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Can we start a chat thread?

post #1 of 64
Thread Starter 

I don't want a thread just for me...I want a place to chat about what's up for us on any given day....a place to check in with other mamas while we're on our journey, but with those things that aren't SO important that they need their own thread.

 

Anyone in?

 

I'll start....

 

Had a prenatal today with the hospital midwives. This was supposed to be the appointment that made me go, "For SURE, I want a home birth now." Instead, I realized how awesome these midwives and hospital can be. I can birth any way I want, with no interventions - no fetal monitoring beyond doppler needed, no need to take baby off my chest for an exam (unless there's distress, of course), I can labor and even deliver in the tub if I want to. The "no water birth" policy is simply to protect our babies...the tubs are shallow, so if mom arches up in a push and baby takes a breath and then is dunked back under....no good. I get it. I agree. BUT, this midwife admitted to delivering babies in the water if it looked safe to do so. And if not, she drains the tub - but won't make mom move. Granted, that's not as awesome as a full water birth - but still. It was amazing to hear that I had options.

 

Still, leaning toward home birth - need to go sit down with that midwife and go from there. I have time.

 

I've lost weight - but nobody is concerned. Nothing else was exciting at this appointment.

 

In other news - my 7 year old is super struggling these days and my heart just absolutely aches for him. He had to be pried out of my arms when leaving to visit his father today, and I just sat and cried my heart out until I was exhausted. Two minutes later (if even), my phone starts to blow up with people checking in on me. The mall that I live near, that I've taken my children to regularly for 9+ years now - had a shooter on the loose. It was horrible. Maybe you all heard about it on the news. Three people dead, one injured, 60 rounds shot. It could have been so much worse - but still. People are dead. Last Thursday, my children were standing right in the exact spot the shooting occured. There's a pond/wishing well right there - we were all throwing in our wishes. Mine? "I wish for a safe and healthy family." - thank GOD I wished for that, right? It gave me chills when I pulled up the picture I took that day.

 

So, I'm kind of sad tonight. Really rattled. I wanted to go do some Christmas shopping for my boys while they were gone tonight, but I haven't felt good about leaving the house. My husband has been at work since 3:30 and I miss him terribly, too. He'll be home soon, and I'm hoping I can stay awake long enough to enjoy being in his arms for awhile. Maybe I'll make a fire and snuggle in for a movie.

 

Whew! See? I had a lot to say! I'd love to hear from the rest of you....

post #2 of 64
Oh honey, what a day. Awesome you have such great birth choices. Wish I could chat longer but gonna roll over and sleep now. Peace.
post #3 of 64
Oh SweetMama! What a day.. I'm glad that you have some great options! We also are doing a hospital birth with midwives. We had a hospital birth with my first, and it was awesome. No complaints whatsoever. So I'm happy to do it again! I'm sorry about the shooter at the Mall.. I'll pray for continued safety for your family.

This is kind of what's going on with me.. I am currently on a modified bed rest right now.. Good 'ol sub chorionic hematoma.. Found out about it at a dating scan last week. I was scared at first but reassured when I talked to my midwife. But I got the ultrasound results back today, and found out that its about 6cmx4.5cm not quite sure if that's big or not. I haven't talked to my midwife about it yet. (Their secretary puts the results up on our online file) so I'm not sure of they've seen it yet. Hoping that she will call me tomorrow to talk to me about it. Also!! The scan said my EDD should come up about 8 days.. That would make me like 16w6d right now.. Or something like that. Which is crazy. Not sure how accurate the dating ultrasounds are at 14weeks as they kind of take an average. So I wanna talk to the midwife about that too. Ugh.. I will have to wait til tomorrow I guess!

I like a chat thread! It's nice to say what's on our minds smile.gif
post #4 of 64
Thread Starter 

Mama4life - waiting is tough! I had a SCH with my last son - and bedrest for a week or so at a time. I could come off bedrest after the bleeding stopped. I think it was three times total throughout the pregnancy. That week would really be rough, though - especially with a toddler in my care all day! I hope you get good answers tomorrow.

 

Thank you both for being so sweet. I'm strangely lonely these days...not sure what that's all about, either. Maybe I'm just feeling mostly introverted? Talking to people via email/text/message boards seems to be what I can handle. SO not like me!

post #5 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetMama34 View Post

Thank you both for being so sweet. I'm strangely lonely these days...not sure what that's all about, either. Maybe I'm just feeling mostly introverted? Talking to people via email/text/message boards seems to be what I can handle. SO not like me!

I went through a phase like this a few weeks ago. It hasn't completely cleared up but it is getting better. For me I think it is also associated with the time of year and see me going outward after the solstice.

Thank you for starting the chat thread!! I wanted to share that I heard the heart beat yesterday with a Doppler. Previously I had heard it at the u/s but this seems more real to me! I was surprised after talking with the dr (not my primary ob) that he would recommend a less hands on approach and seems to think there is not reason why my body is not capable of a home birth if that is what I want. (it is). It felt so good to know I have such supportive obs in my area.

