Blessing way s AND Baby Showers « Back to Group Discussions

[moriahmoonstar]

Hi mamas,

Now that the belly is getting huge and I am officially at the halfway point today, my brain is going to more practical things that need to happen. writing lists, projects, purchases, and celebrations.

I know I will have a Blessing way, or Mother's Blessing. Ritual is very important to me and I believe women deserve to be honored in this way with other women. But, I have to say that as this list gets longer and the $$$ adds up I am really into the baby shower idea. Plus I know there are people I want to celebrate with that I wouldn't want to be part of an intimate ceremony. But I'm curious, do people do that? Is anyone else considering a blessing way? Will you still do a shower. I know part of the point of a blessing way is to celebrate the journey of motherhood and honer the rite of passage with presence and ceremony not with material objects. but hey, I need some stuff! My dh is also wanting to be involved, so I was thinking some sort of co-ed baby shower, maybe with a few blessings mixed in? My question is, can I invite some people to both? Would that be strange? The other issue I have is I moved 2 years ago from somewhere 4 hrs away, by my family that I had lived in for 8 years, and although my community is sweet here its much smaller, so where do I have these gatherings?

So, tell me, are you doing one or the other or both? And maybe we can talk here about cool ideas for either of these celebrations.

Thanks Ladies

[Quinalla]

I think my family will probably throw me a mini-shower, especially since we are having twins and really do need some stuff, or maybe my siblings and parents will just send me random gifts. First go around, I just had a shower, I'm not really familiar with a Blessing Way, but it sounds to me like having both would be fine as they are very different things. I think a co-ed shower is a great idea, probably more fun for everyone, while some of the traditional shower games are fun for me, others I find pretty annoying. We had a co-ed shower the first time and the only game we played was a baby/pregnancy quiz with fun prizes for the winners, though it was amusing since my pediatrician Aunt and I were complaining about how a couple of the answers we actually incorrect based on the most recent recommendations and info The tradition on my Mom's side is for everyone to have their baby shower at our big family 4th of July gathering. I wasn't pregnant during that and my babies will arrive before it, so not sure, but since it is a second pregnancy I wasn't really expecting another shower.

[pastormama]

Yeah, with a second baby, I'm not expecting a shower here.  That's fine.  Honestly, I'm a bit picky with what I want, and it drives me mad when people won't buy off the registry!  So, I'd rather just be selective and buy what I need.  But, like I said - second baby, so don't need much.  A Blessing Way sounds beautiful.  I just moved to a new place 6 months ago, and don't have much of a local network.  Not sure if I'd be able to pull it off.

[PhilsBabyMama]

I'd like to have a baby shower, even though this is our second baby. I never had one with my first (my family is in Maryland and we were living in Alaska. Now we live close enough for a visit), and frankly, we can never have enough cloth diapers! Seriously, though, I would like to celebrate this little guy with our friends and family, regardless of whether or not people decide they want to bring gifts.

[CoBabyMaker]

I have never been to a blessing way so i don't know much about them but here is my two cents.  It seems the people you would invite to a blessing way would be very close to you and those people would probably be understanding and want to be included in a shower also if you have one.  It's sort of up to whomever offers to throw them for you so I would just politely accept if they offer.

This is our third and my MIL mentioned a shower but it will probably be a small family shower, maybe a couple close friends like with our second.  We don't need much.  In all honestly as much as this seems silly, even in my own head, I want to pick out what I want.  We have been very blessed to be given and handed down almost everything we need for our kids so I am kind of excited to be able to pick some things out for this little guy. 

[joy2grow]

I am having my second child, but it's been over 6 years since my first and I'm in a new state in a small community so we will have another shower.  Lots of people here have been following our fertility journey and are as excited as we are to be expecting!  Just as with our first baby shower, we will have a co-ed BBQ.  We played a few games last time and it was silly fun for all who chose to participate.  A close friend offered to host already so she and I will get together to exchange ideas soon. I'm thinking the first week end in April would be a good time since I'm due on May 13th.

