Would you mind describing what your typical day with newborn twins is like?

[Adaline'sMama]

Colsjack, Ifnotnowthenwhen, Caitlyn, WendiPauline, QMtwins, and anyone else who might recall what life with newbies is like:

DH and I are getting slightly terrified. It would be super helpful if we could find some ideas of what life with newborn/infant twins looks like, but when I search online, I have a hard time finding examples of days with twins where the twins are breastfed, cloth diapered, or worn. I was hoping that some of the ladies here on this website could tell us what your typical day with twins is like. Im especially interested in knowing how its going to work with a two year old in the mix as well. DH will be with me about half the time, and for several months a friend will usually be with us too. 

As uncomfortable as it is to be pregnant, I have a feeling that sh*t is about to get really hard.

[wendipauline]

Oh lady- I have so much to say about this but I'm on my phone right now. I will come back to this tonight when I can get on a real computer!

[rinap]

Breathe. It will be hard, but it will be okay. And it will get easier.

I found that time with newborn twins was change diapers, feed babies, one at a time, (I couldn't tandem really until eight or nine months), change diapers, put girls to sleep, pump, pee/grab a bite to eat, start again. At night the pee/grab a bite to eat was replaced by sleep. My husband often changed and fed one while I did the other, and eventually at night he would change and feed both while I pumped (to get a little more sleep).

I often got a shower during those times, but not much more. And we used a diaper service for the first five months.

[Brambleberry]

DH and I have also been freaking out a lot lately.  I'm just so worried for my DD that she is going to get totally neglected.  And we'll be doing something or going someplace with DD and DH will say, "ok, now how is this going to work with TWO newborns as well?" and I'll just be like, "well, we just won't be doing this sort of thing at all for a while."  Yep, the s*it is about to hit the fan.  And it's hard being so big.  And we're going to get bigger.  Sorry, I just had to throw a big pity party for myself.

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by Brambleberry 

DH and I have also been freaking out a lot lately.  I'm just so worried for my DD that she is going to get totally neglected.  And we'll be doing something or going someplace with DD and DH will say, "ok, now how is this going to work with TWO newborns as well?" and I'll just be like, "well, we just won't be doing this sort of thing at all for a while."  Yep, the s*it is about to hit the fan.  And it's hard being so big.  And we're going to get bigger.  Sorry, I just had to throw a big pity party for myself.

No, Im feeling it.  I was just thinking today about how I need to write a blog post about all the feelings I need to anticipate having in the first few months. Im excited, but Im also a bundle of other things right now. Life is about to get crazy. 

[julyaugust]

My girls are 11 months old and I remember those early days well! My DS was 2 and 9 months when his sisters were born and I remember being terrified that my relationship with him would change/suffer because I'd be focused on his sisters. Our routine looked more or less like this: 

DS would wake up around 7am, DH would give him breakfast while I'd try to sleep a bit more with the girls, who'd wake closer to 8ish, sometimes 9. He'd also make a big breakfast for me. Sometime between 8 and 9, I'd scarf down my breakfast, DH would head to work. Then when the girls woke up, I'd tandem nurse, change their diapers, and they'd go back to sleep. I'd say, in the first 3 months, they spent a lot of time sleeping. My girls were happy to sleep in the bed, or in the carrier, which made it easier for us get out of the house. It was a bit of a learning curve, figuring out tandem nursing and getting them both in the wrap, in those early days, but I think that those two things were the most important /helpful things for me and made my life so much easier. They also allowed me to spend more time with DS. Another important thing for me, was having everyone nap together in the afternoon. I'd usually make make lunch with the girls in the carrier, they'd inevitably wake up and want to nurse, so I'd try to bounce (with them in the wrap) until DS would be finished lunch, then we'd all head to bed. I'd nurse them and read him a book (he'd have to turn the pages cause my hands were full), then he'd lay down, I'd change their diapers, and get them back to sleep and try to sleep a bit too. Sometimes, if one of the girls would fuss and have a harder time getting to sleep, I'd just fall asleep nursing side-lying, but most of the time they'd fall asleep pretty easily after nursing and I could cuddle with DS a bit before we'd all fall asleep. We'd generally all sleep for at least 2 hours, starting for anywhere between noon and 2.

