anyone else planning a home birth? « Back to Group Discussions

[phobiageek]

I'm 11 weeks and planning on a home birth. I went from hospital at the last minute to birth center to home birth. I know every mother has a different idea of what is comfortable and for me the most comfortable is at home with my midwife. I know I need the kind of emotional support and nurturing that a midwife will provide. 

That said, is anyone else planning the same? I only have one friend (3 kids, one is one week old!) who had the same birth plan and the one who actually helped inform me about pregnancy and birth before I was even pregnant. I just learned a lot from her through her blog, Facebook posts and conversations. She's great, I love her but I also want to meet other moms who are in the same thought as me.

I'd love to bounce questions off of each other, see how we're feeling and the like. I'm from Austin, Texas and fortunately, there are several midwives that would work. The one I really wanted who did my friend's VBA2C will be gone the month I'm due so even though she said I could do prenatal care with her and have her partner do the birth she said that would be hard emotionally. I agree. I think I would bond with her and be sad she's not at the birth. I have one more (I hope!) midwife interview on Monday and hoping we'll click so I can hire her on the spot. I did have another interview with a midwife who is great, but not as nurturing as I'd like. 

I'd also love to hear from moms who have done this before. This is my first pregnancy so there's a bit of fear around the pain but I am working on releasing that. I plan to do a hypnobaby course and reading some books on pain free labor. I know it won't be "pain free" but I can learn to think about it differently. 

[dayiscoming2006]

Hey, I'm also planning a homebirth. My first homebirth was unassisted, but this time I have picked a nice midwife. I'm 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I'm also in Austin. I have my first midwife appointment next week. I've had 2 previous hospital births. The first by choice(though I knew nothing else), the second because I had no alternative options. I was in Romania and homebirth is risky/complicated with legality there.

My midwife seemed nice enough in the interview. She was recommended to me by someone local that I knew. She wasn't freaked out by my previous unassisted birth, but I don't think she is one to recommend those either. She did make sure I was serious about using her instead of going unassisted again and I gave her my reasons why I'd actually rather have a midwife there. I snatched her up quick because I wanted to make sure she would be available. As long as you have a healthy pregnancy, everything I read suggests home birth as the safest option. Though, I think a private birth center(not attached to a hospital) would be a great option as well. 

[phobiageek]

Wow, props to you for an unassisted birth. And congratulations!

When I found out I was pregnant I was a bit shocked as it was unplanned but once it settled in and I began to think about what I really wanted and looked into more information I also came to the conclusion that as long as I'm low risk a home birth would be the safest option. My SO is super supportive so I'm happy about that.

My mom and sister are not as informed, albeit supportive but I do not plan on telling them I plan a home birth. They would be concerned and I'm only choosing to share mg birth plan with those that understand.

I did see a birth center but the midwife was more clinical and not what I was looking for emotionally.

Now I plan to take a hypnobaby class and learn more about releasing the fear of pain. I understand that plays a big part in how you feel the pain in labor. Did you use a birth tub or anything you found helpful in your unassisted home birth?

[SunnyMuffin]

I wasn't able to get a midwife this time around (closest ones are 45 min away) and my former one wont take clients in my area anymore... 

I'm planning on doing prenatal care with a family doctor and planning an unassisted home birth (not telling the doctor that obviously).  I really really wanted a homebirth this time and I'm not going to let something as small as not getting a  midwife stop me.  I went very overdue with my last so I would appreciate the extra monitoring near the end but when I go into labor I plan on staying at home.  

[SunnyMuffin]

Originally Posted by phobiageek 
. Did you use a birth tub or anything you found helpful in your unassisted home birth?

I was reading stories of a women inthe 1950's who had several unassisted births and she drank whiskey during all her labors to relax/help with pain, LOL. I'm sure the drug cocktails you'd get in hospital are a lot worse

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/unassisted-childbirth-in-the-1950s/

[kolszewski]

We are planning a homebirth again this time. I have had a csection, a midwife assisted hospital Vbac with an epidural, and a homebirth. My HB was by far the best experience and given that I have no complaints about my other births, that is really saying something! We live in TX now so I had to find a midwife and I love her, a great CNM. I would never dream of having an unassisted birth as I have no training in childbirth. I love having someone around to do the thinking while I concentrate on the birthing! Anyway, we are super excited and my kids want to hang around and watch this time!

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by phobiageek 

Wow, props to you for an unassisted birth. And congratulations!
When I found out I was pregnant I was a bit shocked as it was unplanned but once it settled in and I began to think about what I really wanted and looked into more information I also came to the conclusion that as long as I'm low risk a home birth would be the safest option. My SO is super supportive so I'm happy about that.
My mom and sister are not as informed, albeit supportive but I do not plan on telling them I plan a home birth. They would be concerned and I'm only choosing to share mg birth plan with those that understand.
I did see a birth center but the midwife was more clinical and not what I was looking for emotionally.
Now I plan to take a hypnobaby class and learn more about releasing the fear of pain. I understand that plays a big part in how you feel the pain in labor. Did you use a birth tub or anything you found helpful in your unassisted home birth?

