when to keep sick kids home..absent days limit.

[PPK]

Hi,

My son started K this year and is already up to 8 or 9 of the 18 absences allowed. 

I sent him today for an early release day (last day before break), and he was ok for the sing-along (I attended and kept an eye on him), but then had recess and all the running aggravated his coughing.  At class party he sounded horrendous and I took him home within a minute of severe cough acting up.  There were other moms present (2 were pregnant) and 20 kids in the room.  I saw 2 moms shoot each other the eye roll of 'why is this kid here and so sick?' look.. (they didn't know I was his mom yet).

I kept DS home T and Wed, had him go in Th and teacher said he seemed fine, but today (fri) I felt so irresponsible for having him there!!

The issue is the 18 day limit on absences for the district; we are half-way there already.

I'm frustrated that public school is this way; I don't know what to do.  

Would like to hear other people's experiences with the limited days and if it was negotiable in the end.. I will talk with principal when school is back in session in Jan..

Thanks!

[mtiger]

A lot will depend on the school district. Our schools allow 10 unexcused absences per semester. An absence is excused if it is due to illness (and documented by a doctor's note), death in the family (with appropriate documentation), religious observance, etc. No documentation? Unexcused.

When a student approaches the limit, a letter is sent home to the parent(s). We never got past that point, so I am not sure what the next step is. But I believe that a meeting with the truant officer and school officials occurs, and if needed, a court hearing.

The most convenient solution is to make sure that each of your son's absences is excused.
 

[PPK]

Its 18 total (excused and unexcused combined..).

[chel]

Most schools I've had kids in have been very understanding. My oldest has a lot of both type.
Just the other day my dd was sent home with a 100.2 fever. She had a sore throat, but wanted to stay. She was trying to call home for meds when they took her temp. Wasn't allowed back in class due to fever. Though when at home I was never able to register an abnormal temp. Acting normal the rest of the day. She was told to stay home the next, too.

Rules like that make it hard to have them tough it out like a working adult would. So I don't feel bad pressing the limit of missed days.

[Nightwish]

Our school is pretty relaxed about it... especially in kindergarten. I took my son out of school for a month so we could travel to see his grandparents.

I would talk to the teacher and / or principal, I'm sure they will be flexible about it.
 

[mamazee]

I would talk to the teacher, or maybe the pricipal since the rule comes from the schoola and not the teacher, and I wonder if you had a note from the doctor if that would help. The issue isn't to make kids with legitimate illness come to school sick - it's too discourage kids from missing too much school who don't take attendance seriously. There should be some flexibility. What if a child had a very serious illness, or needed major surgery that would lead to lots of time missed? There are reasons why they'd have to accept more sick days than that.

Good luck!

[One_Girl]

I suggest being more careful about what you keep him home for or get a doctor's note each time. A cough can last for a long time in a healthy person and isn't a reason for excluding a child, which your pediatrician will most likely tell you if you bring your child in and ask for a note. The schools have a policy for what to exclude for and our peds office is a little more lax.

[meemee]

in K and first - its always negotiable. at least in our school district. we went over and no one said anything. but the teacher knew our strategy of why missing so many days. 

second grade and we got a truancy letter. they no longer was so understanding. dd decided she would take going to school seriously. we missed a lot of days to adjustment. 

[kblackstone444]

My boyfriend and I have had trouble with all four of our children that are in school and attendance this year.

My son is 17.  He's missed alot of school due to Depression and he's past the limit of how many days he can miss.  I'm told that he can technically make it up, by doing the work from a class or two at a time, staying after school.

My boyfriend's daughter is in 7th grade.  She missed alot of school also due to Depression and genuine illness.  Her school was not as understanding- they called the truancy officer on her and brought my boyfriend to court.  Luckily, we got an understanding judge who was sympathetic that she's been having a hard time since her Mother's death, and was given the opportunity to make up the classwork (and getting therapy).

My boyfriend's son in in 3rd grade.  He missed almost a month of school already, due to sickness- my boyfriend and his two oldest kept passing that sickness back and forth to a ridiculous level.  The school called and checked on him, but were okay with letting him make up his work.

My boyfriend's little one is in Kindergarten.  She missed quite a few days as well, 'cause my boyfriend had a hard time getting her to school some of the days when he was so sick he could barely get out of bed.  I don't neccesarily agree with him, but my boyfriend's view is, "it's only Kindergarten".  Maybe he's right- the school has shown no interest at all in her absenses.

Sometimes sicknesses are unavoidable and kids miss school.  It seems that most schools will give the children the opportunity to make up the work.

[4evermom]

K isn't required in our state. Now they make it sound like it is, but if a kid didn't finish K or was absent a lot, the issue would simply be whether he was ready for 1st, not that he didn't "graduate" K. I think schools are more flexible than they let on for K. Also, your ds might not get sick quite as often from here on out. And yes, those coughs can linger forever. My ds will cough for weeks after some colds.

