My son is dead.

[Right of Passage]

Not sure where to post this, not sure there are others like me here.

You can read the details I've been able to share so far on my blog. http://www.bramxavier.blogspot.com/

How do you function? How do you breathe? 

I keep going for my other kiddos but this is just unescapable and a huge burden to bare. 

Edited by Right of Passage - 12/21/12 at 10:08pm

[mamacatsbaby]

Oh I am so, so, so very sorry about your son. I don't even know what to say but I didn't want to read this and not post. I cannot even begin to imagine how I would function as I don't think I would be able to. I'm just so very sorry...

[Adaline'sMama]

I can't find your blog, but after a quick google search, I think I understand what happened. I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss. I have no idea what it would be like to lose a child that was as old as yours, but I know what the aftermath of losing your child is like.

ETA: I found it. I am so sorry you had to see those things, and that your son is no longer with you. There are no words.  

How do you function, how do you breathe? 

My answer: Barely, with drugs. 

After Charlie died, I was on a pretty hefty dose of zoloft. It was the only thing other than my little girl that kept me alive. There were nights where I felt like I wouldnt make it until the sun came up and people were awake to make sure that I was alright. You will breathe again- you will. We're still pretty raw, and there are still so many time when I close my eyes and see things I can't unsee, but it is so much better than it was in the first couple of months. 

I know there are other mamas here who have lost babies and children- know that you aren't alone. My blog is on my profile if you want to read about some of ways that I felt after his passing, and as I have started to heal. It's not an easy journey, and it will never be over. 

Edited by Adaline'sMama - 12/21/12 at 10:14pm

[rnra]

I'm so very very sorry for what you're going through.  I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your son.  Grief is a terribly dark, confusing, angry, and lonely place to be. One suggestion--see if your library carries the book called "Tear Soup."  That book was literally a lifesaver for me.

[Yuba_River]

I'm so very sorry.


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[amamalou]

I am so sorry for your profound loss. My heart goes out to you.

[nigellas]

Oh mama...  I am so very sorry.  (((hugs)))) (I wish I could give you a real one instead of these silly internet ones)

[bmcneal]

I am so sorry for your loss, mama. *hugs*

[rightkindofme]

I am so sorry. :( How are you doing?

[Breathless Wonder]

We have a mutual friend on Facebook, who posted your story.  I have thought about you, and your family, every single day since you lost Bram.  I am so, so sorry for your loss. 

[rtjunker]

I'm so sorry. I can't fathom your grief as I've never lost a child. I have grieved.
How do you function? Barely. You go through the motions, you wish it had been you, or anyone else. You wonder every minute how the world keeps turning around you. And you just go on, any way you can with every moment full of loss, until one day a minute happens that you forget for one moment, so you feel guilty. It goes up and down, some days better, some days worse, until life creeps back in, whether you want it to or not.
That was my experience, everyone does it differently.
Accept as much help as you can.
I'm so sorry.

[Bokonon]

I am so, so sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine.  

[cocoanib]

There are no words, but I am so sorry you are going through this.

Prayers to you and your family.

[Mami_Feliz]

I am so sorry for your loss. I just can't imagine. So so sorry.

[EarthRootsStarSoul]

I'm so sorry.  :( 
 

[Nazsmum]

 so sorry

[Storm Bride]

I know your story from Facebook. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful little boy.

I lost Aaron at birth, which just isn't the same thing - he wasn't wound into the fabric of our lives the way Bram was into yours. But, I mostly kept going, cliche as it sounds, by going one day at a time....just kept putting one foot in front of the other, crying when I needed to (a lot), etc.

There's nothing I can say that will help, but I'm so sorry.

[Ella-6]

I read your blog. Thanks so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss.
You are a strong and powerful woman. I could really feel that through your words.

[TizTaz5]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry.

[chiromama01]

I'm so sorry. Praying for you and your family.