Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › The Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting › Starting night in crib, then into family bed later in night -- does it work for you? Any advice?
New Posts  All Forums:
 

Starting night in crib, then into family bed later in night -- does it work for you? Any advice?

Poll Results: Where does/did your baby sleep?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 66% (8)
    Starts night in own bed, then moves into ours
  • 0% (0)
    Starts night somewhere other than bed -- wearing, etc. -- then into ours
  • 0% (0)
    Sleeps all night in family bed, unsupervised early on (our room is totally baby-proofed)
  • 8% (1)
    Sleeps all night in family bed, supervised
  • 25% (3)
    Sleeps all night in own bed
  • 8% (1)
    Other (tell me about it in the comments!)
12 Total Votes  
post #1 of 7
12/13/12 at 11:14am
Thread Starter 

Here's our situation: my daughter slept in an Arm's Reach Cosleeper attached to our bed until she was almost 5 months. We all slept pretty well for most of that time -- it used to be so easy to lift her into bed, nurse lying down, and put her back in the cosleeper. She'd usually wake 3-4 times at most, and give us a 5-6 hour stretch every night from 7pm - after midnight or so. (We were also swaddling her until she was about 4 months old, which may have contributed to the longer sleep.)

 

At about 5 months, we transitioned her to her crib, first for naps, then for nighttime. Since then, she has spent at least part of every night in our bed, at first because I would just be too tired to put her back in her crib after nursing (we started as those "accidental" cosleepers), but at this point she and I both usually sleep better when she's in bed with us. I love the cuddles and having her right there beside me.

 

I had hoped that we could achieve the best of both worlds: a private, adults-only bedroom in the evening (where we can even have the lights on! and read before bed again! and not stumble around fumbling for our pajamas in the dark, trying not to wake the baby!), and then a cuddly baby to nurse and wake up with in the morning. For a while it seemed like we were on the path to success: after a rough first week of crib transition, then some teething and various other sleep debacles, she was sometimes giving us a nice long stretch in the evening again, easily going back to sleep in the crib if she woke before we wanted her in our bed, and contentedly sleeping in our bed later on in the night.

 

But more recently, she's been up as often as every half hour or so in her crib, needing to be rocked or nursed back to sleep at every tiniest sleep cycle change. And then there have been a few times when she just wouldn't stay asleep in the crib at all, and I ended up having to get ready for bed while my husband rocked her because the only thing she'd accept was sleeping in our bed. Sometimes there's a clear reason for the poor sleep: a cold, teething pain, etc. But I also wonder if she's just starting to prefer sleeping with me so much that she now won't accept anything less. (She's 7 months, which seems early for separation anxiety, but she has just started crawling, so who knows... that could be part of it.)

 

So, my questions, for those of you who've tried the crib-then-cosleeping pairing:

 

Does your little one seem to prefer cosleeping to the point where they stop accepting their crib? Do you have any advice for how to handle this? I really don't want to give up cosleeping entirely, but I also don't feel comfortable letting her sleep in our bed unsupervised, so nursing her in our bed and sneaking away is not a solution.

 

I guess I'm just hoping for either advice or inspiration from people who've had some success -- though if you're someone who ultimately had to give up and make the switch to full-time-crib or full-time-cosleeping I would be interested in how you came to that decision, and how it's working, too. 

 

Full-time cosleepers, where do your little ones start the night? Or do you just not put them to bed until your own bedtime?

 

Thank you!

Sponsored Links
post #2 of 7
12/14/12 at 12:20pm

We coslept with both our babies but if they were ready for sleeping before us they went in a cot by our bed so I wasn't worried about them falling out or wriggling under the covers.

 

They're 9 and 5 now and still come into our bed when they want to.  The eldest only does it if he's got insomnia or is poorly.  The youngest comes in every night at some point.  They start the night in their own beds (together) unless they're poorly then I just have an early night and we get into bed together.

