I'm really curious to see what the consensus is on this.
I know I want the option- but I'm not sure what I want to do with it.
I am an an introvert by nature- and tend to want to be alone to deal with pain- although I didn't have an issue being with hospital personell/ midwife/ DH/ and my mother during my first birth.
This time I will be birthing at a birth center; it's super laid back and quiet. I will likely be the only mom there. It has the potential to be very private, which I sense I may want.
I have this idea that it would be good for DD to 'see' the baby being born- so have a concrete storyline of how he or she got here- and not just see Mommy and Daddy go away and come back with this new sibling, this stranger. She has said to me that she sees him as a stranger (which I totally get, he/she is, at this point) and I think being present while he comes earthside could help her feel more of a connection to him.
But she is very intense, vivacious, sometimes hyperactive (in a totally normal four year old way), and I can sometimes just want things quiet, MY WAY. I think it'd be difficult to not be able to secure a quiet, 'safe' feeling enviorment while I birth- to not have control over my birthing enviorment- which is pretty much how it is at home a lot of the time :) I think at least while I birth, I should have the right to quiet! And I don't want to be snapping or yelling at her out of frusteration when I'm in labor- she tends to get louder and more silly when she's uncomfortable or unsure- which I imagine the intensity of labor would bring out.
I also worry a little about the messiness/intensity of it as far as scaring her- I don't know how I could deal with my labor if she got scared/was crying/etc. and I was in the throes of it all- and couldn't really comfort her. Or maybe I could. I mean, I'm sure I could, but is that an option I want to choose?
Or, less optimistically, what if there are complications? How traumatic would that be?
I know many suggest having an alternate person available JUST for the little one, and I like that idea. DH will be there, of course, and if I can find a volunteer doula, he or she as well. My mother lives an hour from me- and then the BC is an hour more- so it'd take her a while to get there, and I think this will be a relatively quick labor.
What do you think? Is there an obvious answer to this?