Hello. I figured we could all talk about our dating experiences in this thread. I won't be posting for a little while yet probably, but I wanted to create a place where we could discuss our fears, insecurities, new-found happiness, and successes.
Happy dating everyone <3
I tried dating and its tough! I felt like I was either hurting someones feelings or getting mine hurt. I am gearing up to try again :)
Yeah, it's hard to date again.
I'm working on my self esteem before I brave the waters ;)
I love dating so I'm sure I'm in the minority.
I had a first date on Friday with a guy who has a daughter the same age as mine. We went to dinner and while I had a good time, he's "friend" material. He is definitely a "nice guy" who is used to finishing last. I was pleasantly surprised that he didnt bash his estranged wife (going through divorce), but he gave TMI on the date about his overall dating experiences. He's been cheated on or used alot and typically seeks women he can "fix". I could tell before he confirmed. Needless to say, he totally killed my sex drive toward him so he's permanently friend zone.
I'm 29 and have been meeting mostly younger men or guys in their early 40s. I really prefer men in their early 30s. The guy I went out with is 34, fyi.
I love dating so I'm sure I'm in the minority.
I had a first date on Friday with a guy who has a daughter the same age as mine. We went to dinner and while I had a good time, he's "friend" material. He is definitely a "nice guy" who is used to finishing last. I was pleasantly surprised that he didnt bash his estranged wife (going through divorce), but he gave TMI on the date about his overall dating experiences. He's been cheated on or used alot and typically seeks women he can "fix". I could tell before he confirmed. Needless to say, he totally killed my sex drive toward him so he's permanently friend zone.
I'm 29 and have been meeting mostly younger men or guys in their early 40s. I really prefer men in their early 30s. The guy I went out with is 34, fyi.
I actually ended up going out on New Year's and it was fun. The guy I hung out with was great, but I didn't feel a 'draw' towards him. I think it's too early for me to have feelings of 'connection' with someone, but it was a nice night nonetheless.
Been apart from exhusband since Jan 2010. Dated someone that year for 6 months, ended up he was married (separated) and went back to her. :( Next guy I dated 16 months and he dumped me in a horrible, horrible way. After being single for 9 months, I met a guy in September and now dating him for the last 3 months and so far so good. He has been divorced for 16 years. He is very caring and thoughtful and a little older than me. We are like two peas in a pod and I care deeply for him.
I went out with one of these guys also. Whew, not something I want to get involved in I tell ya that!
between my waaayyyy demanding job I left about 7 months ago (I was lucky to get 4hrs of sleep a night. I'd often work from 12am-4/6am, nap if possible, wake up kids and take them to school, work 8am-6pm, pickup kids while fielding emails and phone calls, nap from 8-10 and repeat) and ex being crazy and young kids...and I was really shy and not good at dating to begin with...
I really haven't.
I had a office affair right after split, and a long distance thing with a sales guy but before anything happened he had a girl from his past show up and he chose her. he continued to flirt and have long convos with me and meet me for dinner several times when I was in town - but nothing happened.
so I've basically been single for 5yrs now. I'm kinda torn, because I'm not getting any cuter here....and my first boyfriend (ever) and my ex were both very passive agressive and would withhold sex as punishment it seems. it's honestly amazing I have 2 kids. I went to therapist a few months before we seperated and told her "dude, if I hadn't gotten him drunk and didn't take no for an answer I wouldn't have #2. we had sex ONE time in 36 months" and she was gobsmacked and ex shrugged like it wasn't anything odd. *headscratch*
and I would actually try (I finally gave up) EVERY NIGHT to initiate and be rebuffed until after a month or longer i'd get "ok, but make it quick"
ugh.
at the same time however, I am raising the kiddos with no help, making really good money at my job, I have savings and my life in order. my tolerance for BS is at nearly 0 level these days.
oh, don't like me working late one night? it bugs you I can't hang out tonight because I need to go out of town for work or deal with kids? you don't like my bookcases where they are? don't let the door hit you....
you know?
I don't need a man for anything...I've replummed and rewired half my house, I can change a flat in 5min wearing heels, I do the kids on my own, I built a bunkbed (and loaded and unloaded from car) by myself and hauled a giant 6'x7' entertainment center across my house.
so putting up with ANYONE's drama at this point gives me hives. LOL.....I think part of it is the fact i've only had men that were full of drama and all that.
I keep (half) joking I ought to put an ad in CL and say "come bang me like a screen door in a hurricane and take the trash out when you leave....no staying the night"
hahahhaaa....
between my waaayyyy demanding job I left about 7 months ago (I was lucky to get 4hrs of sleep a night. I'd often work from 12am-4/6am, nap if possible, wake up kids and take them to school, work 8am-6pm, pickup kids while fielding emails and phone calls, nap from 8-10 and repeat) and ex being crazy and young kids...and I was really shy and not good at dating to begin with...
I really haven't.
