confused

[knique21]

Hi my name is Kaleisha I'm a 24 year old female. I’m living on my own and I graduated college with an associate’s degree I currently work 2 jobs. In August 2012 I learned I was 2 months pregnant I was thrilled and scared at the same time. So I informed the guy which whom I was involved at the time. His first response was its not mines a couple days later it changed to let’s just get rid of it. Which was heart breaking, it’s like in a matter of minutes he turned into a person I didn’t know and we have been involved for a little over a year. Well I was raised Christian and my father is a pastor my mother and grandmother are both missionaries I mean I’m not an active church goer but, long story short I don’t believe in abortion and I couldn’t bring myself to have one. So I made the decision to keep the child and just be the best mom I can be with the help of my family. So he is now saying it’s not his and he doesn’t want anything to do with my child, which I don’t think is right but fine whatever. My father says he doesn’t care if he doesn’t want to be involved and that his grandchild will not want for nothing. But I want to reach out to my child’s father’s family to allow them opportunity to be a part of her life even if he doesn’t want to be involved. I’m 6months pregnant and my family is saying just wait until after I give birth to just take him straight to court. What Should I Do?

[bananabee]

I would listen to your family. Take him to court after the baby is born and paternity can be established. Until then, he can just deny it's his all he wants. Why spend time arguing when you have such great family support? It will just turn your pregnancy into a rollercoaster ride, which is the last thing you and your baby need. Save your breath, energy, resentment, etc for later. Who knows, maybe he might even admit it's his by the time the baby is born and change his mind.

If you do want him to be involved with the baby, best thing you can do is minimize conflict. That doesn't mean you don't go to court, it just means you don't badger him about it, don't make drama. Just do the bare minimum in communicating (which may mean silence until after the baby is born), and try to maintain an approachable attitude. Show him how to be a grown-up.