My girls were always fussy in the late afternoon, when they'd generally want to cluster feed non stop from 5 til around 8. DH would come home around 4 or 5, I'd often just sit on the couch tandem nursing while he made dinner, then we'd eat - sometimes each wearing/holding a baby, sometime taking turns bouncing both babies at ones, sometimes the babies would sleep while we ate. Then we'd start getting the girls ready for bed: I'd nurse them again in the bed with the lights dimmed, change their diapers, bounce/rock them til they were asleep. DH would play with DS and then get him into his pjs/brush his teeth. Usually one girl would fall asleep more easily than the other, one would need more rocking. Every once in a while, I'd have to rock both. Sometimes I'd rock one in my arms and lay the other one swaddled on my legs, with my legs out-stretched, babe's head near my knees and feet near my crotch, and I'd jiggle my legs back and forth/make wind-shield wiper motions with my feet to rock the babe on my legs. Eventually they'd fall asleep and I'd be able to lay down and cuddle with DS. (We all sleep in the same bed - a king sized!)

Overnight, I'd try my best to tandem nurse the girls. Luckily, in the first 3 months, they'd often wake to nurse at the same time or a few minutes apart, and were very easy to transfer to the bed if they fell asleep nursing on the nursing pillow - which is what would inevitably happen. I'd change diapers after they were finished nursing, often they'd be half asleep while I was changing them. I kept two big tupperware containers at the foot of the bed: one with diapers, face cloths, wipes, water bottle for me and extra sleepers for the girls in case of a poop blowout!, the other tupperware was where I threw all the dirty diapers. This meant I didn't have to get out of the bed at all. Basically I tried to make it so that I could lay down and go back to sleep ASAP! I had a night light on all the time, so I never had to turn on a light.

All in all, it was manageable! We had just moved to the town where we were living about 6 months before the girls were born, so we didn't have any family or close friends. When they were born, we weren't sure how we'd manage, so we hired an undergraduate 20 year old to help out a few days a week. By the 2nd week, it was clear that it wasn't so helpful: she'd basically just watch while I played with DS, he'd allow her to read him a book while I was nursing the girls, but that'd only take 5 - 10 minutes, then I'd be able to play with him again.

All that being said: we haven't done much cloth diapering with the girls, our house was (and continues to be!) a complete disaster, I was lucky to get a shower once a week, I basically ate food that was pepared for me.  But, DS is crazy in love with his sisters. The girls adore their brother. It's beyond amazing! For me, it was really helpful to remind myself that there are good and bad days regardless of how many children you have. The bottom line: you'll figure it out as you go, you'll do what works for you. You might have to let some things slide, and that has to be okay.

ps - sorry, I didn't realize I had so much to say!!!

[Emelee]

First off I wanted to say that it was hard but not as bad as I had anticipated. But perhaps that's why it pays to be a pessimist, lol.

My girls just turned 6 months and when they were born their sister was just 18 months. I had the luxury of my husband working as a contractor so he could take off/leave early from work when needed so that plays a huge part in how those first weeks and even now work out. Also, the twins were full-term so we came home when they were 25 hours old which also plays a huge part and I never pumped or supplemented so I took care of all feedings by bfing. We did not have any outside help past the first week which also comes into play.

Basically their schedules were backwards (up all night, sleep during the day) so right from the start we had to only let them nap 2 hrs maximum during the day or they'd be up all night. My husband basically got nighttime duty with older dd while I had the twins with me in out king size bed. My twins tag-teamed so they literally would one fall asleep and the next would wake up, rinse and repeat over and over those first 2 weeks until their schedule flipped to regular night sleeping and day awake. I did cry a lot the first few weeks because the twins took about 45% of my time each so my elder dd was only getting about 10% but that quickly changed when they were about a month. It's ok to cry and be frustrated that you can't do everything that you used to. I really had to let my dh take over a lot with elder dd and now they have a much better bond than ever before.

We both had a ring sling which he would wear one and I would wear the other around the house (only a few times could I get them both in the same sling because they were too big!!) but now we both use a mei tai on our backs which has been a life saver! We didn't start cding until the twins were about 3 months but it's been smooth sailing with that ever since.

