I'm so sorry mama... You may not feel like it, but I think you've been very, very strong. You all have my well wishes, and prayers, and my strength, should you need it.
- topicGrief And Losstagged by System, 12/21/12
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My son is dead. - Page 3post #41 of 641/9/13 at 8:39pmpost #42 of 641/9/13 at 8:57pmpost #43 of 641/11/13 at 1:36pmpost #44 of 642/3/13 at 9:48pm
I am so very very sorry for your loss.
My son is 2.5....my only child...and if he was to be taken from me...I could no longer live.....
You are such a very strong women.
I read your whole blog.....it made tears roll down my face.
I would hate the whole world if I were in your shoes.
But you stay positive & strong....you are an amazing women.
My heart and soul are with you and yours,
Nikkipost #45 of 642/11/13 at 11:22pmThere are no words to express how sorry I am and how much I wish I could bring you solace. Your son sounds like he was a beautiful little guy with a strong name. Its so hard to know what to say when a mother loses a child--i think thats why people try to ignore the fact that it happens. That is very unfortunate and i wish things would change. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayerspost #46 of 642/19/13 at 7:23pmpost #47 of 642/19/13 at 7:29pmpost #48 of 642/19/13 at 7:52pmOh, you beautiful lady. It is so special and rare that your little children nursed together like that with you. Something to treasure so dearly. Your strength for your children is a shining light. Love, love, love to you all. I wish I had words to express how I admire and am awed by you.post #49 of 642/24/13 at 12:19pmpost #50 of 642/25/13 at 11:10amSo heartbroken for you. You're grief will always be with you. I have lost two children. I lost my third child eight and a half years ago and my fifth child two years ago. The grief will subside, but will never disappear. I have just learned a new way to live. Losing a child is the worst experience. I still have a relationship with my daughter's that died. They are still my children, Just like Bram will always ne your son. I don't have good advice to help you:(, just take it a day at a time, be gentle with yourself, enjoy the happy moments, set aside time daily to grieve, planting a memorial garden, scrapbooking can be therapeutic. I went to a support group and found like many that it was too hard on me emotionally. Know whatever crazy grief feelings you are experiencing that you ARE NOT alone. Your blog is good, you may want to journal too. I just want to give you a hug!! The change of seasons (wintet to spring) may be of some relief. I personally have a more difficult time in the winter, maybe b/c my last child died the day after Christmas. Plan your special days like Bram's bday, know in advance what you will do that day. We still celebrate our children's birthdays with cakes, etc. Email me if you would like firstname.lastname@example.org. Namaste.post #51 of 643/3/13 at 9:16ampost #52 of 643/18/13 at 7:22pmpost #53 of 643/24/13 at 2:28pmThread Starterpost #54 of 643/24/13 at 2:49pmpost #55 of 644/13/13 at 7:47pm
I am sitting here at the computer, reading your blog, bawling my eyes out. This world is so unfair. A parent should never lose a child, ever. It is so wrong, and I hate it. I hate the pain you are going through, and I hate the fear I have every single day of losing my own children. I've had those nightmares like the ones you've described, and awoke crying and afraid. There is no future to daydream about, because in an instant your life can change. I accept your challenge, to be bold, to love, and to be fearless--in honor of Bram. All we have for certain is the present, and there is no reason to let one moment slip by without showing your loved ones how important they are.
I'm sorry you, your son, and your family have to suffer this way.post #56 of 645/3/13 at 10:57am
I was just reading your blog and I can't believe the comments you've gotten. What in the hell is wrong with people? He was a child, standing there, a spilt second, anything could go wrong or nothing at all. For goodness sake, I'm outraged for you.
I'm so sorry, people just don't understand, there are no guarantees in life, you literally NEVER know what might happen. It's not about doing everything right.
Stay strong.post #57 of 645/4/13 at 2:33pmpost #58 of 648/22/13 at 2:07pm
There are no words. You are a stranger to me, yet your grief is palpable. The experience is horrific and beyond a nightmare. You are a stranger to me, yet if I could, I would hold you while you grieved. I am so sorry.
I recently experienced a loss in my life and was sent the following blessing. I want to share it with you.
May you know that absence is full
of tender presence and that nothing
is ever lost or forgotten.
May the absence in your life be full of eternal echo.
May you sense around you the
secret Elsewhere which holds
the presences that have left your life.
May you be generous in your embrace of life.
May the sore well of grief turn into
a well of seamless presence.
May your compassion reach out to
the ones we never hear from
and may you have the courage to spread out for
the excluded ones.
May you become the gracious
and passionate subject of
your own life.
May you not disrespect your
mystery through brittle
words or false belonging.
May you be embraced by
all that is both sacred and good
where dawn and twilight are one, and may your belonging inhabit its deepest dreams within the
shelter of the Great Belonging.
-John O'Donohue (from Eternal Echoes)post #59 of 648/23/13 at 3:31ampost #60 of 648/28/13 at 8:27am
Oh. I just finished reading over your blog after stumbling across this post. I...am so sorry. My heart is aching after reading what I read. I wish you lived close by, were my neighbor, my friend. I would just sit with you if you needed it. When I read what you wrote about victim blaming and the comments some posted...it makes me hate people. I don't want to hate people. But I don't understand how people say the things they say sometimes. It makes me think bad things like how I want to punch those people in the face. Maybe that's terrible to say. But WTF. Why would people mess with a grieving mother? Like...W.....T.....F!
I'm sorry. So sorry.
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