I'm not a big fan of a clinical approach either, so I understand your feelings on the birth center. As far as labor pain, I just relaxed the best I could, breathed and focused on Bible verses. I did not like being in water for long during labor, though I did take a shower and it was somewhat nice for a little bit. During labor, I stayed upright and walked around some to help things progress. Don't over do it, if you need to rest.

Maybe for some women they are able to dream their pain away? Or whatever that is about. But, I have never been able to avoid the pain. Birth is painful, but I can be a wimp and I made it through twice with no pain meds and once without pain meds until I was 6+ cm. It can be done. We are strong and are made to birth babies. We just have to be confident and know that the pain will not last forever an in the end we welcome our new family member. By the end of pregnancy, you are so uncomfortable, you can't wait to give birth in my experience. :)

[phobiageek]

Good luck with your home birth and congratulations! Thanks for the link on birth stories. I find that reading birth stories has helped ease the fear, especially hypnobaby specific birth stories. They describe the pain as intense but still say its painful. My friend's midwife offered her some wine in labor so I think whisky would be the same. Definitely better than some of the drugs at hospital like Demerol which reading moms who had it (even those who loved it) said the baby was affected.

[phobiageek]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 

I'm not a big fan of a clinical approach either, so I understand your feelings on the birth center. As far as labor pain, I just relaxed the best I could, breathed and focused on Bible verses. I did not like being in water for long during labor, though I did take a shower and it was somewhat nice for a little bit. During labor, I stayed upright and walked around some to help things progress. Don't over do it, if you need to rest.

Maybe for some women they are able to dream their pain away? Or whatever that is about. But, I have never been able to avoid the pain. Birth is painful, but I can be a wimp and I made it through twice with no pain meds and once without pain meds until I was 6+ cm. It can be done. We are strong and are made to birth babies. We just have to be confident and know that the pain will not last forever an in the end we welcome our new family member. By the end of pregnancy, you are so uncomfortable, you can't wait to give birth in my experience.

I wish I could dream they pain away but even the hypnobaby birth stories just describe the pain differently. They say its intense but they learn think of the pain differently. I think just focusing on the great thing that will come of the pain helps. Not equivalent in pain but tattoos are painful and mine hurt A LOT but I stuck with it because of the outcome. It even felt kind of good at some points. I'm also a big wimp (I yell loudly when I get a leg cramp) but a leg cramp doesn't usually come with a positive outcome.

Thanks for your advice. Please do keep in touch.

[dayiscoming2006]

Originally Posted by SunnyMuffin 

I wasn't able to get a midwife this time around (closest ones are 45 min away) and my former one wont take clients in my area anymore... 

I'm planning on doing prenatal care with a family doctor and planning an unassisted home birth (not telling the doctor that obviously).  I really really wanted a homebirth this time and I'm not going to let something as small as not getting a  midwife stop me.  I went very overdue with my last so I would appreciate the extra monitoring near the end but when I go into labor I plan on staying at home.  

I understand wanting to have a homebirth even when you can't find a midwife. That's sort of what happened for us. We knew of a midwife, but she was too expensive for us at the time, so we had no choice, but hospital or UC. I really didn't want the hospital and chose UC. I hope it goes well for you. 

[yallcomeback]

I've had 2 c/s (and 2 kids), the second one was a home birth turned CBAC. we are having a home birth this time with a wonderful midwife! I'm not planning to call the midwife until I'm pushing, unless for some reason I feel I need her there sooner. I wholeheartedly believe homebirth is the best way to birth for most women

[talldarkeyes]

We were planning a homebirth but might not be able to afford it now. Isn't it sad that I cant afford to pay my midwife $2400 for all my prenatal care and birth but that I can afford (thanks to insurance) to give birth in a hospital with tons of resources and man power used. I might be able stick with my midwife for most of my prenatal care. She is talking with my insurance company.

[phobiageek]

Originally Posted by yallcomeback 

I've had 2 c/s (and 2 kids), the second one was a home birth turned CBAC. we are having a home birth this time with a wonderful midwife! I'm not planning to call the midwife until I'm pushing, unless for some reason I feel I need her there sooner. I wholeheartedly believe homebirth is the best way to birth for most women

Agreed and good luck! I may need the midwife a little sooner but I think BC I've never been through this before and I would just feel better.

[phobiageek]

Originally Posted by talldarkeyes 

We were planning a homebirth but might not be able to afford it now. Isn't it sad that I cant afford to pay my midwife $2400 for all my prenatal care and birth but that I can afford (thanks to insurance) to give birth in a hospital with tons of resources and man power used. I might be able stick with my midwife for most of my prenatal care. She is talking with my insurance company.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Mine does cover midwifery care (for now) but its out of network. Six months ago it was in network and I hear by next year they may not cover it at all. But I also have a really high deductible (2310) so it is cheaper for me to have a midwife BC I'd still have to pay 20% after the deductible and a no issues vaginal birth is around 10k. I am looking into what insurance will cover if I have to transfer though. Someone's friend with a different insurance had to pay the full amount BC insurance wouldn't cover it BC she hadn't seen a doctor. All crappy IMHO!

