I don't want a thread just for me...I want a place to chat about what's up for us on any given day....a place to check in with other mamas while we're on our journey, but with those things that aren't SO important that they need their own thread.
Had a prenatal today with the hospital midwives. This was supposed to be the appointment that made me go, "For SURE, I want a home birth now." Instead, I realized how awesome these midwives and hospital can be. I can birth any way I want, with no interventions - no fetal monitoring beyond doppler needed, no need to take baby off my chest for an exam (unless there's distress, of course), I can labor and even deliver in the tub if I want to. The "no water birth" policy is simply to protect our babies...the tubs are shallow, so if mom arches up in a push and baby takes a breath and then is dunked back under....no good. I get it. I agree. BUT, this midwife admitted to delivering babies in the water if it looked safe to do so. And if not, she drains the tub - but won't make mom move. Granted, that's not as awesome as a full water birth - but still. It was amazing to hear that I had options.
Still, leaning toward home birth - need to go sit down with that midwife and go from there. I have time.
I've lost weight - but nobody is concerned. Nothing else was exciting at this appointment.
In other news - my 7 year old is super struggling these days and my heart just absolutely aches for him. He had to be pried out of my arms when leaving to visit his father today, and I just sat and cried my heart out until I was exhausted. Two minutes later (if even), my phone starts to blow up with people checking in on me. The mall that I live near, that I've taken my children to regularly for 9+ years now - had a shooter on the loose. It was horrible. Maybe you all heard about it on the news. Three people dead, one injured, 60 rounds shot. It could have been so much worse - but still. People are dead. Last Thursday, my children were standing right in the exact spot the shooting occured. There's a pond/wishing well right there - we were all throwing in our wishes. Mine? "I wish for a safe and healthy family." - thank GOD I wished for that, right? It gave me chills when I pulled up the picture I took that day.
So, I'm kind of sad tonight. Really rattled. I wanted to go do some Christmas shopping for my boys while they were gone tonight, but I haven't felt good about leaving the house. My husband has been at work since 3:30 and I miss him terribly, too. He'll be home soon, and I'm hoping I can stay awake long enough to enjoy being in his arms for awhile. Maybe I'll make a fire and snuggle in for a movie.
Whew! See? I had a lot to say! I'd love to hear from the rest of you....