if im having a boy or a girl so i can start buying boy or girl clothes. Not too much because i already have both gender clothing at home. I would buy just a few things in different sizes.

[porcelina]

Originally Posted by MrsGregory 

Oh, I"m sorry for giving the wrong impression, I'm not pregnant right.  Soon, we hope, but not right now. 

 

Oops, sorry about that. Your post is a actually quite clear, I guess I read too fast!! Good luck in your efforts TTC!!