Dont know what to do...

[Lovemy2boys25]

I have 2 boys my oldest is almost 15 months and my youngest is almost 3 months... Their father and I have been together off and on for almost 4 years.. We break up a lot... we argue a lot... we were broke up both times I found out I was pregnant and we got back together both times... He is a good dad to our boys there are things he does that I don't like when it comes to our kids and vice versa. The kids are with me always we don't live together he comes to my house to see them. We are currently off again and maybe for good this time and is very hard for me. I love him but we just fight a lot and he feels the same about me. We keep trying to make it work for our kids because I don't want them to have other men and women walk in and out of their lives if we start dating other people. I went through that as a child and I don't want that for my kids... so what should we do? Part of me feels like we should end it now while they are to young to remember rather than it happening later when they are old enough to understand whats going on and upset them... But when we are broke up I get angry at him very easily and we fight alot then too and we say hurtful stuff and I kind of use the kids against him which I know is very wrong and I always feel bad and apologize after, I just don't know how to get through this and how to stay civil so any advice would be greatly appreciated... Thank you!!

[easydoesit]

Hello Love,

Have you gotten any counseling for yourself? Perhaps discuss/explore with a counselor what you want out of your relationship with your children's father. Or how you could imagine a life without him as a partner to you but a father to the kids. What would that looks like?
 

[Lovemy2boys25]

We have talked about going to counseling together but we never had the money to do so. Same thing with counseling for me. I just need to try to not let our personal relationship interfere with our parenting. I hate when I feel like I don't know what to do, I'm not really used to that, I guess you could say im kind of a control freak and I dont really like change. Since this type of situation is new to me I just handle it inappropriately. I just wish I knew how to handle it better... but I'm trying and I'm sure with time I will get better at it.