 

I wish we had a bigger bed though.  I'm tempted to buy a single bed to put next to ours because it can be quite a squeeze!  Wouldn't have it any other way though.  :)  Nothing worse than feeling rubbish during the night and having no-one to cuddle!

post #3 of 7
12/14/12 at 2:41pm

I think we're having the opposite experience... sorry!  We also have the Arm's Reach, but when Little Miss first came home she wanted no parts of that thing.  So she slept in my arms.  I was awfully nice.  Now she starts out in the co-sleeper (we dropped it down into crib mode) and whenever she wakes up she comes into bed to nurse and cuddle.  Except... she seems to resent the cuddling part more and more lately.  I think it's time I knuckled down and started putting her back in her own bed after comforting her, and see how that goes.  So sad...

That was no help, but I wish all the best to you and yours!  Here's to figuring out a happy solution soon!
 

post #4 of 7
12/14/12 at 4:19pm
We didn't really cosleep in our big bed outside of two occasions where I was just out of ideas. It's too far off the ground for my comfort and DH is an epileptic so he really can't afford much disruption to his sleep. DD is in her own room in a crib but I come in and nurse her in a rocking recliner as needed. Many nights we end up cosleeping in the recliner for the last half (at times the last 8 hours!) of the night. It's not the greatest arrangement for me but she loves it although she will often be up a lot more with me in the room. We are starting to transition her onto a low bed/mattress so I can nurse her and roll away or even escape the room.
We have baby #2 on the way so a low double bed should give the three of us enough space if needed to all cosleep in a heap. I plan to introduce baby #2 to the crib after a couple of weeks just like I did DD and see if/how that's tolerated. I don't have a problem cosleeping but DD keeps me awake a bit and sleeps better in her own space. I'm a firm believer in doing what works but know what works for one kiddo may be terrible for another.
Honestly if it wasn't for our high bed and DH's medical issues, we would have probably done the crib to our bed cosleeping arrangement. As it is, we will probably have a family bed minus daddy, depending on baby's temperament.
post #5 of 7
12/15/12 at 9:37pm
We had the same thing start to happen to us. Annabelle (now almost 16 months) woke up every 45 minutes or so until she was in bed with me, and then would sleep longer/better with me. We had to "teach" her how to make it through those light sleep periods on her own so that she wouldn't wake up all the time. When she woke up in her crib before we went to bed, we would rub her back, sing to her, pat her bottom, etc... until she fell back to sleep on her own (ie, without rocking, bouncing, or nursing). She cried a little bit the first few nights, but we were right there with her and picked her up the minute it got louder than a simple protesting fuss. It really worked amazingly well. She soon was able to make it thru the light sleep/wake ups and put herself back to sleep. We generally go to bed around 11 or 11:30, and Annabelle some how learned to tell time, and sleeps from 7:30 until she wakes up almost exactly at 11:30 every night to come into bed with us. She sleeps comfortably with us until 7.

Another thing that really helped us was moving her out of her crib onto a floor mattress. I know that it is not something that works for everyone, but it seemed like getting rid of the crib bars was magical for her. We baby proofed her room, got a low book shelf for her to be able to reach her books and a few quiet toys, and put a gate in her door way so we can leave her door cracked but she can't escape. She loves the freedom that she has to roam around her room before going to sleep at night, and she seems to like being able to get up and open her door when she is ready to come to bed with us. We got rid of the crib at 9 months, and it's been great!

Hope that helps!
post #6 of 7
12/16/12 at 1:23pm
We are full time cosleepers. My 3 yr. old goes to sleep when we do. When he was younger we kept him with us and quietly dined or watched television, then he went with us when we were ready for bed. Now we just all go up and climb into the family bed. So basically there has not been any separate bedtime.
post #7 of 7
12/16/12 at 2:25pm

ours starts the night in her toddler bed in her room (age 2.5).  around 11 pm, she wakes, and comes into our room. she sleeps on a nest/cot in our room instead of our bed.

New Posts  All Forums:
 
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › The Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting › Starting night in crib, then into family bed later in night -- does it work for you? Any advice?