prenatal depression? « Back to Group Discussions

[SamiPolizzi]

Anyone ever had prenatal depression? I don't know if I do... but something is definitely not right. I don't feel like myself at all. It's like a have no emotions at all. I'm normally someone who watches birth videos and cries and now when I watch them I'm just like "Oh, the baby came out. That's nice." I feel like I don't care about anything. All day I'm exhausted and in pain and I count down the hours until DS's bedtime so I can just have a little bit of time to myself, but then as soon as I do I don't want to do anything. I also have almost no appetite at all, which is making it really hard to eat as much as I should be. I've sort of mentioned it to my midwife, and she always just says something about how the hormones can be really really intense. This feels like more than that. I never felt this way with my DS, and when I was pregnant with him I was 19 and single, so I had every reason to be unhappy. But I was fine. I don't know what this is, but it definitely doesn't feel right and I really don't know what to do. I'm starting to get really worried that I'm going to have PPD. 

[withlittlelungs]

I am pretty sure prenatal depression is a thing. I would highly recommend finding a counselor/therapist to talk to. I have a long history of depression, and at times it was greatly exacerbated by hormonal changes . I was depressed when I was pregnant with DS and it carried over into PPD. I wasn't seeking treatment for it and it was really hard to overcome. I think if you set yourself up with some support now, it will benefit you if you do develop PPD.
I can totally relate to how you are feeling. 

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk :)

[writermama12]

SamiP, I have felt depressed/angry/ultra sad on and off during this pregnancy, which is new for me during pregnancy. This is my third and I do not recall feeling this way before. So I can relate to your experience. When it hits me, I don't want to be near anyone and feel hatred for my family and myself. It gets scary and very heavy feeling. But it passes fairly quickly like within a day or two so I am pretty sure it is hormonal and nothing I need to deal with beyond coping strategies. I have not had PPD before so I don't know much about it, but I have had depression when I was in college and afterward and found that building a routine or ritual that I could count on every day doing something that I felt nourished me helped a lot. For me it was staying up after my DS went to bed and writing in my journal and maybe having a chocolate or tea (and unfortunately cigarettes, which my son didn't know about). I felt like a grown up again because I could have a treat without having to share it or explain myself or hide. I didn't like talking to a stranger about my feelings and preferred to write instead. I also took some medication for a little while that helped get me out of the funk too. Anyway, I wanted to share my experience with depression so that you know you aren't the only one.

[Melany]

I've actually been googling this for myself. I have not felt like myself for a while. It's better in the 3rd trimester, it was bad in the 2nd. In November I was just sad all the time and little things set me off. I don't feel like myself, I feel clingy and needy. If my MW doesn't call me back, I get all upset, which isn't like me. 

I've had some emotional roller coasters in the past, but it was after baby was born (or so I remember?). The worst was when I had nursing issues with my son. 

I don't know what to tell you. I haven't had the courage to say anything, but I am in a serious funk. The being by myself all the time really adds to it. I want to be around people, but it just isn't possible. I'm kind of glad baby will be born in the spring since the days will be longer and the weather nicer. I think that will help me at that point.

[Chapsie]

So sorry to hear this!

I have had postpartum depression (after my emergency cesarean with DS) and again after my two miscarriages and hemorrhage last year. It is so scary to not feel like yourself and to have intrusive thoughts.

Definitely bring it up again with your midwife! Perhaps she knows of a counselor in your area? I had a counselor who was free because she was getting hours for her masters degree. I met with her several times and it feels so good to just be really listened to.

Also... Please make sure you are taking vitamin d3. I live in an area where the winters are very dark and if I don't get my d3, it makes a huge difference in my mood. I take between 2000 and 4000 iu per day (gel capsule). It might really help.

In my circumstances, being alone with my kids was when I got really bad. I felt so lonely. Make sure you can get out and be around other moms several times a week. Is there a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at a local church you can join?

Reducing refined sugars in your diet and getting some exercise (like a brisk walk around the neighborhood 3-4 times a week) can also make a HUGE difference.