[Neera]

I would double check with the school if the 18 days include all absences. Seems like v. little especially for K since when they are younger their immunes are still not there and many kids are in the company of other kids for the first time. Dd is in K and has already missed 8 days with doctor's letters. The last time she was sick and returned the school nurse actually recommended keeping her at home one more day because of a still v. bad cough. I actually have to check on my district's sick absences.

Edited by Neera - 12/26/12 at 7:18am

[nextcommercial]

My daughter missed 26 days of school in first grade (all before Christmas) and over a month of school (Before October) in 7th grade.  

Other than a phone call during 1st grade from the school nurse, I had no problems with it ever.  We have been in two different districts for each of these issues.  

By third grade, She NEVER made it through an entire year of school with less than 18 absenses.   But, we were never contacted about it other than first grade.  In 7th grade, she had West Nile virus.   She did most of her work from home, and it was an awful, horrible year... but, I never heard anything from anybody.  I even went to her parent teacher conference and they said "She's actually getting Cs even though she hasn't been here most of the year".

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by PPK 

Hi,

My son started K this year and is already up to 8 or 9 of the 18 absences allowed. 

I sent him today for an early release day (last day before break), and he was ok for the sing-along (I attended and kept an eye on him), but then had recess and all the running aggravated his coughing.  At class party he sounded horrendous and I took him home within a minute of severe cough acting up.  There were other moms present (2 were pregnant) and 20 kids in the room.  I saw 2 moms shoot each other the eye roll of 'why is this kid here and so sick?' look.. (they didn't know I was his mom yet).

I kept DS home T and Wed, had him go in Th and teacher said he seemed fine, but today (fri) I felt so irresponsible for having him there!!

The issue is the 18 day limit on absences for the district; we are half-way there already.

I'm frustrated that public school is this way; I don't know what to do.  

Would like to hear other people's experiences with the limited days and if it was negotiable in the end.. I will talk with principal when school is back in session in Jan..

Thanks!

I thought if you have a doctors note it is excused and wouldn't count towards the total. But not sure. Surely they won't hold it against him, especially in kindergarten. For children who stayed home the first 5 years of life their immunity is not built up.

[Bulletproof26]

Originally Posted by PPK 

Hi,

My son started K this year and is already up to 8 or 9 of the 18 absences allowed. 

I sent him today for an early release day (last day before break), and he was ok for the sing-along (I attended and kept an eye on him), but then had recess and all the running aggravated his coughing.  At class party he sounded horrendous and I took him home within a minute of severe cough acting up.  There were other moms present (2 were pregnant) and 20 kids in the room.  I saw 2 moms shoot each other the eye roll of 'why is this kid here and so sick?' look.. (they didn't know I was his mom yet).

I kept DS home T and Wed, had him go in Th and teacher said he seemed fine, but today (fri) I felt so irresponsible for having him there!!

The issue is the 18 day limit on absences for the district; we are half-way there already.

I'm frustrated that public school is this way; I don't know what to do.  

Would like to hear other people's experiences with the limited days and if it was negotiable in the end.. I will talk with principal when school is back in session in Jan..

Thanks!

Two of my five kids currently attend school.. My son is in first grade and my daughter is in Kindergarten. I think our schools limit is fifteen days. My daughter has already missed eight or nine days and I have received a letter but I'm not stressing over it because no one knows my daughter better than me and If I feel she's too sick to go to school then she isn't going and I know my pediatrician will back me up on that without a doubt. My daughter was born with severe heart problems and isn't like most five or six years old. She does get sick easier because she has a weaker immune system , she's sick more than my other children and quite a few times a common cold has landed us in the hospital with her on oxygen because of breathing problems. When my daughter is sick she can hardly keep her eyes open and she's whinny plus because of her heart meds she isn't allowed to take cough / cold meds and ALOT of other medications. I'm not going to send her to school when she is sick just so they can call me to go pick her up anyways nor will I have her sitting there sick. I keep my child home when she is sick so she doesn't disturb the class or even worse get them sick. I wouldn't worry about it too much and if you have any concerns call and talk with the school.

[Neera]

Originally Posted by Bulletproof26 


Two of my five kids currently attend school.. My son is in first grade and my daughter is in Kindergarten. I think our schools limit is fifteen days. My daughter has already missed eight or nine days and I have received a letter but I'm not stressing over it because no one knows my daughter better than me and If I feel she's too sick to go to school then she isn't going and I know my pediatrician will back me up on that without a doubt. My daughter was born with severe heart problems and isn't like most five or six years old. She does get sick easier because she has a weaker immune system , she's sick more than my other children and quite a few times a common cold has landed us in the hospital with her on oxygen because of breathing problems. When my daughter is sick she can hardly keep her eyes open and she's whinny plus because of her heart meds she isn't allowed to take cough / cold meds and ALOT of other medications. I'm not going to send her to school when she is sick just so they can call me to go pick her up anyways nor will I have her sitting there sick. I keep my child home when she is sick so she doesn't disturb the class or even worse get them sick. I wouldn't worry about it too much and if you have any concerns call and talk with the school.

