Originally Posted by pickle18
I think a better way to word that may have been to say, "to exonerate herself of any responsibility to work to understand/advocate for/work with her son's behavior."
I got the distinct impression from that article that she was more concerned with venting and negatively characterizing her child than truly working to understand him, and find ways to work with his unique needs, instead of just shoving a square peg into a round hole, and complaining that it doesn't fit, ykwim? I think the pants thing was a poor example...yes, he had an extreme reaction, but could this have been anticipated? Could she have only bought him acceptable pants? Or just let him wear the wrong ones, to have some control over his situation?
We don't know if she has spend a small fortune on pants, maybe none are acceptable. Maybe they have already BTDT with wearing the wrong pants, perhaps it causes a larger meltdown.
What I get frustrated with is that so many are tearing apart her words and feelings, these her HER words, feelings, this is HER life that she deals with day in and day out. I can't begin to imagine how brutally exhausting it must be. And she has 3 other children to keep safe. With a severely failed mental health system in this country. Instead of bashing this mother, she needs to be supported.
I do have a child that struggles with her mental health. She first started saying she didn't want to live when she was 5. It was the same year that we couldn't even get in the car because she would break down. By the time she was 6 I was making appointments with a locked unit to discuss options. She is 9 now and stable, with meds, for now. It comes and goes. I had to physically prevent her from running away in the PJs with her doll, in the middle of the street, in the dark, last week after a rage and that is nothing. She is no where near the level this mother has to endure every day. I am so drained. I don't sleep, I have no friends anymore, who has time for that, no life outside of my children. I don't even know who I am anymore, nor my DH. I've given up everything to help her. I don't have a single hobby anymore. And I don't regret it but it has come at a very high cost. I get so many helpful comments on what to do with her. Take her off her meds, have you tried this whoo whoo therapy? This supplement from Peru will cure her! Why are you being so negative? Why don't you try this, try that, do that, say this, prevent this. I am only one person and can only physically and emotionally do so much. Until you live my life day in and day out, trying to keep my other children cared for as well including one with ASD, I don't want to hear it. We've spent thousands upon thousands upon thousands on her care. We have absolutely nothing to show for many years of hard work with a successful company, we've drained every single penny we can out of anything trying to help our children. I probably will never know what retirement is now. That mother probably feels at the end of her rope, and that I can understand.