Hello,
I am creating this thread in the hope that someone, somewhere, has some advice for me on this matter. Thank you in advance to any thoughtful responses that you may be able to offer.
I am writing this on behalf of my mother, who is 62 and a widow of 4 years. I am my mother's son, 25. My sister is 23, almost 24. My sister and her inability to get her life together is the subject of this post. My parents had my sister and I in their late 30's. My parents were married until they day they died. They were loving, nurturing parents who did anything and everything they could for us. We grew up not wanting really anything, a middle-class family. My father had a college education and provided well for us until his death 4 years ago. My mother was a homemaker who home-schooled my sister and I until high school age. My sister and I both went to a private school for high school, where we both graduated. We both worked in high school at a fast-food restaurant to gain work experience. My parents wanted us to get a feel for the value of money and the value of an honest days work.
I consider myself lucky to have had the upbringing that I have had. I know I am fortunate to have had the childhood that I referenced to above. I have provided the above information to give a sense of background of what my sister and I came from. Hopefully this can help eliminate or point out any factors contributing to her problem.
My sister barely can make her ends meet and is consistently asking for money from my mother and I. She also borrows money from her friends, but never pays it back. She works at a part-time retail job, not really interested in moving up or taking on a second job. She does not enjoy working, in her own words, and tries to work just enough to make ends meet. She has the best cable/internet package, a smart phone, video game systems, and music production equipment. Yet, she refuses to sell any of her possessions in order to pay for emergency bills or situations (IE: car battery died, overdraft fees, etc...). She has gained 100 LBS since high school and food is her comfort. She struggles with depression and self inflicted pain. She is introverted, but loves the attention she receives when recognized for anything. Her dream is to become a musician, but she doesn't put in the necessary work needed to make that dream a reality. She does not want to go to school, she does not want to better herself it seems in any way.
My mom loves her and somehow feels responsible for the way she is (she obviously isn't). She does enable her by helping her with money in situations like I referenced above. My mother wants to help my sister and has tried to set up counseling/mentoring sessions to get her going. My sister will go to these sessions but no change ever comes out of these arrangements. My sister has never had a boyfriend or even been out on a date, though she used to be beautiful and funny. She is extremely shy, but many people are that way. She plays RPG video games (World of Warcraft) religiously and I think she may be addicted to those type of games.
I have tried to help by being tough, being supportive, trying to find resources that could possibly grab her attention, etc... I want to help her help herself, but whatever I try to do, it does not seem to get through. I want to see her find some purpose, find something to grab onto. She is wasting the best years of her life. I do not know what to do. Any help or solutions you could give me would be much appreciated. I will try and check this thread often to answer any questions that you may have. Thank you again.
-Chris
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