[dayiscoming2006]

I may not even have insurance by the time of the birth, so a midwife makes the most logical sense even if it will cost me $4000+ that we don't currently have. We'll scrounge it up. 

I will probably qualify for state insurance for the beginning of the pregnancy, but my husband got a raise and expects another before the baby is born and he's been working a side job, so, most likely we'll make too much for state insurance then. And I cannot afford to pay for insurance, it's much less to pay for a midwife. The cost of health insurance is crazy.

[talldarkeyes]

Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 

I may not even have insurance by the time of the birth, so a midwife makes the most logical sense even if it will cost me $4000+ that we don't currently have. We'll scrounge it up. 
I will probably qualify for state insurance for the beginning of the pregnancy, but my husband got a raise and expects another before the baby is born and he's been working a side job, so, most likely we'll make too much for state insurance then. And I cannot afford to pay for insurance, it's much less to pay for a midwife. The cost of health insurance is crazy.

Agreed! The cost is very high. My husband gets good insurance as a public school teacher but it takes a big chunk out of his paycheck every month. When we lived in Wyoming we had a health savings account and that was so awesome for us! Every month $300 was put into a savings account for non-preventive care expenses. Yearly physicals and such were covered in full. By the end of one year we had plenty to cover a homebirth and also cover our deductible if we needed a hospital transfer. I heard now that they don't even do that anymore. Too bad because for healthy young people who use doctors so infrequently it was the perfect solution.

[yallcomeback]

Originally Posted by phobiageek 

Agreed and good luck! I may need the midwife a little sooner but I think BC I've never been through this before and I would just feel better.

Thank you! For me, I think I called the midwife way too soon last time, plus I also didn't jive with her, she wasn't very helpful or supportive. I just picture me and my husband going through most of the process alone as being the best way for me to be relaxed enough to let this baby down! No more FTP babies for me, please, lol.

[yallcomeback]

Man, as much as the weather stinks here in Canada, I am so grateful for our healthcare system right now! You guys have to go through so many headaches just to get the care you deserve. such a pain!

[Swtsnshne]

I'm planning a home birth also.  This will be my second home birth, third birth.  The first was in a hospital.  It's exciting to see so many of us will be giving birth at home!

I had my in-laws watch The Business of Being Born last time around so they could get some information on home births.  I think it worked wonders on their questions and doubts.

Paying the cost upfront definitely hurts, but I'm hoping we'll be reimbursed like we were last time.  It makes sense for the insurance companies to encourage home births considering the costs of a home birth or hospital birth.  But it's insurance companies I'm talking about, so of course nothing makes sense ;)

[BlueMonday]

i've had two amazing homebirths so i've kind of nailed down my system. first, plenty of smartwater to drink, washcloths for my head and a portable fan to regulate my temperature and stay comfortable (especially in summer heat!). my favorite birth tub is the eco birth-pool-in-a-box, i love how you can bounce off the bottom and sides to change position fast and the handles and seat are things i tried unsuccessfully to fabricate with the hard-sided aquadoula tub.

i sort of enjoy giving birth. the first time i didn't know what to expect and so i brought expectations to the birth. the second time was fast, just five hours, and i just stayed focused and kept an ina may mantra close: "keep it fun for your birth attendants, you're lucky to have them there". a positive, light attitude is so infectious. the first time i was a bit whinier. i was clinging to ina may's "loose lips make loose bottoms" and trying to visualize surfing the contractions, still attempting to stay on top of them instead of accepting it. i'm not a person who can easily drift to laborland, i have a hard time with leaving my mind so the best i can do is stay present and participate. it's really not that bad and you can deal with anything for just one day.

i'm lucky to have also discovered that my body will start pushing on it's own. the first time i think i bruised up my cervix with unproductive pushing for about an hour too long, once i thought i was complete. the second time my awesome CNM wouldn't give me a number for dilation because she knew i wanted to let my body do the work. she doesn't do internal checks or exams anyway, both labors i asked her to look. but at one point my uterus just did that curling over thing, i'd inflate my belly huge with air and as i blew out, my body pushed baby out. i only got involved for the last two pushes, when i get this stabbing cramp as baby pushes my pelvic bones aside on the way through.

oh and i was immensely successful with helping my cervix melt during that quick second labor. in between contractions (i woke up like two minutes apart and pretty much got right into the bath while the tub filled), i reached in and helped my cervix widen, drawing out more and more of the bloody mucus. sorry TMI, i did rather feel like an animal in the wild doing it, but i think it quite helped speed things along. that and of course the nightly bout of contractions over my last month of pregnancy ;)