Anyway, on to a typical newborn day for us. Elder dd woke up husband so he would change her and give her food, put her in front a sesame street episode then perhaps start some breakfast. I would wake up with twins and change them and immediately nurse them. If they woke at same time I would tandem feed on the huge twin boppy, otherwise I would do one at a time. Then we each would hold one while we scarfed down some food. Then it would probably be time for more diaper changes. DH would leave to go to work (sometimes he could even take elder DD) and be gone anywhere from 3-10 hours. If I was alone I just literally went from one baby to the next or giving DD food and diaper changes. We really didn't have much play time unless both babies were napping. Then when he got home he would watch the girls while I made a quick dinner. After dinner was the witching hour for the twins, they would tandem nurse from 6 pm until midnight some nights. DH would put elder DD to bed and then clean kitchen while I tandem nursed all night. When he got done with general clean up we'd watch a movie or I'd read a book while nursing. Then I'd take one baby to bed and nurse her to sleep while he rocked the other. He'd bring in second twin and I'd nurse her to sleep. Usually I'd just go to bed with them and he'd go to elder DD. All night it would be nursing and changing diapers until they stopped pooping at night (thank goodness) then I just nurse them.

On good days when he was home or didn't work very long I could clean house and when I wore a baby I could easily do laundry, pick up toys, vacuume, etc... it's not as hard as you think it's going to be and elder DD loves her sisters and now keeps them entertained so I can get even more done.

ETA: My rule was when all 3 awake I take care of them fully, when 2 were awake I would take care of them or clean, when 1 was awake I would be nursing/cleaning/internet time, when no one was awake it was internet time, haha. Good luck to all of you!!

[colsxjack]

Our twins are almost 4 weeks old. And our older DD is almost 3.5 yrs old.

It is hard and tiring, but not quite as hard as we thought it was going to be. Our DD was a pretty high needs baby and toddler. Our two boys are not as high needs. They sleep much better, they can be put down (our DD didn't allow us to put her down until she was over 1 yr old), they will sometimes even fall asleep on their own!

Our day consists of:

DD wakes up and comes into our room to get into the family bed and "look at the babies". She recently moved to her own room. It has been a good thing, as all the night parenting would have disturbed her. I bring her downstairs to start her breakfast, playing, getting ready. Soon after (within 20-30 minutes) my wife comes down with one or both boys. We change them both and she feeds them. Either tandem or one at a time. She reads DD a book or three while nursing and while DD eats breakfast. Luckily our DD holds reading as one of her favourite activities. Something my wife can do easily with even both twins awake or nursing, so it enables her and my DD to spend good time together.

After breakfast, I get DD ready and take her to preschool and come back home. She loves preschool. And so we have kept her in for now.

The babies sleep a lot. Right now, at 3+ weeks old, the whole routine of the day is feed, change, rock, comfort, sleep, feed, change, feed, change, feed, change, rock, new sleeper, change sheets, feed, etc, etc, etc.

During the day, they feed and sleep randomly. Some times there is 1.5 hours between feedings, sometimes 20 minutes, sometime 2.5 hours. They need changed ever 30-45 minutes or so. they go through about 3-5 sleepers a day.

We are using disposables right now, as they HATE to be wet feeling and as long as they are peeing every 2 minutes, we cannot deal with that many changes or unhappy baby moments. Hopefully their wetting and such evens out a bit soon, then we can start on the cloth.

Each baby will have some diaper free nap in the morning at some point.

We bathe them every other day. One right after the other.

They eat either one right after the other, or both at the same time.

We try hard to call them by their names. But mostly we are at the point of calling them "this one and that one". As in "Has this one been changed? How about that one? Does this one need a new outfit? How about that one? When did that one finish eating?" etc etc.

Night time is coming together.

After dinner we start to wind down the day. I get our DD ready for bed, brush teeth, pj's etc. We try to get her down for 7-7:30pm. Then we all do "family reading" on the couch. (we used to do it in bed, but more difficult with the babies). After family reading of 2 books, I take her upstairs, we read 1-2 books in her bed, turn out the light, have our nightly 5-10 minute chat about our day, and then go to sleep. I lay with her until she falls asleep. Half the nights I fall asleep too and my wife has to come wake me up to help her get the night ready for the boys. That's about 8:30-9:00pm.

We change both babies and my wife tandem nurses. They will either fall asleep, or almost asleep, while nursing and usually be pretty easy to get down. Right now they sleep side-carred in a crib to our bed. For the first 2.5 weeks I was on the crib side. Now my wife is closer to them. She had a c-section, so our night time routine has recently changed as she has healed more.