I had a office affair right after split, and a long distance thing with a sales guy but before anything happened he had a girl from his past show up and he chose her. he continued to flirt and have long convos with me and meet me for dinner several times when I was in town - but nothing happened.
so I've basically been single for 5yrs now. I'm kinda torn, because I'm not getting any cuter here....and my first boyfriend (ever) and my ex were both very passive agressive and would withhold sex as punishment it seems. it's honestly amazing I have 2 kids. I went to therapist a few months before we seperated and told her "dude, if I hadn't gotten him drunk and didn't take no for an answer I wouldn't have #2. we had sex ONE time in 36 months" and she was gobsmacked and ex shrugged like it wasn't anything odd. *headscratch*
and I would actually try (I finally gave up) EVERY NIGHT to initiate and be rebuffed until after a month or longer i'd get "ok, but make it quick"
ugh.
at the same time however, I am raising the kiddos with no help, making really good money at my job, I have savings and my life in order. my tolerance for BS is at nearly 0 level these days.
oh, don't like me working late one night? it bugs you I can't hang out tonight because I need to go out of town for work or deal with kids? you don't like my bookcases where they are? don't let the door hit you....
you know?
I don't need a man for anything...I've replummed and rewired half my house, I can change a flat in 5min wearing heels, I do the kids on my own, I built a bunkbed (and loaded and unloaded from car) by myself and hauled a giant 6'x7' entertainment center across my house.
so putting up with ANYONE's drama at this point gives me hives. LOL.....I think part of it is the fact i've only had men that were full of drama and all that.
I keep (half) joking I ought to put an ad in CL and say "come bang me like a screen door in a hurricane and take the trash out when you leave....no staying the night"
hahahhaaa....
Oh my gosh, you and I would get along great... I just cleaned out the barn, bedded down the stalls, and I haul water 100 yards each way every day during the winter. I live 35 minutes from town, chop my own firewood, etc, etc...
Drama gives me hives too... I just wanna smack some people.
Oh, and I just told someone the other day that all I really wanted was someone to come snuggle with me, give me a good backrub, do my dishes then leave, lol
This. In fact, way easier I think.
This. In fact, way easier I think.
Agreed. Ex made *more* work for me. And the emotional weight of someone who should be a partner who isn't is really difficult.
I would say, being alone can be lonely - but being isolated when you live with someone is far more lonesome.
It's akin to chinese water torture or something. I picture being locked in a cage with your favorite food just out of reach. Its right there, but you never get it.
Atleast if you are single, you aren't forced to stare at the food you never get.
Atleast if you are single, you aren't forced to stare at the food you never get.
That is so flippin' apt... love it.
lol....I've been single for 5yrs and we were married for 4.5 and dated for like 2 years before that.
I still have that fear. At this point I am rocking the single mom gig. I have money in the bank, I'm wicked smart and a hard worker, I bake and cook like a mofo, I am a 34DDD, and I am not terrible looking.
if and when I come across a man who can match me in intelligence and drive and is fun and good looking then i'll go running.
Until then i'm not going to bother with guys who haven't read a book since jr high, or spend more time glued to vidiot games than real life.
This pretty much describes my 2 ex's to a tee....perhaps thats why they are on the "things to avoid in the future" list. LOL
I was talking to my dad (who had Gbypass about 2yrs ago now, but has been seriously overweight his entire life. he was over 450 quite a bit) about it and I said, you know....its like going on a diet or deciding you will never eat chocolate or drink alcohol again.
after a week you'd break the fast for any little old piece of candy that came along. after 5 years you are like "eff that, it's been this long and i'm AOK....now if the chocolate cheesecake with caramel sauce comes waltzing buy....i'm gonna eat the whole darn thing"
well, i'm no longer willing to accept "eh"....I want "OMFG....nom nom nom...AWESOME"
and darnit, I deserve that
So that's only eight months for me, if you count the months we were separated the first time. If not, it's only like 6 months... which is three months from now... seems about right. But if you count the whole time we were together, which I feel like I should because we got preggers so quickly, then it's more like 14-16 months....
I went on a few token blind dates two or three months after my Husband left me, but my heart just wasn't in it and I'd feel bad 'cause they were generally nice guys, but I wasn't ready, so I knew I was looking for any excuse not to have a second date with them. Plus, at that point, I was still in love with my Husband, so I just wasn't feeling it. Six months after my Husband left me, a guy friend of mine talked me into dating him. BIG mistake, he turned into a psycho looking for easy prey. But I consider him more the exception than the rule. I was on a couple dating sites from then on, but I wasn't really ready to date until two years after my Husband left me. It was funny, 'cause not more than two weeks after I "let go", I met my Sweetheart, who is now my Fiance. 
My husband died April 2011 and I didn't start dating until this past fall. Super weird. I figured I wasn't meeting any men or women in my damn kitchen where I spend all my time so I signed up for an online dating site. I immediately met my current gentleman friend. We've been together since the get-go. He's a super rad dude. He likes my children a lot but doesn't feel it is necessary for him to have any of his own biologically. Which is good, because my boobs and uterus are officially retired. It's a really good situation. He's moving in this summer just in time for garden harvest!
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