do you allow your child to sleep in your room after a nightmare? - Page 3

[redcanary]

Originally Posted by indigosky 

Thanks, Meepycat. I agree about how it helps to get your brain doing some other stuff before going back to sleep. I try to do that with DD, too, but I like some of your ideas and I think I'll add in even more of them.
The reality is that sleeping in our room at 4 a.m. (the time she had her most recent nightmare±) isn't a big deal -- we're not working then. What I want to avoid is having her fall back into a pattern of wanting to be in our room all the time, since we just recently managed to end that pattern and we were all feeling good about it. (The Floppy Sleep Game CD rocks! Or is is it the Sleepy Flop Game? I always get mixed up.) But maybe they're two completely different issues -- I'm open to a policy that says, "You can come into our room in X situation/time but not Y situation/time." I just don't want to turn it into a constant begging/negotiating/explaining/reminding about the policy thing, and it feels like there's some risk of that. Of course I hated being alone and scared after a nightmare, too. I wasn't mad at my parents, but I was still scared.

I understand about not wanting to fall back into the pattern - when my 5yo daughter started having nightmares now and then, I worried that she would get into the habit of coming to our bed and we'd have to do the beg/negotiate...etc... For us, when she comes to our bed, no one sleeps well and we all get really cranky with each other. She knows that too, so when she has nightmares once and a while and asked to come in, I gently remind her of it! But I never ever leave her alone awake and scared. We get up, pee, have a drink of water, lots of hugs... Sometimes if she's really upset and says she doesn't want to be alone, I sit with her with her christmas lights on and we go through her whole basket of stuffed animals. I talk about each one, and line them all up against the wall on her bed and say how they're all there to keep her company. We call them her friends. One at a time, the bear goes to sit with curious george, the duck with the doll...etc. Even if it takes an hour before I can go back to bed, it's worth it because we will all sleep better. She really likes it, she turns over to face the wall with all her friends lined up with her. I leave the christmas lights on so she doesn't fall asleep in the dark. I always go back if she needs me. This seems to work well for us, everyone gets to sleep happily :)

[salr]

"Ive actually never had that happen.  i wouldnt let the boys stay in my room.  DD still sleeps with us most of the time but if she was over 4 and in her own room i would help her back to bed. i wouldnt want to make a habit of coming into my room every night.  we sleep with our door locked anyway"

Sharlla, you keep your door locked and your kids are in their own separate rooms?  I'm wondering what your reasoning is for locking the door.  Are you a light sleeper?  I would worry that in case of an emergency my kids wouldn't be able to get to me. 

[mummamilk]

A good nights sleep was most important for me. There is no way I was waking up and walking down the hall to feed a baby. My babies all slept with us (king size bed) until they were sleeping all night in their own beds. The golden rule in our house is "don't wake mommy." Our door is always open (we would freeze if it was shut) Most of the time they just climbed into our bed and went back to sleep. After they weaned themselves they were taught to get a snack or drink if they were hungry in the middle of the night. My daughter had those night terrors, but she would just fall right back to sleep.

[kayleesmom]

I lay down next to them till they go back to sleep but if they wake up later the same nite I will let them sleep In our room. Although my son still sleeps with us at nite and is almost 4 we are going to hopefully trasition him soon to his own bed.