Until 3 nights ago our night time went like:

10:30ish I change first baby, hand him to Mama who starts to nurse him while she sits up in bed with twin nursing pillow.

I change second baby and then hand him over. First baby is latched well and second baby gets latched on and they are tandem nursed.

I go to sleep while nursing happens unless Mama needs me.

Mama wakes me up to tell me first baby is finished. I burp him, change him if needed, swaddle him and rock him then put him down.

By that time, second baby is finished nursing so I do the same with him.

As soon as second baby is done nursing, Mama goes to sleep unless I need her.

1:30ish - One baby wakes and is hungry. I change baby, and hand baby over to Mama, who sits up with nursing pillow and starts to feed.

I wake up second baby (if he isnt already awake) and do the same for him

I sleep while they nurse. I put them back to sleep and down again.

Repeat again at 4:30 ish and again at 7:30ish.

The last few nights have changed a bit. Now my wife is more healed from the c-section and able to do some side laying nursing. But only one at a time.

She now sleeps on the crib side of the bed. When one wakes she wakes me up and I change him. I hand him back to her and she nurses him side laying. they either both fall alseep like that and stay like that until the other wakes, or she puts him back in the side carred crib. When the other wakes (usually within 30 minutes of first being nursed) we repeat. It is more feedings per night But remarkably we both feel more well rested this way.

We are going to get rid of the side car and go back to a full family bed soon so that my wife can have one on either side of her.

And we are looking forward to when they do not need so many night time diaper changes. We do the diaper before nursing, as diaper changes wakes them up.

[colsxjack]

Wow. That was long!

When it comes to having an older child plus the babies. We have been trying to do a few specific things.

1. Both babies are great nursers, so we have introduced a bottle once or twice. The plan is that Mama and older DD will have a 2 hour "date" on the weekend and I will be home with the boys. The ability to take the bottle is to make sure I can feed them if needed. Our DD refused to ever drink out anything but the breast.

2. We tell our DD that she has to wait her turn if she needs/wants us while we are tending to a baby. But, we also tell the babies the same thing if they fuss while we are tending to our DD. We make a bit of a deal out of it. "Oh baby, wait your turn, your big sister needs Daddy right now. I will be with you in a minute" I think that this helps our DD know that her needs are still imporant and that she hasn't been pushed aside for the babies.

3. We lavish some attention on DD, and use the babies to also give her attention. We hold and talk with the babies and talk about DD so she can hear. "Oh baby, see that amazing tower your big sister built our of blocks? Isn't it cool? You can do that because you're a baby, but maybe she will teach you when you;re older". Stuff like that.

4. We let her help when she is interested, but do not push it.

5. We have laxed the rules a bit. Sometimes we have "living room pic-nic" and all eat at the coffee table instead of in the dining room. We re-worked what rules we will fight for and what we will let go. It has been difficult with DD. But I think it is more to do with her being in the trying threes than with the babies. But she is at a stage where she is wanting to push every button and every limit.

6. She has been having moments of wanting to be a baby. And we go with it and play the game with her. If she says she is a baby we call her baby, offer to feed her, let her crawl, etc. Since we started going with it, each episode only lasts 5-10 minutes.

7. Both me and my wife spend one on one time with her throughout the week, and for a longer period on the weekend. (She is in preschool Mon to Fri for full days). She starts full day kindergaten in Sept.

Good luck. It is tiring and trying. But I am sure it will get better and easier in ways as time goes on.

We are still in the brutal needy with almost no reward stage of early infancy. We are both looking forward to the time when the babies give back with some cooing, smiles, interaction, etc.

[rinap]

We call our girls by name most of the time, but often in the middle of the night in the early months it was "other one baby." As in "this baby is fed, can you bring me other one baby?"

[momma-bear]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

As uncomfortable as it is to be pregnant, I have a feeling that sh*t is about to get really hard.

Haha, I have been having the very same sentiment. I caught myself saying "I can't wait to not be pregnant" yesterday. And then I started thinking about how much harder it will be once they're on the outside of me. My fiance and I went hiking yesterday with some steep off trail scrambling. I was huffing, puffing and grunting my way up the rocky hill pretty uncomfortably. But I realized we won't even be attempting backcountry anything with two newborns for a while.