Do you provide them with a doctor's letter when she's sick? My dd has asthma so if she's sick with strep or something else sometimes her asthma takes over and makes her take longer to recover. We recently got a progress report which also reported the # of sick days. I haven't called the school yet with the holidays and all that but I am hoping that with a doctor's letter they will excuse her.

[Bulletproof26]

I don't always provide a doctors excuse. I try to but some times we just call in to the dr instead of going in for an appointment. I was told that the limit is eighteen days and if doesn't matter if they are excused or not. If you miss three school days in a row then you do need a doctors excuse to go back. Excused absences most likely look better but in my case I fear were going to have issues either way. Last year I had to take her out of preschool because of her absences. She spent two weeks in Sept in the hospital and by the time Christmas rolled around the school was calling me almost every day over the absences. I even gave them doctor excuses and they still gave me a hard time. Truthfully I expect to have problems .. If I don't then great but if I do then I'm not surprised I guess lol.

[Neera]

Originally Posted by Bulletproof26 

I don't always provide a doctors excuse. I try to but some times we just call in to the dr instead of going in for an appointment. I was told that the limit is eighteen days and if doesn't matter if they are excused or not. If you miss three school days in a row then you do need a doctors excuse to go back. Excused absences most likely look better but in my case I fear were going to have issues either way. Last year I had to take her out of preschool because of her absences. She spent two weeks in Sept in the hospital and by the time Christmas rolled around the school was calling me almost every day over the absences. I even gave them doctor excuses and they still gave me a hard time. Truthfully I expect to have problems .. If I don't then great but if I do then I'm not surprised I guess lol.

That sucks. Our kids aren't allowed to even be sick?

[meemee]

i think this is a case of miscommunication.

if you have a chronically ill child you do have recourses. I am not sure what the right ways are - IEP or 504 - something in that area due to medical necessity. i think something needs to be documented and this IS written in school policy. perhaps check the Special Needs forum here for more information. my friends son had cancer - in remission now - and he has a medical something with the school so they know he will be missing chunks of days. i just dont know what the procedure is. he missed a lot of school from k thru 3rd grade. 

you might have to talk to the principal or district. my friends son used to take work home and do it in the hospital, so even if he missed school he didnt fall behind. 

i can understand the school's point of view too. esp. in states where they are paid for the days the student attends school. our public schools are really hurting. they are struggling to even get tissues and toilet paper - leave alone school supplies. so losing money really is a great burden on them. however if you have a valid reason - with a doctors assessment and right paperwork, there are ways around this.

i cant imagine a chronically sick child being denied education.  

[Bulletproof26]

I know there are some resources available but im not sure of all of them and we do have a 504 but when setting up the 504 it was more for what her limits are because of her heart defects and allergies. For example she has a pacemaker and isn't allowed contact sports , we set up a plan for what to do in an emergency ,talked about her food allergies ( severe allergy to egg and is prescribed an epi pen our dr dont want used on her cause of heart ) but nothing was in it stating " child will miss large amounts of school due to colds " lol. I don't even know if something like that could be added to it. The school work isnt an issue because it is being sent home and it is being done so shes not missing the work. The school is well aware of my daughters medical conditions ( Principal , Nurse , Teacher & Secretary ) but after reading what your saying I do understand and agree. I'm going to call back to the school again and speak with the principal. I got to run and get them off the bus .. Be back soon

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by Bulletproof26 

I know there are some resources available but im not sure of all of them and we do have a 504 but when setting up the 504 it was more for what her limits are because of her heart defects and allergies. For example she has a pacemaker and isn't allowed contact sports , we set up a plan for what to do in an emergency ,talked about her food allergies ( severe allergy to egg and is prescribed an epi pen our dr dont want used on her cause of heart ) but nothing was in it stating " child will miss large amounts of school due to colds " lol. I don't even know if something like that could be added to it. The school work isnt an issue because it is being sent home and it is being done so shes not missing the work. The school is well aware of my daughters medical conditions ( Principal , Nurse , Teacher & Secretary ) but after reading what your saying I do understand and agree. I'm going to call back to the school again and speak with the principal. I got to run and get them off the bus .. Be back soon

Yes, you can add extended absences to a 504. It is stated something like " X will be allowed extra absences due to illness and medical appointments as needed" No further explanation given.

My DD has a 504 and related to her medical concerns- she is ill a lot (currently at 12 days). BUT it is stated on her 504 that it is to be expected that between illnesses, and her medical appointments that it will happen. Often her illnesses are strep, cold, cough, etc but due to her own somewhat weak immune system- she gets everything that goes around and takes longer to recover.

She is doing exceptional at school and rarely misses more than 2 days in a row, but she often will not go more than 3 weeks without an absence or leave-early (medical appointment).