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Emotional Support when trying to conceive

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I am trying to conceive my second child.  I had a miscarriage back in May of this year and have been blindly TTC for the last few months.  I thought I had enough information, but now I feel plain dumb that I haven't read all of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" until now.  It was so easy for us to conceive the first time around that I guess I was hoping for another easy go round. Not so this time.  This month I thought we had sex right when I was ovulating, but no go.  Well, actually, I think I just got my period (on day 31), but my period has of late been really light for 3 days or so and then really comes on.  I also got my period at 25 days last month when I am normally right on a 28 day schedule, so I am confused and worried.  Part of me still wonders if I could be pregnant with spotting, but my miscarriage was full of spotting and I couldn't bear another miscarriage.

 

I don't talk about it with many people.  I have friends who had trouble conceiving but they are home nursing newborns right now, so I don't want to bug them with this.  Plus, I feel like I shouldn't really discuss it with anyone... maybe superstitious?  Or I want it to happen and then surprise people??  I am thinking about it CONSTANTLY.  I barely talk about it with my husband either.  I do a little, but he doesn't want it as much as I do, and he doesn't really get it... the longing nor the inner workings of a woman's body.

 

I go back and forth between being overly confident that I will get pregnant to being completely depressed that I am now 35 (almost 36) and somehow my body is turning on me and I can't have that other child I so desperately want.  I feel so blessed for my 3.5 year old daughter, but I am one of many siblings and can't imagine her not having one.  She will tell me, "Mommy, I am ready to be a big sister".  

 

I almost broke down at the dentist office today when updating my medical records and adding miscarriage to the records.  I would have been due now.

 

Anyway, I feel awkward talking with others about this all, but I obviously need to.  Hoping to find some support here.

 

Thanks for letting me vent a little...

post #2 of 7
*hugs* take care yourself, sweetie.
post #3 of 7
hug.gif I'm so sorry for your loss. If you're comfortable there are a great group of ladies that understand what you're going through/where your mind may be at in the PABL forums. Specifically since you're TTC here's the HHAC thread if you've never happened by it:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1368906/hope-healing-and-conceiving-in-december-2012

I hope you find the support you need hug2.gif .
post #4 of 7
We're in a very similar boat it seems. I haven't had a miscarriage but were having trouble TTC #1. We've been trying for months with no avail and I don't think I am even ovulating. I am having the same period issues as you too! Have you seen a doctor yet? Mine told me try out some b complex vitamins to help with the stress and prenatals then we will go from there. If you ever need someone to vent to I'm happy to listen smile.gif
post #5 of 7

I understand! I am feeling the same and finally decided today that I needed to make an effort to be active here in the forum for emotional support. I've been holding a lot of these emotions in and I need to talk to people who understand. You do, too. That's what this forum is for. I have only been TTC for one month but it has been absolutely emotionally gutting and I need to get a grip! Also had a loss, but it was 2.5 years ago and we are just now ready to start trying to have a baby (loss was an oops). Lots of emotions going on. 

Hang in there, and talk here about it!

post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your responses!

I have read a good portion of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and started charting. I spend so much time thinking about conceiving that I sometimes am barely present. My hubby had a loss in his family right around my fertile time according to my charts. It is not someone he was close to but a family member nonetheless and he is not wanting to try... He doesn't really want another anyway so no skin off his back. I decided to be a good wife and not push him but honestly I have been not pushing him for years now. He has no idea how much of my brain space is in conceiving right now, even if I try to explain it. Every month there is something thAt comes up and messes with our sex life which as of late has fallen by the wayside. I guess I will just focus on next month already.
post #7 of 7

Miscarriages are increasingly more common these days. Most women experience one during their lifetime... although most never know that it has even happened. It can take months (up to a year) for your body to rebuild itself and be ready to conceive again. Getting pregnant too quickly after miscarrying can also lead to future miscarriages. You are just about "in the clear" now that it has been over 6 months. [Edited my moderator to remove promotional content]

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