Thank you for starting this thread. It's putting things into better perspective for me. On the one hand we don't have a sibling to care for in addition to our twins. On the other hand, we have absolutely no experience caring for infants. This entire pregnancy has been about readjusting expectations and I imagine that trend will continue. 

Thank you to everyone who posted in such detail about the logistics of your days. Very helpful. I will add that a friend of mine with babies only 10 months apart (not the same as twins I know, but some similar challenges) said that getting her kids used to being worn often and learning to breastfeed discreetly in public were the two essentials that made it possible for her to function outside of the house on her own. And although she cloth diapered 90% of the time. "Sometimes you just don't want to be hauling shitty diapers along with everything else. Take a few disposables." Good luck to us all. ;) 

[~Caitlyn~]

Sorry if this is too long - My girls are about 11 weeks old now, and I have a 3year old dd who goes to preschool 2 days a week.
The first month was chaos... We lived downstairs on the pullout couch and "camped out" because it seemed easier for us, since none of us really followed the day/night rhythm. We had a lot of help with our older dd. Friends and family took her out to do fun things almost daily, and my husband had a month off. We had meals brought to us 3 days a week for the first couple months, which was perfect. Not too much or too little.
Now things have gotten MUCH better. We co-sleep with the twins. They use to sleep on me- I would lay down, and dh would lay one in each arm, swaddled. Then we would get bigger stretches. We side-car'd the crib, and just the last couple of weeks I've been able to put them down in the crib next to me. I didn't feel comfortable laying them in between us on the bed because our 3 yo comes and joins us most nights and I was a little nervous about her rolling on them.
Nighttime isnt awful, but its harder than it was with 1 baby because I can't side lay nurse all night and not wake up. (yet, but now getting closer) I tandem nurse most of the time, and keep my pillow by the bed. When one baby wakes up, I have my dh change them, swaddle them and put them on my twin breast friend pillow. I nurse them and surf on my phone in bed (or fall asleep sitting up) then put them down next to me in the crib. I use to wake dh back up to help me lay them down when they slept on me. This usually guarantees a 3 hr stretch (or more!) because they both just ate. Now, if they've had a long stretch, I've noticed one of the girls will sleep longer than the other and so after the first couple of feedings I'll only nurse the baby who needs it side laying until the other one wakes up, then ill put the first one back in the crib and nurse the other baby side laying.
I gave each baby their own breast, but I switch them occasionally so that they get a taste of the other side.
Mornings are the weirdest...we don't have it worked out yet. My 3 yo wakes us up and needs breakfast and the twins just like to nurse all morning... So, I nurse them and we all hang out in my bed...then we make it downstairs and I put the girls in the swings...I have two swings, but I just recently saw a cool blog and that mom puts both babes in the same swing (swaddled). I make my dd breakfast and drink some coffee.. If I'm lucky- I get the babies back to sleep for 2-3 hr nap during which time I can play/craft with my 3 year old... If I'm not so lucky and they want to nurse - I sit on the couch with my twin pillow and either read to my 3 yo, or more likely - I let her watch tv. We never use to watch tv...super rare... Now, almost daily. I feel bad, but at least we are watching tv together on the same couch.
When one baby is sleeping in the swing, we'll go outside to play and I'll wear the other baby in an ergo or rs.
Nap time is either great with all 3 kids sleeping- in which case ill wash diapers (we wash about every other day or every two days). All other chores usually wait until my dh is home.
On tues and thurs when my dd is in preschool, I can run to the store after dropping her off because the babies are usually sleeping from the car ride. I wear one baby in the store and push a double stroller so I can fill the unused side up with groceries.
The hardest times are when my 3 yo is bored and I am nursing both babies... That's when she gets into mischief, or gets whiney because she's not getting enough attention. She's kind of lost interest in playing by herself...so I told her that we need 30 mins a day of "focus time" where we don't talk, and she needs to play by herself.
The two days a week preschool is really nice...for her - socialization playground time, and structured learning time... We really can't afford it since I am not working, but... It gives me time to bond with the babies alone on those days, and let them sit in the swings a bit more so that I cam play with my dd on the other days without feeling as guilty.
Basically- we are still muddling through it.. It's harder to get out with 3 kids (my dh and I both wear a baby and chase around our dd), but from what I've heard - a lot of the other issues would be issues with just one baby as well. I wouldn't know we watch more tv - but honestly, the end of twin pregnancy it was harder to give dd the attention that she needed. I was beat all of the time - now I have more energy, but sometimes trapped on the couch nursing both babies - but when I can play, we can wrestle/tickle/run/swing/slide... The babies sleep a lot, so I'm sure everything will change when they are mobile!
The first month was hard...but you adjust, and now it's just life. It's actually really enjoyable most days- a lot of work, but worth 10x more when I'm cuddled up with all three kids in the big bed, or seeing the twins smile at each other when nursing, or smiling while watching their big sister do anything. They are content to watch her pretty much all day, they find her very interesting. It's super cute.