Really starting to feel pregnant, the last few days I have felt like crud and unable to eat. All I want is hot and sour soup. ???????
post #6 of 64
Mmmhh hot and sour soup sounds good. I can't sleep and got my LO to bed early tonight so I know I'll be paying for it tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be in a better mood for it. One of us needs to sleep anyway. Lol.
post #7 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by FarmerMomma View Post

Mmmhh hot and sour soup sounds good. I can't sleep and got my LO to bed early tonight so I know I'll be paying for it tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be in a better mood for it. One of us needs to sleep anyway. Lol.

Lol! I did the same thing last night, put LO to bed early and stayed up.. Now he is awake and I am tired.. But he really needed a good sleep. And he seems to be quite happy this morning already. I can handle being tired as long as he is not a grump grump!
post #8 of 64
Thread Starter 

Yeay for hearing the hb via Doppler, amlikam! It's such a sweet, sweet sound, isn't it? :)

 

I didn't sleep worth beans last night. I dreamed that I looked the killer in the eye. I'm seriously distraught over this shooting. This mall was a place that I seriously felt safe taking my kids - there's a little play area that I'd let my toddler run around in while I nursed my infant son. As they grew older, it's our movie and lunch date spot. We just saw Santa and had a treat afterward. It never felt unsafe, and now I can't imagine walking back in there ever again. There are no guarantees in this life, I know - but I prefer living in a state of oblivion vs. a state of fear.

post #9 of 64

I am with you but the other way, Little one and I were asleep by 9 but I woke up at like 245 to soothe her and couldn't go back to sleep until 630 when I needed to get up for work... YAWN

What's up with the no sleep for all of us? Wondering what the little people inside us are doing?

post #10 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetMama34 View Post

Yeay for hearing the hb via Doppler, amlikam! It's such a sweet, sweet sound, isn't it? :)

 

I didn't sleep worth beans last night. I dreamed that I looked the killer in the eye. I'm seriously distraught over this shooting. This mall was a place that I seriously felt safe taking my kids - there's a little play area that I'd let my toddler run around in while I nursed my infant son. As they grew older, it's our movie and lunch date spot. We just saw Santa and had a treat afterward. It never felt unsafe, and now I can't imagine walking back in there ever again. There are no guarantees in this life, I know - but I prefer living in a state of oblivion vs. a state of fear.


That has to be so awful! I am seriously stunned by the frequency that we are seeing this happen recently...It used to be HUGE news and thankfully rare...now I swear there's another story every couple of months.  Crazy.  I totally agree that it's one thing to know that bad things can happen...it's something completely different to KNOW bad things can happen, kwim?

I've had a lot of people in my life pass away from everything from cancer to car accidents to freak accidents to strokes to old age, and it has always made me feel like I should be savoring every day...but I can't IMAGINE what it would be like to loose someone from an act of violence like that. Or even just have it happen so close to home. 
 

 

For some reason I have been having anxiety dreams about how much weight I have gained...which is weird because it's not something I'm consciously worried about.  I had a dream the night before last that I had gained 40 pounds and that I was in "trouble" at my appointment.  Then I weighed in at my appointment last night and I have gained a little more than 10 pounds since conception...I was trying to gain weight, though...I've gained about 15 so far (5 pounds the month before we conceived, which is why I think that we were ABLE to conceive).  So it was weird to see that I have gain nearly 20 pounds in the past few months (I know I haven't actually gained 20 yet, but I was in the 120's and now I'm in the 140's, so visually it looks like it)....I was hoping to stay closer to the recommended weight gain this time around, but I'm skeptical about that now....although my appetite has definitely tanked since DS has curbed his nursing a lot...so maybe the gain will taper off for now.  My last pregnancy I gained 50 pounds. 

post #11 of 64

I've been having VIVID, strange dreams lately.... and sometimes about ex-boyfriends  mischievous.gif   Anyone else?  I sleep about 8.5 hours but still finding myself exhausted during the day.  I have an appt on Friday, I'm going to have a CBC drawn to make sure that I'm not still anemic. 

post #12 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by amlikam View Post


I went through a phase like this a few weeks ago. It hasn't completely cleared up but it is getting better. For me I think it is also associated with the time of year and see me going outward after the solstice.
Thank you for starting the chat thread!! I wanted to share that I heard the heart beat yesterday with a Doppler. Previously I had heard it at the u/s but this seems more real to me! I was surprised after talking with the dr (not my primary ob) that he would recommend a less hands on approach and seems to think there is not reason why my body is not capable of a home birth if that is what I want. (it is). It felt so good to know I have such supportive obs in my area.
Really starting to feel pregnant, the last few days I have felt like crud and unable to eat. All I want is hot and sour soup. ???????

 

I've been having cravings for hot and sour soup too, amlikam!!!

