New Single Mom, Wondering about custody and child support

[AllisonKaty]

I have just left my son's father (not married) and moved out of state. Currently looking for employment, have great support system. 

My song is 20 months, still breastfeeding, attachment parenting, very strong bond with me.

His dad and I are trying to work out an agreement out of court. Is that a bad idea? Is there an agreement that we can just get notarized? 

He initially wanted 50/50 custody and joint legal custody, I told him I don't think that 50/50 residential custody is in his best interest especially at this age. He is a good guy, care for my son was 100% my responsibility. He provided financial support, but was not away from the home much. He yells for discipline. Has sole custody of his 10yo daughter.

I am trying to find an agreeable custody arrangement. I don't feel comfortable having my son stay for long periods of time (a week) without me at this age. 

He does not want to only travel to me to visit. 

He has also been asking about support. As of now I have no job and we are staying with my parents. It is hard for me to come up with what I will need. He has been great about it so far, paying for medicine when my son got sick, etc.

Any helpful suggestions?? Thanks!!!!!! 

[HappyHappyMommy]

Bumping this up! Anyone have experiences to share?
 

[greenemami]

What is the distance between you and your ex?  If it is considerable, you will unfortunately probably end up with having your son away from you for long periods if your ex is not willing to visit at your location.  I don't have any first hand experience with it, but I believe the standard is a few weeks in the summer plus school holidays-I would assume that is changed because he is so young, but still. 

Has your son done overnights yet?  If it is only an hour or two, you could still do every other weekend.  I agree that 50/50 is not really feasible at a distance, especially once your son is in school, activities, etc. 

As for support, I would recommend that you file through the court system-that way it can be decided for you according to whatever formula they come up with.  Or, go online and find a child support calculator where you can input yours and your ex's incomes (or your presumed income once you find employment) to get an estimation of what he can owe. 

Good luck!

[AllisonKaty]

My ex has decided to worship me like the goddess I am :)  We are trying to work it out. Thanks for the advice!