[mamacolleen]

I just wanted to add to colsxjack post..... he summed up our days really well but there are a couple of things I wanted to add. One, we have a ton of help. We live with a very close friend who has taken over most of the housework. I'm still able to do a little laundry some days and most evenings can get a quick surface tidy in... but that's about it. Colsxjack does all the dinner prep/cooking.... with the help of my mum, we put up about a month's worth of freezer meals before they were born and also majorly stocked up on quick convenience foods. Somedays our dinner is a fried egg sandwich with raw veg sticks on the side but that's fine.

We've also arranged to have someone with me every day until the twins are about 7 weeks and then cut that to half the days for the next couple weeks. I think this first month would have been much much more brutal if we didn't have the help and if the boys were more high needs. Also, although they're well-established breastfeeders and I have a little over-supply even and they are gaining weight really well, they don't seem to nurse as often as I remember DD nursing. Some evenings they'll cluster feed for a little bit (esp. K) but for the most part they're pretty good about not constantly nursing.... it makes a huge difference to being able to get things done.

The two biggest challenges for me right now are finding time to "bond" with each one individually.... there's just not that much time to spend with each one on one during the day when they're awake. I do feel like I'm constantly juggling their needs and wondering whether I'm shortchanging one or the other (or my DD). Second is the logistics of getting them out of the house. I haven't taken them out alone yet. I usually do the pick-up of DD from preschool now and I have to have someone else with me. I'm not babywearing yet because of c-sec recovery (plan to start in the new year) and so loading them both up in the stroller or car is challenging. Plus, they sleep the WHOLE TIME we're out with me and don't usually wake to cue to feed so it's hard to be out for long.... I have to really plan ahead so that I know I will have time to wake them up to eat if we're going to be out longer.

I do have to say though that I was really really really nervous about having 2 newborns and my 3 yo and it hasn't been as bad as I anticipated. Even the sleep deprivation is already starting to feel more manageable. And this phase, brutal though it can be some days, is tons better than the last month or so of pregnancy. I honestly was SO uncomfortable and sore and couldn't do ANYTHING a reasonable person could do. (I gained something like 85 pounds and lost half of it in the first few days postpartum). At least now I can move around and actually sit on the floor and play with DD for 10 minutes! I never want to experience the last month of that pregnancy again. It was way worse than this past 4 weeks has been.
 

[Quinalla]

Thanks everyone who has responded, I'm still a little ways away (18 months) but I'm getting a bit worried too! My Mom will be on hand for some of the time and DH is planning to take off more time from work this time, but still, I'm nervous. DD was very high needs and was not a good sleeper, so I'm hoping these babies won't be like that! And I am planning to send DD to daycare part-time (probably 3 full days a week) as I think she and I will both be a wreck if she doesn't get that time in, but she will also still get some time to bond with her new siblings. (I work FT right now so she is in daycare FT and really thrives there.) It is really great to hear from all of you who have BTDT recently, I do have three Aunts who had twins, but the youngest pair is in college now, so it is pretty distant for them to give specific advice and breakdowns like this.

[13pumpkins]

I'm not really sure if my input will be of help as I do not have twins, but I do have multiples.  I think the biggest take home message I have found from our experience and those I have met in person with multiples is that "you just do."  I could not have prepared myself.  I could not have even managed it but then they were born and "I just do."  Sometimes, poorly. Sometimes fabulously.  But I think it is just like being a mom.  I worried when they brought Baby B into the room and then worried again when Baby C joined us but somehow, it all fell in place very quickly.