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How to deal with selfish parents

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 

OK so everyone is at least a bit selfish, but when I try to compare them to my parents they don't look too bad.  I've known this for a long time but just can't get over it - that my parents are selfish and I still have to accept them.

 

They don't support any charities or do much for others.  They bicker with each other constantly about who is worse than who and how I'm right and you're wrong.  They talk on the phone about all their problems and hardly pause to listen to what I have to say.  There are many issues I don't want to go into details about.  Recently they've been updating the living trust and discussed with me and it made me really grumpy.

 

They want to live for as long as possible (including on life support) in any condition, do not plan to donate any organs, bought large grave sites and elaborate headstones, and plans to buy another one near me so we can "visit them often".  I told them we might not visit so don't waste money, they got grumpy with me of course.

 

I can't tell if they're just too selfish, or that I'm just too different from them.  (DH and I plan to have our ashes scattered in the ocean.) I just get upset every time I think about this.  They'll never understand me and I don't know how to love and accept them the way they are.  It's easy to be a little kid with any kind of parents, you never knew any better.  But as a grown up and a parent myself, I can see they're really just not my type. They're not evil of course, just self-centered and lacking class.  I think I'm embarrassed for them. :( I'm not sure how to get over these feelings.

 

I can't change them.  I can't only change myself.  What should I do?

post #2 of 2
Thread Starter 

Oh, I'm not sure if this matters, but if anyone think MBTI types matter, we're the opposites.  I'm INTP and mom is ESFJ.  Not too sure about dad, most likely ISFJ.
 

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