Lastly... What helped me the most was prayer. I spent a lot of time in my Bible and praying for God's peace and healing. I am fully healed now and feel amazing.

Keep us updated. Prenatal and postnatal depression can be serious. Be in contact with your midwife and your family about it. When I told my extended family about my depression last year after my losses, I told them that I didn't want to be alone and I had my sister, mom, or dad call or text me everyday just to see how I was doing. Something as simple as that can make a huge difference!

Much love to you!

[Bena]

I am not surprised to hear that some of us are feeling down...don't also forget that SADD is common at this time, what with the lack of light, and add to that the pg hormones and it is completely understandable. We are really dealing with a double whammy here.  Plus, those of us who are usually active in the winter (I am one of those, skiing, skating, ice climbing) do not have our usual burst of endorphins. 

Having said this, I completely agree with PP that it is something to look into! 
 

[becalive]

I had a bad spell of depression early on in my pregnancy with non stop need for crying and just emotional bursts that were not normal. I took Vit B complex and it helped clear it up alot and almost immediately! Still have times where I feel emotionally frazzled and I take it...... if anyone does take this, don't take it in the evening, it gave me so much energy I couldnt sleep.

[JennJenn84]

I am going through this as well. Mine stems from a VERY bad breakup back in October with the father of my unborn baby. You definitely are not alone hun. If you can, talk to a counselor.

[SamiPolizzi]

I was able to bring it up at my appointment with my midwife yesterday. Before then I hadn't even said anything to my DP. I have a really hard time talking about my feelings. I actually feel a little bit better just having finally been able to say something. My midwife suggested D3 (I recently moved to Portland. It's so dark and grey here!) and a B complex. She also said she could recommend a counselor if that was something I was interested in, but I'm really not right now.

All your responses have made me think it's probably just a combination of hormones and situation. I've noticed I usually feel fine when I'm around people. It's when I'm home all day with just my 3 year old that my mind goes to dark places. Unfortunately, I just don't have many friends here yet. We moved from IL to OR in the summer and I haven't really had a lot of opportunities to meet people. I do have two close friends who also moved here (both childless) and my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. So at least I'm not completely alone. I am really missing the amazing group of mamas I had back in IL though. 

Thanks so much for all the encouragement everyone. It is really helpful to know I'm not alone. 

[firespiritmelody]

I think the "Find Your Tribe" area of the forums here is still active. You might be able to find some local Mothering mama's in your area or get suggestions for play groups / MOPS / etc.

I take a B100complex and D3 daily as well (or, well, I try too!!) 

[SamSarah]

I spoke with my midwife last week about feeling pretty emotionally uneven.  

Things she recommended:  exercise - everyday - at least a walk around the block after dinner

Herbs: lemon balm tea. nettle tea (liver tonic).  Evening Primrose oil - orally 1-3 capsules/day

[LDoulaSteph]

Depression in pregnancy is definitely a very real thing and there are some online resources that could help you also. There is a group called Postpartum Support International. They can help direct you to the right place even though you are not in the postpartum period I would urge you to talk about this with someone, your midwife, or you can call PSI. They have a website as well where you can find your local volunteer to speak with. 

www DOT postpartum DOT net

[SlimP]

I've been there too, Sami, and it's not a good place to be in when you feel you should be 'glowing'. I've also had previous bouts of depression but the pregnancy hormones have made my prenatal depression an especially emotional ride.
Like Melany, I found the second trimester particularly hard but feel like I've turned a corner in the third. Recognising it and admitting to it really helped me and I'm making an effort with exercise, rest, diet, herbs, vitamin supplements and 'me' time. Talking and socialising helps me vent my emotions before all the little things mount up and get on top of me. I'm not there yet though and I found the last few days tough......I seem to attract drama even though all I want is peace and quiet......but I'm now seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
Prenatal depression often seems to dissipate later in pregnancy or after birth and it doesn't mean postnatal depression is also a given. As the hormonal balance shifts, our emotional spectrum will too. I'm just trying to believe I'm clearing out my mental junk so I can be a solid mother when my new little man arrives! Just know you're not alone and that it's a common but temporary condition.