I'm Pregnant and I feel like the most miserable person alive

[justbreathe88]

I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago (I'm 7 weeks pregnant) and I feel like I've been the most miserable person alive since finding out. I'm 27, I've been married for one year, have a job, and my husband and I have spoken about having a baby before with optimism, so it seems only natural to be open to having a baby...but I'm not. I'm only seeing the negative in everything. I know I want it and I'm sure I'll be a good mother, but I'm freaking out. I've been so sick! I was on anti depressants for five years until I got pregnant now and had to get weened off of it. I'm sure I'm going to withdrawals as well. This all just seems so overwhelming and I can't seem to get happy about it about it. My husband is being so supportive and is so happy about it and I feel like I'm raining on his parade. I also feel guilty for not seeing or feeling anything positive about it. I'm also scared how my being sick will affect me at work. I don't have benefits and I'm scared what will happen to us financially if I am not working! Any advice would help!! 

[Katielady]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! You may want to get a second opinion on the anti-depressants. I know that a lot of mamas will choose to stay on them during pregnancy, although it depends on which one, and of course needs to be discussed with your doc. A lot of docs will automatically take mama off any drug during pregnancy because they're just scared of the risk, but they need to take into account the risk to your mental health as well, and weigh the two.

Hang in there. You're not alone. A lot of women, even women with planned pregnancies, are not happy at first. Some aren't happy til the baby comes. But the pregnancy is a long nine months, and you have time to get used to the idea and make preparations in your life for his or her arrival.

Take good care of yourself. Go on walks. Do whatever relaxes you. Simplify your life if you can. Have dinner with a girlfriend and tell her how you're feeling. Do something small and nice for yourself every day. It will get better!

 

[CrunchyMama19]

I would also get a second opinion about the antidepressants. That is kind of old thinking that you have to get off of them. Certainly not all are safe, but many are safe with pregnancy. My midwives with my last pregnancy switched me to Zoloft which I took pregnant, nursing, and am still taking with #3. That said, it is normal to be scared and questioning when pregnant. It is unknown and a daunting task to be a parent but incredibly rewarding. You also have hormones coursing through you at unprecedented levels which can make even the most sane level-headed person batty! Be gentle with yourself, get another opinion about antidepressants and find yourself a good midwife or ob-gyn you really trust and is knowledgeable on the current research and data on depression and pregnancy.

[LilyTiger]

I agree with all the other PP.  I remember having horrible doubts in the first trimester, despite the fact that we are financially stable and really really tried for this kid!  A lot of those doubts are normal (your life is about to change forever) but also made more intense by the crazy hormone cocktail.  Things evened out for me a lot in the second trimester and I was able to really enjoy the pregnancy for the second and third tris. 

I would be wary about anti-depressants during pregnancy, but as the other PP said, do your research and if you're so worried or depressed that you cannot function, there are options.  Some of these feelings, however, will pass, I suspect, when you're out of the first trimester.

[justbreathe88]

Thank you ladies for your advice! It's greatly appreciated! I have a drs appointment today and will be sure to ask about the anti depressants! Might make this easier although I would prefer to stay off of any medication! Thank you again!

[Katielady]

how are you doing, OP?
 

[emmacarter]

Hi, I got put on antidepressants at the end of my first baby's pregnancy and when I got pregnant with my 2nd I tried stopping them and omg I had horrific side effects, from head shocks to sweats, feeling sick and all sorts so I went back on them and my daughter was born completely well and healthy. I'm now on my 5th pregnancy and like you I'm am so exhausted, I can't explain how tired I am and I can't make a decision on anything, in even having doubts that I'm making the right decision but I know something if I stopped my antidepressant and had horrid withdrawals too I'd be a thousand times worse so please go back on them. With my 4th baby who I had last October I wasn't taking them and I ended up getting post natal psychosis, it was the worst 6mths of my life and I was hospitalised for 3mths and had to have ect. Once you get in to the 3rd trimester and start to feel less exhausted You'l be so much happier and positive. I hope everything goes well for you x

[emmacarter]

2nd trimester that was meant to say lol

[justbreathe88]

Hi Katielady! Thank you for checking up on me! I'm doing better! Its different everyday! At least I've somewhat  gotten my appetite back! There's moments I feel on top of the world and others I just want to crawl under a rock! Its a roller coaster! But everyone says itll get better and its worth it at the end! So I'm trying to stay positive and calm. I think I will have to get back on some sort of medication for my anxiety/depression...I think it will make this a lot easier! 

Thank you for the advise Emmacarter! I am waiting on my doctors call now to see what my options are! :)

[aim4balance]

I am 9 wks pg and this (my 4th pregnancy) has been so hard for me too!  Its been 4 yrs since my last pregnancy and its like I totally forgot how tired/awful/sick/ and even depressed I feel in the beginning.  And for the record I haven't ever been on meds, so I'm trying to say its hard even if you don't suffer from anxiety/depression!  But little by little I'm feeling better and you will too.  And I know what you mean going through the nervous thoughts about money/job/etc.  Hang in there it will be worth it completely in the end.  You don't have to have all the answers now to everything, let the journey unfold and trust you and your dh to be able to handle it all :)

[Shelly3424]

hi there, thank you for sharing. I want for you to please know that it will pass. I can promise you. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant, and unfortunately I am still in the stage that you are in. This is my second child, and the same thing happened when i was pregnant with my first. I honestly did not start feeling better until I started feeling the baby kick at 17 weeks 2 days (yes I remember the exact day, that's how amazing it was :D). I really think that the same thing will happen this time. Up until then, I kind of feel like my life is at a stand still and even though I see the baby on an ultrasound, I just don't feel like I'm pregnant and that I'm actually going to have a baby. Feeling the baby kick and having your belly actually get bigger helps tremendously. I am so glad that you have a supportive husband who doesn't mind that you are having a tough time. My boyfriend actually decided that he didn't want to have a baby with me anymore after I got pregnant, he spent three months being absolutely miserable and angry, and then he left me. You are very lucky to have someone to support you and help you feel happy again.