With one child, cosleeping worked well for a while. Eventually she took up too much space in the bed, pushing her father and I to the edges of the bed, her toes in our hair, in our bellybuttons. We put a futon on the floor in our room, problem solved. At 3 we moved out of the room into "her" room which she had never slept in and after a few minutes of whimpering the first night she slept well every night thereafter and is still fine years later.
I have a stepson with sensory processing and anxiety issues who sometimes has bouts of sleeping well and sometimes has night terrors or wakes in the night and has trouble getting back to sleep. His mood is greatly affected by missing sleep.
Now my situation is more complicated and I have no idea what to do. I cosleep with my two year old twins (they stopped nursing in the last couple of months) and it is often less than comfortable for me. I thought it was hard with the one! I lie down with them to fall asleep and they protest. After our night routine it still takes them 30 minutes to an hour most nights. Tired overtired or not, they do not go to sleep easily. Sometimes one of them does but never both. I often fall asleep with them, although I long for a little evening time with my husband. They squish me between them, pushing me with their feet and faces. I end up sore and contorted sometimes. There are certainly times when it is sweet and cozy, but it often causes me pain and discomfort. If I don't lay between them they move toward each other and wake each other up with squirming, feet in the face and such.
One or both of them wakes up crying nearly every night, sometimes more than once, sometimes both of them more than once. One can be comforted but often not before waking up everyone else in the house. The other will not be comforted by anything, the only way to get him to stop screaming is to threaten to move him downstairs to a "playpen" we keep for threat purposes. I greatly dislike this practice but have found no alternative. he doesn't want cuddles or backrubs or anything. It is more angry crying than sad or scared. I am laying right there with him, yet he has plenty of room, I don't know what he is crying about.
I am now expecting a new baby and have no idea what to do, we have no other room to put them in, not to mention the new baby. What will I do? I only have two sides, and from previous pregnancies I know I will need to move around frequently in the night to be comfortable, yet turning over often wakes the tricky twin and triggers a screaming fit.
My husband could sleep with them, (he sleeps in the room with us but on a "real" bed while we are on a mattress on the floor. I wish I could sleep with him, I really like him:)but as I am home with them during the day and he has to go to work at a demanding job to support us, I hesitate to do this. Also, he often works late and is not there when we go to bed so it just isn't practical on a regular basis.
I do so need advice, but I also ask that people who advocate cosleeping remember that it doesn't work for everyone and please don't judge those who can't.