Skycheattraffic you are always so thoughtful in your responses!
This does paint a much clearer picture. I agree with the above, try to carve out some "couple" time with NO pressure to have sex, and see where it goes from there. Also physical contact is important even if it isn't really sexual, sit together on the couch, rub his feet, etc.
My DH hates it if I "try" to act sexy (not that I ever have time to do that anymore) so I know exactly what you are talking about. The best advice I can give you is to do what works for YOUR family, not what your friends, people on mothering.com, etc say you should do. Co-sleeping is a wonderful thing if it works, but for your family it may not, and having a happy, healthy marriage is way more important to your child's well being than weather or not you followed every step of attachment parenting!
Also can you talk to DH about your feelings? Can you find a time that is very neutral and not when their is any pressure to initiate sex to talk about how you feel? Intimacy and sex is very important in my relationship with my husband and it sounds like it is to you too. It is how me and Dh reconnect after a busy day where we typically spend 14 hours or more apart from one another. I would maybe try to explore why DH feels so inhibited by the baby, nursing, even pregnancy. That part is difficult for me to relate to bc for me and DH all of that is actually a turn on...like omg we did this and it created that, our gorgeous son, who we just adore.