I am in a fix. Can you please help me out.
Below is my family situation.
I live in an extended family. My inlaws come every 6 months. We live with my husband's brothers family. They have 2 kids (eldest son 3 and half yrs old and daughter 18 months). I have a son who is 3 years old.
My Nephew is diaonised with autism. For a year he has been in intensive therapy. He is a high functioning autistic. Very smart in academics. Knows to spell, count, additions at a very young age. So i think he is a sort of a genius and everybody in the house thinks so. I am etremely happy for him since it broke my heart to see him go to so many therapies at a very tender age. So all the family memebers tend to praise him a lot and concentrate a lot on him which is agin very good. My in-laws interact with him a lot. Keep him occupied. Challenge him and other stuff. My nephew is obsessed about numbers and letters. Any thing repetitive is soothing for him. So he likes spellings and he has excelling memory which is one of the common traits of aspergers syndrome.
Now coming to my son. He is a happy go lucky kid. Well on his developmental track. know s his numbers, letters and rhymes. But he does not keep repeating them everytime and especially not in front of others. But i know he knows all this because I hear him counting and singing when he is busy with his imaginative play. He loves cars. And his day care lady tells me he is very attentive and a good kid. So I am content with that. I am not the so called "Tiger Mom". I certainly don't like to drill him acedemics but incorporate it in the play. He is not a genius and I am fine with that too. He is what he is. I do creative stuff with him. Let him get messy with fingerpaints. And talk and read to him a lot. He has a voracious appetite for books. and not just cute toddler books but even big books on automobiles, how things work and stuff like that. So i read to him a lot. Ofcourse he doesnot read yet but certainly asks me to read stuff for him. He is a very talkitive kid always asking questions, being silly and ofcourse a bit stubborn. I wouldn't say he is totally academic but more of play. He has a very big verbal vocabulary.
But of late there has been many comparisons going on between my son and my nephew. They are as different as chalk and cheese. and especially my MILs attitude. Whenever he comes near she puts him down saying "Do you know this rhyme", You never sing. One day my nephew was on a spellng spree and all were applauding him and even my son did so. My MILs reaction is "what about you, you never learn anything". I can clearly feel my son getting hurt and nowadays he has stopped going to her or my FIL because they rarely take him close as they are busy with my nephew. I can understand that but wy this comparison bet ween my nephew and my son. Why can't they let him be who he is.
I would higly appreciate if you can give me some advice. How do i tackle this problem. I don't want my son to get hurt unnecessarily. He is still 3 for gods sake. I don't want him to have future insecurity problems.