 

And I feel huge - I popped super early. I'm already in maternity pants. And when the clock hits 8:30 p.m., I'm completely out.

post #13 of 64

I've had nightmares or at least dreams that make me very upset in some way. I woke up crying in the middle of the night a few nights ago because I'd just had like 5 consecutive dreams about different ways my partner had left me, cheated on me, had children with someone else etc. Last night I spent most of the night dreaming about being "hunted" by various groups of people for various reasons. I've always had very vivid dreams, so I'm used to that part of it. Just lately they are upsetting and I've been waking up feeling tired, sad, scared, angry. I hope it passes soon.

post #14 of 64
Thread Starter 

I have vivid dreams a lot, too. They're less often compared to early on in my first trimester - I think I'm sleeping better lately. Usually, they're really good dreams - because I make sure to read a little bit of 50 Shades of Grey before bed. blush.gif I resisted reading it for a long time, but I just had to see what all the hype was about - and DH got me a copy. LOL

 

I really, really want hot and sour soup now, too! Does anyone have a tried and true recipe? Or a store bought mix that's good?

post #15 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetMama34 View Post

Yeay for hearing the hb via Doppler, amlikam! It's such a sweet, sweet sound, isn't it? :)

 

I didn't sleep worth beans last night. I dreamed that I looked the killer in the eye. I'm seriously distraught over this shooting. This mall was a place that I seriously felt safe taking my kids - there's a little play area that I'd let my toddler run around in while I nursed my infant son. As they grew older, it's our movie and lunch date spot. We just saw Santa and had a treat afterward. It never felt unsafe, and now I can't imagine walking back in there ever again. There are no guarantees in this life, I know - but I prefer living in a state of oblivion vs. a state of fear.

My DH is a Fire Fighter and we live in SC as of May of this year.  He works with guys that are Cops too.  After this incident DH came home from work and told me he was going to take a conceal carry class and would like me to take it with him.  As much as I've been against it in the past, I'm not now.  I know this will be a difference in opinions here and I'm ok with that too.  We live close to Savannah, GA and in September there was a Fair (carnival) there.  My oldest daughter went down with our neighbors and while they were there a teenage boy went on a shooting rampage and KILLED at least 3 people and wounded 10.  My daughter saw the shooter, and saw people bleeding out.  She was also born, in Colorado during the Columbine shooting in April 1999.  The only mall near to us is Savannah.  So, he wants me to carry when I take the kids out.  Of course we will be careful and make sure our kids do not have access to the gun(s) but I grew up around them and this is the right step for us.

post #16 of 64

Good for you Tenk. My husband conceals but it isn't for me. He is a noticer & I am just usually oblivious while walking around. I'm also not comfortable w/ the responsibility it entails & I also don't wear pants; if you've not got a belt on it's more difficult to conceal. I'm glad he & others do though.

post #17 of 64
I think it's a very good idea to conceal carry. I haven't heard of anyone doing it in Alberta where I live.. But I'm sure there are lots of people who do. My DH has a lot of guns at home (locked up of course) for hunting. I even have a gun of my own. I am not above getting a shotgun if someone ever broke into my house. Even if its just to scare the person away! We live in a day and age where anything can happen anywhere.
post #18 of 64
Thread Starter 

I realize I'll probably be in the minority, but I hate guns and wish they'd all be destroyed. I have very personal reasons for this...and I believe if someone has walked through what I have, they'd probably feel similarly. I'm not out to get anyone to agree with me...just talking for the sake of talking, I suppose. I'm just absolutely terrified that guns are out there at all. The devastation they contribute to is beyond any benefit I can understand. :(

 

There's something about being pregnant, bringing a new life into this world and realizing how messed up it really is. I almost feel guilty. Then again, I have children who can make a difference someday - they are more than worth their while on this earth. I can feel good about that, right?

post #19 of 64

I grew up with guns hanging on the wall in my parents room. They were for hunting birds and shooting bad animals. We lived in the country. People hunted for food where I'm originally from and I think a gun is good to have for protection because the reality is that there are guns out there and the only way to be able to protect yourself against a gun is to have a gun. I appreciate those who carry guns responsibly. I wouldn't actually carry one, but I support those who do. Even if guns were outlawed, the criminals will still have them off the black market and the government will still have them. That's reality. It's safer if good people have access too. That's why the second amendment is in place. A responsible gun carrier can stop a shooter and that would save people's lives. 

post #20 of 64
Thread Starter 

Honestly not trying to debate, because as I said - I have very real reasons for my fear and viewpoint on all of this, and I realize I'm in the minority. For as long as I'm alive, I'm sure there will be guns everywhere. That's my own issue to deal with.

 

My husband and I were talking about what you just brought up today, though - and I'm curious what others think - that a responsible gun carrying citizen carries a gun to protect themselves or others. We actually have very dear friends who carry, but out of respect to me will leave the guns in a locked car when we're together.

 

Anyhow, does that mean that none of the 10,000 people at the mall that day were carrying? My theory is that while carrying a gun for protection may be a good idea, how many people are going to approach a shooter and take care of business? Even in the military, trained soldiers are known to run the other way. It's not as simple as it sounds, and I have yet to hear of an awesome story involving a gun. I only know awful ones. :(

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