I have saved quite a few of the practical items needed for a baby and know my extended family members will pitch in for the big stuff, so the shower will be mostly to celebrate.  I will register a few local places and online though because I know people enjoy buying for a baby. 

As for the idea of having both, I imagine the vibe/focus would be much different (never experienced a blessing way) so I say go for it! 

[moriahmoonstar]

Thanks ladies. Yes, agree it will be very different I just don't want to seem too needy, or demanding of time I guess. although as I write that it sounds ridiculous since It's my belief we all deserve to be celebrated. But I have been to quite a few blessing ways and showers and just haven;t known anyone to do both. But I think I'll break the mold.

My sister wants to throw the shower, but she is so traditional, the idea makes me really nervous and it's going to be hard to convince her on co-ed, but it's our baby right? There was a chocolJoy2Grow I really like the bbq idea, I hadn't thought about that and that weekend in April would work for us too :) As for you second time mamas that aren't doing a shower, or even that are, I really recommend looking into a blessing way. It's a sweet way to have the attention focus shift from the baby, which it always is to you as a mama. Especially as a mom of other kids it might be nice to have someone watch the kids and a few of your closest friends can wash your feet and put flowers in your hair. Pastorama, I have been to blessing ways with 4 guest and ones with 20 so if you just have a few ladies it could work. Thats also part of my conflict, where. Since I am living here I feel I should have my celebrations here to help build my community that I will really need soon but my dearest friends aren;t here.

[jacquelinej]

I am terribly not sure about this.  I really don't like asking for things, it goes against my grain in many ways and I don't think we will need much.  When this one is born, it will be 7 1/2 years between DD and baby.  There is much more that I will need then I care to admit.  Since we are currently in Japan, I am not too concerned about it right now.  But I almost had to pull teeth to get my first shower (my family...not so up on the generosity/think-of-others thing) and then I ended up with 2 showers which was unexpected.  I have almost no cloth diapers left from DD, no clothes to speak of, a few blankets, no toys.  Most of it was donated to a woman who was unexpectedly pregnant and going through a divorce with no financial support from the ex.  I do wish I still had the crib, I should have probably held on to that, but I have moved 3 times since that time, 2 of which were across the US.  DH's family is all in New Zealand, so not expecting much from that side although this is his first child.  No one has offered to host, although some people have asked if we will need a lot....

I'll think more about it, but I can't imagine I will feel much different.  I just can't get passed the feeling of asking for things...I'd almost rather live without those items.

As for a blessing, I was invited to one but I could not attend (lived too far at the time).  No one else I know of does them.

[scary biscuits]

 I just can't get passed the feeling of asking for things...I'd almost rather live without those items.

I know what you mean and feel the same way. That is why (traditionally anyway) showers are always hosted by someone else, like a friend or family member. They are for "showering" someone with gifts that they will need. I'm not really expecting one this time around as we still have most everything from our first, but if someone threw one for me I wouldn't say no:)

[alaskanmomma]

I'm going to probably have a welcoming party with this baby.. I had one with ODD and liked more than the baby shower with DS...

With being invited to a blessing way and baby shower, I'd only go to both if the BW didn't have baby gifts given at it. If there was an implying of wanting/needing gifts at both events I would choose one over the other.

[moriahmoonstar]

What do you do at a welcoming party? That sounds really nice. I'm feeling more confident about doing both since they feel so different and my sister will host one and my midwife and best friend will do the blessingway, I just want people to attend both, and hopefully they will.

Gifts for a Blessing way are optional and only items for the mom, but usually people don't bring gifts. They bring an alter item that they can leave or take home and two beads for a birth necklace and maybe a letter, poem, song or story to share. So some though needs to be put in but no $ is necessary.

[alaskanmomma]

A welcoming party is basically a baby shower except the baby is already here, that way everyone gets to meet the baby :) I have space issues and such, and rather get it over with in one swoop than have people trickling in and awkward one-on-one visits lol. 

That sounds a lot different than what I was thinking a BW was, that sounds awesome :)