I dated a guy for 1,5-2 months, right up till Christmas. He was very different from any man I have ever been with, a bit older than me, he's English-speaking, he doesn't have a full head of hair, he's divorced with children... it was all very new to me. I really enjoyed the intimate part of our relationship, like REALLY enjoyed that aspect, but outside of the bedroom he was very co-dependent and other things that I found unattractive. So I tried to take it slow, kept it very casual, as much as I could, (because being intimate involves me emotionally, much more than I relaised), even went so far as to say he should date other people when he became very 'suffocating' (like, calling and texting MANY MANY times a day). All the while I was trying to figure out if these were traits that I could deal with, like, were they deal-breakers or not? But he really wanted a commitment, like, yesterday! So I called it off, but was still trying to figure out why I was still thinking about him so much and so connected to him. So three weeks ago I offered to take him grocery shopping while his car wasn't working, and he told me he had a girlfriend! And had started seeing her while he and I were still seeing eachother (we overlapped for 1 week-10 days), BECAUSE I wouldn't commit to a relationship, and this girl really wanted a full-on relationship and be his official gf, AND because I had told him to date other people. I'ts true, unfortunately, but I honestly didn't expect him to actually DO IT within literally 24 hours. I was totally hurt, I don't really know why after 3 weeks I'm still upset about it. I don't know if I'm upset because I've realised I was really considering having a relationship with a guy who basically wanted the first 'taker', but I genuinely feel kind of betrayed, and I'm not shaking the feeling off very well, I'm not having a lot of success at letting it go. I have cut off contact, but am often tempted to open up communication. But for what? Why am I not just LETTING GO? Why am I not writing him off as a douche?
post #41 of 41
2/2/14 at 1:42pm